Confessions Of A Nurse With Poor Interpersonal Skills

I have watched as many technically-skilled nurses have gotten fired for their inability to get along with others and their poor interpersonal skills. To be blunt, these great nurses simply did not have the likeability factor. Hands-on procedural skills and the ability to assess are critical to keeping patients alive, but interpersonal skills are crucial to success in most occupations. Nurses Relations Article

Updated: Feb 26, 2021

Confessions Of A Nurse With Poor Interpersonal Skills

I've heard that the initial step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one in the first place. Well, my name is TheCommuter and I have a problem with interpersonal skills. Gulp.

For starters, interpersonal skills are the competencies that a person uses for interaction and effective communication with other people. We first learn these skills in our families of origin and continually reinforce them through interactions at school and with peers. Someone who has solid interpersonal skills knows how to listen actively, speak clearly, communicate with efficiency so others will understand, assert oneself without being too aggressive or passive, regulate one's emotions, build rapport, and resolve conflicts.

Interpersonal skills are important enough to make or break one's career because, even though a highly cheerful person can succeed in the workplace without a great deal of intelligence, a highly intelligent individual will face a series of uphill battles in his or her professional life without possessing good social skills. In fact, the Center for Public Resources did a national survey and found that 90% of the time people are fired for poor attitudes, inappropriate behavior and poor interpersonal skills rather than deficient job skills (McNamara, 2003). Social ineptitude, difficulty bonding with people on a personal level, struggling with empathy, and failure to express ideas will harm one's ability to build interpersonal relationships in all aspects of life.

You're probably wondering, "Why did you pick nursing as a career if you know you have a problem with interpersonal skills?" I started training for nursing in my early 20s. My sense of identity was not fully developed at that time and, although I had been in the workforce since the age of 16, I was blissfully unaware that my relational issues might have been due to a lack of basic interpersonal skills. Although my employment had never been terminated anywhere, I was getting on the nerves of supervisors, coworkers, and customers without having much insight on the reasons behind it all.

I am an introvert who does not necessarily take pleasure in meeting new people, even though I put on the acting game for the sake of my patients. Also, I'm not the nurse who seeks validation or yearns to 'be needed' by others. People say I'm quiet. I'm task-oriented and often create a 'to do' list when each shift begins. Small talk aggravates me, but I will chat and schmooze to put the patient or family member at ease. I am serious and lack a sense of humor to the point that I take some jokes literally. I have a restricted affect, intermittent eye contact, and I do not smile much because my smiles often seem fake. It took several years of working in nursing to realize that my interpersonal skills were problematic.

What have I done to conquer my issues? To be frank, I have had to play the game. If my supervisor babbles on endlessly about a recent vacation, I actively listen, ask questions, and otherwise pretend to be interested. If a patient or visitor has questions about a medication, physician, procedure, or some random topic, I smile while making direct eye contact and answer to the very best of my ability. If a coworker tells a corny joke, I laugh as if it was funny. I also initiate more conversations, ask more questions, and participate in discussions that others have started. It took me a long time to realize that people want to be reminded that they matter. Acknowledging them, connecting on a personal level, and seeking information reminds them that they matter.

I have seen many technically-skilled nurses get fired for their inability to be personable and their lack of interpersonal skills. The hands-on skills and ability to assess are critical to keeping patients alive, but the interpersonal skills are crucial to one's success in most occupations. When one uses good interpersonal skills to connect to coworkers and patients on a deeper level, they will usually take pleasure in your presence and regard you positively.

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About TheCommuter, BSN, RN

TheCommuter, BSN, RN, CRRN is a longtime physical rehabilitation nurse who has varied experiences upon which to draw for her articles. She was an LPN/LVN for more than four years prior to becoming a Registered Nurse.

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Confessions Of A Nurse With Poor Interpersonal Skills

About TheCommuter, BSN, RN

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