"Nurses Are So Mean" - page 6

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." ... Read More

  1. by   Bert33
    Looks like an interesting read. Well I'm absolutely agree that no can help you out as long as your not bothering about yourself. If that's does not happens then end of the day you end up with blaming the co-workers, the boss and even to the job also. And its not sounds good if your dumping your garbage on everyone else by being rude. It better try to deal with the problem, Find a friend to confide in, get a counselor, just learn to leave the attitude at the door.
    Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Jun 1, '10 : Reason: TOS
  2. by   annmarie899
    Good advice Bert33. Sometimes you have to let the small stuff roll off your back. And the funny thing is - if you confront the really mean people, often times they crumble because they are weak inside. They are just bullies on the outside. The first time I confronted a young smart-mouth nurse for telling me to 'get off my fat ass and take care of the call light' - I turned around and told her - in a very professional manner, that her language was inappropriate and unprofessional - she broke down in tears. It was too funny. This is the same nurse who acted like she knew it all, but would stick a patient 6 or 7 times to start an IV, then ask for help ( I would go in to the bedside and try to start the IV on her patient) and would find uncapped bloody IV needles all over the bed. Some people are all bluff and no substance. Sometimes you have to call their bluff.
  3. by   reidob
    Though I agree with most of what you say (and disagree with those who criticize you for venting a bit), I think it is undoubtedly true that many experienced nurses are ill-prepared to be preceptors. Precepting is a specialized skill that takes a great deal of patience and a clear awareness of learning styles and the varying abilities of the nurses one is training. Just because you have been a nurse for many years, even an excellent one, doesn't mean you will be any good at precepting. I have even considered that there should perhaps be a special certification for being a nurse preceptor, except that the last thing we need is one more thing to be certified for!
  4. by   McClain
    I have to say that having worked in a number of places and seen many new nurses coming in to their first jobs, there is plenty of criticism and too-high expectation, especially in specialty areas in hospitals. I have worked for many years with nursery nurses who openly called other nurses idiots, new or not, because they didn't have the depth of experience or knowledge in the nursery. I have seen the same behavior in labor and delivery nurses everywhere, and especially there, the "old" nurses all seem to think that if the "new" nurse makes any mistake, they're the one that takes the fall for it, even though the "new" nurse has a license and even may have experience. I have had orientees complain that my coworkers and I were "mean" for intervening in a situation where urgent action was required and they were either too inexperienced or too dense to notice that something needed doing right then. And I have been mistrusted just because I was new, and it was expected, always, that I prove myself before anyone would trust me with my own patients, much less theirs while they were on break. I have had very few collegues actually show me something to help me gain a skill or learn something without a tone of voice that didn't communicate that they thought I was stupid because I didn't know what they were showing me. Nobody knows everything and learning is ongoing. Very little of that behavior had anything to do with whether their kids were giving them trouble, they had marriage problems or car trouble. It almost always was a professional thing. Enough of those orientees were older than me that blaming youth and beauty for their perceived persecution would be completely invalid. There were plenty of times when I was older and more experienced than my orienter, and still got the mistrust. I'm an excellent clinical nurse by my own and others' measure and I still have seen and received plenty of clinical criticism, aside from the interpersonal nit-picking and back-biting that goes on. There have always been cliques and good-old-girls clubs in every hospital I've worked at. Some of that crap had to do with ethnicity. Yes, we go to work to earn a living while performing a service that fulfills needs and satisfies both us and our patients, and we usually have no choice about who we work with. It isn't realistic to expect that everyone we work with will be astute, fast, efficient, kind and selfless every minute regardless of what's going on in their personal life, nor that work is a place to socialize. It is realistic to expect that everyone will do their job, pull their weight, and practice safely. If we hold the same, realistic expectations of ourselves and our coworkers and treat each other fairly, always, that would go a long way toward changing the perception that nurses are "mean."
  5. by   nursingstudent209
    I'm still just a nursing student but I completely agree that nurses can be mean. Through no fault of a nurse, people completely try to take advantage of a smart person and their mind because they don't want to use their own mind.
  6. by   elkpark
    Quote from is5512
    With all due respect, Ma'am, the economy and the corporations etc are doing us a favor. They are helping us identify who has integrity and who does not.
    Yes, definitely, but not necessarily the way you mean. I currently work for an employer (but not much longer, I hope!!) that runs off all the good, competent, honest people and not just keeps but promotes and indulges the sorry losers. The worse example of a nurse you are, the brighter your future with this organization. I've never run into so many nurses in one place (including throughout the administration) that make me embarrassed to be a nurse.
  7. by   Doc Lori, R.N.
    In hindsight, which as we all know is 20/20, I used to be one of those "scary nurses" raising red flags everywhere. In 1988, my kind unit manager took me into his office. I cried. I had the skill, yet lacked the confidence. I was trembling at the thought of performing a simple "Nursing 101" task. Once I felt as though I had a safe platform where I could actually share that with someone without feeling as though I was a burden or dissapointment, or ruining someone's (that preceptor's) day, I flourished. It is a big scary deal, and we have all been there. Perhaps approach can be considered, and the preceptor's expectations could be modified, within the scope of your facility's policies. Perhaps the "scary nurse" would be better off with another preceptor. Perhaps, that flag raising nurse is on this site or another forum venting about how "scary" her preceptor is. It is also fair to say that some individuals just clash. You could be the preceptor for someone who's company you would not necessarily seek outside of a work situation, and vice versa.
  8. by   colby harper
    This problem could be fixed by removing all femal nurses. LOL
  9. by   nursel56
    I'll just gingerly step over the post directly above this one---:uhoh21:

    Doc Lori RN- I agree with you about the value of having a preceptor with the grace to allow a new nurse to talk about her anxiety in a safe place. I had a similar experience when I decided to talk to a supervisor honestly about my anxiety in a certain area-- it's amazing how knowing the world won't come to an end if you share your vulnerabilities, and that a person believes in your ultimate potential frees up the energy needed to master the task at hand.

    I wish all were mature enough to listen to a new grad's normal and understandable anxiety and provide the psychological space for growth to them. It's quite a blessing and as you said, can be just enough to allow the new person to turn the corner.
  10. by   queen777
    Quote from elkpark
    Yes, definitely, but not necessarily the way you mean. I currently work for an employer (but not much longer, I hope!!) that runs off all the good, competent, honest people and not just keeps but promotes and indulges the sorry losers. The worse example of a nurse you are, the brighter your future with this organization. I've never run into so many nurses in one place (including throughout the administration) that make me embarrassed to be a nurse.
    This was the reason I quit nursing although I do wish I had kept up my skills now due to my husband's business doing so poorly we could use the money. I just got tired of not being able to Just Go To Work and do my job without having to fix a problem created by the last nurse.
    And the pranksters...they would say.. "no that's not my patient", "yes, that's my patient", "not my patient', just stupid stuff, in the mean time I needed vitals on a particular patient. I just wanted to slap them. I really just wanted to do my job!
  11. by   RNSTEPHNIE
    I agree to
  12. by   Sweetwater
    Dont let anyone spoil your journey. If a unit is toxic, get out - but take your time. I find major teaching facilities are addressing horizontal violence more so than community hospitals. In fact, there are some that will actually suspend or fire an individual for lack of civility. That is because this problem is a MAJOR safety issue. If you decide to speak with your manager or HR, BE WELL ARMED. Get some ideas from Suzanne Gordons website; there is a great article in "Health Affairs" journal titled "Bullying" that pertains to behavior among nurses; on the Joint Commission site you can find specific new guidelines that
    address the issue BECAUSE IT IS A PATIENT SAFETY ISSUE; finally the Robert Wood Johnson public policy site has some articles that are worthy of finding.Take good care of yourself and remember, its usually because they are deeply unhappy, may have made some bad choices in their life - everyone else is supposed to "understand" their rage in the workplace. Given that
    medical errors continue to be a hugh problem, many health policy experts are taking a hard look at workplace communication.
    All units should be "safe" in that communication is open and without ridicule. Finally, keep in mind that poor behavior by some nurses does not make us worthy of respect by other groups. WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND IT IS US.
  13. by   KristinBo
    I understand where you are coming from. We all get frustrated and get into bad moods. But at your job you are supposed to be professional and set an example. You are supposed to get along with your co-workers, accept the new ones that arrive and educate the unexperienced. You aren't supposed to be mean and hateful because "you're having a bad day". Too bad, you are at work not your home, you are in a professional setting, would you be a jerk to your patients because you're "having a bad day"? Maybe the reason why you would be so rich if you had money for everytime you heard someone say nurses are mean is because some of them really are this mean...maybe just maybe.