Being an ugly nurse

SE_BSN_RN, BSN · Aug 26, 2012

Don't feel bad at all...I felt ***EXACTLY*** the same way 6 months ago. I am 6'1", 42 years old, and at that time I was 310 pounds.
Since then, I finally got off my a**, quit smoking, and started walking and changed my diet a little (mainly stopped drinking pop). It was rough at first where 2 mile walks seemed insane, and anything faster than 2.5 mph was not possible. But here I am a few months later and I regularly do 7 mile walks 3x a week at 3.6 mph and I have lost 30 pounds so far. It really is that simple.
I also finally decided to stop trying to fool myself that I wasn't ridiculously bald and started shaving it all off. I think it's sexy now, and as soon as I get the guts to tattoo 3 black spots on my head, looking like a bowling ball will be a life's dream come true!
For the record, I am just off a 23 year career as an IT geek...there is nothing particularly attractive about me other than I am smart, funny as hell, and am friendly to everyone no matter what. THAT'S what people care about.
It wasn't until I started making all these changes that people started noticing me again. While I am still single, that's only by choice.
You are what you THINK you are. If you think you are an ugly, boring, unpopular person then that's what you will be. OR you could be totally in touch with your inner-insanebaldolduglyashellbutIamstillsexy, and watch how things change.
Trust me.

LOL Wow!! Good for you!

bostonbakednurse · Aug 26, 2012

Keep the focus on the patient when you go to work and that's all that really matters. It's not about us anyways!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 26, 2012

I have to post. I think OP has great assets (see my earlier post) but please don't bash younger nurses or ones that are pretty. I thought the whole point of the thread was to point out OP's great assets, not to bash other people. Just because someone is pretty, doesn't mean they are awful or dumb, there are plenty of pretty nurses that are also smart. Also, age has nothing to do with anything. That's reverse discrimination. One post said they started nursing in their 50s and pts respected them more...why would someone in their 20s starting nursing not deserve that respect? Education is equal, experience is equal. Only age is different. I must add, yes, that comment bugged me a lot because I am in my 20s and I look like a teenager. That doesn't mean I am immature or dumb.
In short, I think it's wonderful to point out great assets about people but you definitely don't have to bash others in the process.

I think the older patients might feel more comfortable with (notice I didn't say "respect more") the new grad in her 50s than the new grad in her 20s because the older nurse has more LIFE experience. Nursing experience might be the same or even less, but someone in their 50s has presumably learned more life lessons than someone in their 20s. And most of us feel a tad more comfortable with someone closer to our own age as we edge toward becoming senior citizens ourselves.

Jackie_nav954 · Sep 4, 2012

I'm going to go ahead and disagree with this generalization. Young and hot nurse definitely doesn't mean stupid and incompetent. Keep in mind he/she got through nursing school. Kudos for that, whether you're beautiful or hideous.

Jackie_nav954 · Sep 4, 2012

Think, "bimbo". Hey, it's the oldest story in the world, I didn't write it, I'm just sayin'...to a lot of people, particularly older people who wouldn't care if you looked like Uncle Fester, young and hot = incompetent. Throw in the way that most of the young cuties talk ("Like, OMG, like, whar did I leave that IV pole, OMG???!!!!"), and believe you me, the vast majority of patients would rather have you taking care of them than Hannah Montana, Version Generation X.

I'm going to go ahead and disagree with this generalization. Young and hot nurse definitely doesn't mean stupid and incompetent. Keep in mind he/she got through nursing school. Kudos for that, whether you're beautiful or hideous.

roser13, ASN, RN · Sep 4, 2012

Hey I'm insulted...lol I'm a Star Wars/computer geek myself and I still watch daily reruns of Star Trek on Netflix...live long and prosper... lol... Dude people in pain in a hospital don't really care how you look. You really want to know what people want from a male nurse or any nurse for that matter? It's CONFIDENCE! If you stand up proud walk with confidence and show everyone you know what you are doing (or as a new grad pretend to know what you are doing, then run to the nurse station to ask someone experienced) that's all they want and they will be very happy with having you take care of them...next thing you know everyone will be calling you Doctor...lol which I see as a perk of being a male nurse, but of course I would correct them hehe...maybe:no: lol. Anyways you gotta be a bit more confident in yourself if you are going to make it in this field. So no do not hang in the towel just yet. Hey if you still having problems with this issue you could always work in the OR where people are sedated all the time...I think thats where I'm heading cause I really dont like talking much either, I'm one of those who got no problem chatting on computer but when I get into nursing school I don't think you'd hear 2 words out of me, plus I'm a double minority i.e African American male nurse to be, so we all got our challanges to face, the point is to face it head on!:thankya:

Looking forward to your opinions when/if you get into/graduate from nursing school.

jkaee · Sep 5, 2012

Let me tell you a little story....

I had just delivered my 7th child, and that labor was by far the worst one. I was pre-eclamptic, delivering at 34 weeks. I was in labor for over 30 hours with mag and pitocin running the entire time. I finally had a c-section (my first and only). I was brought up to the PP unit, still had mag and pit running, and a morphine drip as well.

I was sick. I have never felt that way in my life.

During the night shift, I had a nurse that came in religiously every 2 hours. Keeping the lights dim, she warmed some water to clean me, change my chux, help me get repositioned and do her assessment. All I could do at that point was open my eyes to watch her.

To this day, I could not tell you what she looked like. I wouldn't be able to pick her out of a line up. All I remember was how kind, gentle and competent she was when caring for me at a time that I couldn't do it myself.

blondesareeasy · Jul 31, 2013

Lately I've been asked to have a female nurse fill in for me when doing bedpans, pee pee, etc. I'd rather have the women do it anyway...less work for me. But I'm surprised at the number of female patients who don't give a damn if they're on their periods and "I'm the victim" for a clean up on isle 7. It's a complement that they don't mind me doing it. There's no rhyme or reason to it at all. Young, old, etc. Recently I did bedpan, menstrual care all day on a hottie that looked like my first wife. We flirted all day. But when the night shift male nurse came in she called it quits and asked for a female. I dunno.

Christy1019, ASN, RN · Jul 31, 2013

Lately I've been asked to have a female nurse fill in for me when doing bedpans pee pee, etc. I'd rather have the women do it anyway...less work for me. But I'm surprised at the number of female patients who don't give a damn if they're on their periods and "I'm the victim" for a clean up on isle 7. It's a complement that they don't mind me doing it. There's no rhyme or reason to it at all. Young, old, etc. Recently I did bedpan, menstrual care all day on a hottie that looked like my first wife. We flirted all day. But when the night shift male nurse came in she called it quits and asked for a female. I dunno.[/quote']
Umm there's a lot going on in this post that leaves me feeling uncomfortable...

IEDave, ASN, CNA, LVN · Aug 1, 2013

Hi folks. My questions in this thread are actually more serious than they'll seem...
We've discussed at length here how awesome it is to be a young, hot nurse. Well, how about if you're old and ugly? The first strike against me is I'm male. The second strike is I'm going to be past 40 by time I finish Nursing school. My hair is thinning a little and I've got a mild case of rosacea. I'm somewhat overweight, but I've also got a condition known as Diastasis Recti which makes it look like I have a beer gut. I never was a cute little kid to start with and never got to be "young and hot" like everyone else. Basically, I'm at tops a step up from your standard Level 4 bridge troll. In real life, if I'm too nice to people or too eager to help them with anything (an innate flaw of my personality) it somehow translates to "creepy" instead of "kind". This disqualifies me from L&D and Ped for sure, but I'm fine with that.
When a classmate of mine tells people he is going into nursing, the responses he gets are usually "*swoon* nothing like a hot male nurse!". When I tell people, I usually get stuff like "You'll be useful for all the heavy lifting and cleaning up".
Surely some of you Studly Guys and Lovely Ladies have had to work alongside someone who looks like they stepped out of the Mos Eisley Cantina scene before (and I don't mean that in the cool way). Even if the ugly nurse is reasonably intelligent, competent, fairly personable with a great sense of humor and doesn't smell bad, would their dodgy appearance make them more prone to:
1) Discipline for mistakes.
2) Lateral violence.
3) Getting a bedpan dumped in their locker
4) Patients being 'creeped out' in the presence of an ugly old man
5) Jealousy from co-workers (see Mos Eisley comment above)
6) Getting hired in the first place
7) ???
I'm not becoming a nurse to go hit on all the hot young female nurses (as my friends seem to believe) so I'm not overly worried about dating prospects. It's a job, it's a career and I'm driven to help people.
The people I work with now love the crap out of me because I'm good at what I do, I'm good at understanding what THEY do, I'm good at getting everyone and everything to work together and I make the work environment fun and enjoyable with humor and good cheer. However, we're all a bunch of computer/Star Wars/Lego/DnD geeks and we don't work with the public a whole helluva lot.
But nobody goes to a hospital to see ugly people, right? Should I just pack it in and join the circus instead?

Um, nope.

First - I'm a relative noob @ 1 yr 3 mos. PD employment at a semi-local SNF as a CNA. 50 y.o., male pattern baldness, 5'7" & 290 lbs. Think "Pillsbury Doughboy" and you're on the right track. Much as TV would like you to believe otherwise, it's very unlikely anyone's going to be derogatory towards you - so long as you're good at what you do, and don't make extra work for them. That's the reality of the situation - from the front lines. Period.

Second: in order...

- Discipline for mistakes; I've made some doozies, and heard of doozies done by others - unless it's actionable, I wouldn't worry. You're held to the same standards as everyone else.

- Lateral violence; because of your appearance, no. You can get some direct violence from patients & their families, and it's possible you'll be singled out by some of the cliques. Again, I've had it done to me, and seen it done to others - if anything the little cuties may just have it a bit worse because they may or may not be used to the rough & tumble of the nursing profession.

- Bedpan in locker; Not likely, since that's a definite infection control issue - facilities get written up for things like that.

- Pt. being "creeped out..."; Nyet. Almost certainly you'll run into pts. that want a "girl nurse"; whether you'll be able to honor their wishes depends on facility policy. Some bend over backwards to please, others don't.

- Jealousy from co-workers; possibly. You may run into co-workers that may have a beef with you because you're a better/worse/different nurse than they are; that you attended a better/worse/different school than they did; that you come from a better/worse/different cultural background than they did, and the list goes on & on. As the song says - "You can't please every one, so you - you got to please your self." Just not at someone else's expense, if you please.

- Getting hired in the first place; again, employers want a person to fill a position - be good at what you do, present it properly and there's a good chance they'll bite. Right now, it's still tough to find work, and it doesn't matter if you're GQ material or not. F'rinstance...I was laid off in June of '09; couldn't find any work. At all. Got cross-trained as a pharmacy tech; same deal. Went to the Red Cross to get trained as a CNA. 2 days after I successfully completed CNA boot camp I had a job lead; 6 weeks after class I had a job. In IT my job hunts (during good times) typically took 8-12 weeks, and it took me 6 months to find my first IT gig as a computer operator bursting reports & hanging 9-track tapes.

--- ???; Really, the only thing I'd have an issue with is your lack of self-confidence - you need to be calm & assertive with pts., or they'll eat you alive. Some will, anyway.

Incidentally, don't count yourself out of Peds/L&D as a male nurse; couple of guys I've worked with/swapped electrons with work in children's units. Big thing there is how well you get along with kids & new parents; with the kiddos I put on my "Uncle Dave" hat & have had few issues. New parents - I've got a clinical rotation in L&D coming up; let you know how it goes.

Short version - there is no causal relationship (or for that matter, correlation) between ABC's "Gray's Anatomy" and the real world. If you have the brains, the heart, and a pretty thick hide than you can pull off a nursing gig. The only person who can make that determination is you. The best of luck to you - and, we're here to help.

----- Dave.

p.s. The potato salad in the Break Room is excellent! :yes:

boogalina, ADN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN · Aug 1, 2013

You really only have a problem if you like Ewoks...because no self-respecting SW geek should.

IEDave, ASN, CNA, LVN · Aug 1, 2013

Whoops! Just noticed this is a "granny thread" - sorry!

----- Dave