Co-Workers' Harsh Words

Nurses Relations

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Specializes in Cardiac, ER, Pediatrics, Corrections.

Hey all! I just needed to vent/rant about something that happened to me...

I got my first job as an RN in an Internal Medicine clinic. I was excited. Last week was my first week precepting to the clinic, learning the system, etc. The nurses did help me somewhat but mostly I got thrown to the side because they were so busy. The doctor I was going to be working for, I found out would be leaving the clinic for good. I would still have my job, but it was unknown what I would be doing exactly. One day I overheard one of the nurses saying "It's a waste of time to train her because her doctor is leaving soon." Those exact words. I tried to ignore it. I was eager to learn but most of the time I just sat there while they complained about EVERYTHING.

Well, Thursday I saw an opening in another unit. I jumped for it! Friday, I moved to the new clinic. One of my friends is a receptionist and the two nurses I was working with in Internal Med came up and said "She is gone. Thank God! She did not fit in here. She was too bubbly and she was SO DUMB. She didn't know ANYTHING." My friend was so angered she reported it to their boss.

I am very angry and hurt. I am not dumb and of course I don't know anything only being a week in and when you aren't teaching me anything!! I do not like them spreading these rumors.

Any advice? How should I handle seeing them in the hall? It's bee reported so I'm not sure what else I can do. :( I can't quite shake it.

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Smile and greet them as if nothing happened. Every day you learn a bit more, and you are well on your way to proving them WRONG. There will come a day when they are very ashamed of their stupid and spiteful behaviour; you'll know when it happens because they will try to become your BFFs. Just smile to yourself and be polite to them, but you know you will never trust people like that and you will never be like them. Hang in there.

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This might be one of those things that takes some time to get over. People have such potential to influence each other. It's easy to wax eloquent about it, but people (myself included at times!) don't always actively think about this when espousing an opinion/emotion.

I had an encounter with a patient years back. It angers me still to think about it. The patient was extremely rude and aggressive for no apparent reason. I don't know why, but her words--while absolutely baseless--got to me, and still get me to this day. Those feelings of anger and shame have faded with time, as I'm sure yours will. Try to look on the bright side, despite how crappy you feel. You apparently have an awesome friend who stood up for you to the point of talking to the manager--AND you don't have to work with these other nurses anymore.

If you do find yourself back in contact with them, I'd say try to act natural, but I'd be very guarded myself. I have a terrible poker face. If I don't like you, you'll probably figure it out. :whistling:

I hope things get better for you. No one likes a hostile work environment, and I'm glad to hear you're somewhere new!

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Specializes in Cardiac, ER, Pediatrics, Corrections.

Thanks all! You are definitely right. As much as I want to take the route of calling them out, it's much better to be mature and civil. I will just try my best to brush it off and know that I am a new nurse, I am not expected to know it all. Who does? And yes, my friend is wonderful! I couldn't thank her enough for standing up for me!

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Hi,

One thing I am learning about myself is to accept not taking the negativity from others. I was super reactive to people. Now because of therapy I am able to have GREAT days by realizing their negativity isn't from me but something internal.... their flaws. Try to have pity for them, that will help you get over this. REAL women have no problem speaking up, these fools just gossip. Your going to do wonderful! The best revenge is sometimes passive being SUCCESSFUL.

Whip that hair and do a girl-bye!

Kadeem

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What?! Being bubbly is a bad thing?!?!?!?! If you think about what they said--you. don't. fit. in. because. you. are. bubbly. That means they do because they are nasty. Have a giggle about that to yourself. And I would rather be "dumb" than hostile.

Their loss.

(or you could have a giggle about their faces when they attempt to befriend you in the future and you say--hopping around a little for emphasis---"Heyyyyy! How are youuuuu?! Ohhhhh emmmmm geeeeee I am so STOKED I did the little switcher-oonie thing and am LOVIN this darling nursin' gig!! It is SOOOOO AWESOME!! Why bless your hearts for thinking of me!! Ohhhh emmmm geeeee ya'll are so LOVELY. Tootles!!") (ok, don't really do that, but giggle about the "dumb" reactions you could play up.)

It hurts to have anyone say anything about you as a person or a nurse. Makes them look ridiculous! Your friend is great to have reported it. Chin up and be thankful that you don't have to work with them anymore.

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Whip that hair and do a girl-bye!

Kadeem

Awesome response! I couldn't agree more.

Those miserable, negative people have NOTHING to do with your future, or your happiness. Don't let them bring you down. Congratulations on your new position ! Good luck in your new career (((HUGS)))

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Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

The best revenge is ALWAYS to live well. SO keep moving forward and as they see you are successful they will keep their mouths shut. It sounds like they were jealous,you sound upbeat and happy and frankly they sound miserable. No wonder they think you did not fit in...you rocked their negativity boat and they did not like it!:devil:

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If it was me, I would appreciate my preceptor at my new location more.

After having a quick little view of what it is liked to set on the sides and learn it on your own, your more willing to be thankful to any kind of preceptor that is actually willing to work with you.

If I ran into them again and I asked nicely about them, I would tell them how you love your new location and have the best preceptor ever! I wouldn't say bad things about them, etc. But I would talk about how wonderful the area your working in now and that you feel it will give you a chance to use the skills have and to learn a whole lot more.

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Specializes in Pediatric Hematology/Oncology.

It sucks and, seriously, it happens in any profession. I hope your new spot ends up being a much more positive experience. It sounds like that prior place was experiencing a lot of bad changes that may have been leaving people sour and it was not a good time for them to be bringing new people in (unless they were fixing to bring new people in to replace everyone). When people are in a place for so long, they get a little jaded, everything is old hat, and when someone new comes in and has a new, fresh attitude, the oldsters are put off by it because they see it as ignorance and an affront to their well-deserved, hard-won crabbiness.

Anyway, good luck. I'm sure it'll be a lot better. When you see them, just be polite but, as others have said, you don't need them in your inner circle. You need people you can rely on and trust. Use their bad behavior to fuel your fire to do your job like a BOSS. :)

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Specializes in Cardiac, ER, Pediatrics, Corrections.

wow! great to know I have such support on here! Thanks everyone! I have put the bad experience behind me and just act as if it didn't happen. You are right, as long as I'm happy and I know I'm doing my job 100% then I shouldn't care what others think or say with a bad attitude! :)

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I'd love to have you as a co-worker.....now get to whippin' that hair & loving your new career, lol !!:up:

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