annmarie899

It's pretty easy to breeze through the easy stuff - but if you are studying to be a NP or, for example, a law student ( who typically study 6 hours a day, no joke) or med students - who are required to read at least 3-4 hours a day just to keep up - when you are studying the harder things, unless you have a photographic memory, you really do have to spend time at your studies. good luck to all! It's really worth it in the end, when you put the time in.

If only it were that easy again. I'm in a nursing doctoral program, and right now my life revolves around my research and literature reviews, as well as reading and studying. Free time is what is left over for family and doing things with my husband. I also actively search for grant funding. If you are serious about your nursing career, and being proficient in your role, it will become a way of life. You will have to give up certain things ( maybe TV!)

Although posing nude does not violate any nurse practice acts - it is a fact that employers will do internet searches to find out who they are potentially employing. Your photos could hurt your prospects. There are ways you can have them removed, and I would recommend you pursue that avenue - they may haunt you for years to come, as you already know by what has happened to many other people: nurses, actresses, politicians, etc, etc, etc. Your concerns are well founded. I am always amazed at what people post on the internet and then are surprised that 'the entire world' has access to it!! It used to be called 'the world-wide web'.

One thing is glaringly certain - this LTC facility took advantage of you, a new nurse, and then made you feel bad about it. It is them that should be reported, because they have broken so many policies and procedures it is not funny. If they had been inspected by JC while one nurse was on duty for ? how many residents - they would have gotten a huge fine. my husband is an attorney for a nursing home, and he is litigating a $50,000 fine they had levied for just such offenses. When I was a younger nurse, about 15 years ago, I worked per diem in nursing homes. there was one everyone told me 'never go to'. Well, I just had to see for myself. I thought I had gone to hell. The frail, elderly were laying in bed with bedsores so deep you could see their hip bones and sacrums, and my job was to unpack the old dressings, and re pack their wounds. I felt so bad for them, instead of doing my 8 hour shift, I stayed 9, and still wasn't done. I felt that I was going to vomit most of the day. Where was my help? the other nurses were at the nursing station talking most of the day. Since I was an agency nurse, they were going to let me 'do it all' because I made more money. Consider yourself lucky - you were used and abused, but you got out early, and you learned where NOT to work. You could - really - report this nursing home for so many abuses its not funny. In your spare time, look up some of the nursing home codes. Knowledge is power. Then ask for a good reference, and only accept a good one. Get it in writing, don't accept the statement "have people call me" - that is a red flag. When you interview again, and you will (there are so many jobs out there for nurses!) say, well, I realized the nursing home setting was not for me, and I decided I needed a change. . . people usually understand that. Not all types of nursing is for all nurses. When I left oncology, I simply said, "I realized oncology was not for me" and all recruiters just shook their heads and said, 'yes, I can understand that, I could never do that". Enough said. Never bash your ex employer. Never say too much. Just move on. Better luck next time!

Hi, I agree that some instructors can be harsh and critical, and just power mongers. I had one in LPN school. She terrorized me. But instructors have the right to watch what you do - but if they ask you to repeat something over and over - that might be contrued as some type of harrassment! You need to gain enough confidence in yourself so that you can stand confident in what you do - do it calmly and not get shaken, even if this means you practice when alone with no one around. I did much the same thing, when ever I got the chance. I also watched other people, and learned from how they did things. sometimes you just have to 'look confident' - you know, fake it till you make it , like the saying goes. there are some teachers, and it unfortunately sounds like you have one of these - that hone in on someone who seems even a bit unsure of themselves, and will just fly in for the kill. Don't let her shake you. Blow it off, and do your best. If she knows you get rattled - she will make it harder for you. I'm surprised to hear that with having OCD you had a problem with being late- I thought it would be the opposite? my sister is OCD, and is extremely organized, on time, etc etc. Im bipolar, so I'm less organized, and always late, but not a slob. My husband is ADD - and he is very disorganized! if you can work on your confidence skills - you will find that people will no longer take advantage of you. good luck! annmarie899:yeah::redbeathe

Good advice Bert33. Sometimes you have to let the small stuff roll off your back. And the funny thing is - if you confront the really mean people, often times they crumble because they are weak inside. They are just bullies on the outside. The first time I confronted a young smart-mouth nurse for telling me to 'get off my fat ass and take care of the call light' - I turned around and told her - in a very professional manner, that her language was inappropriate and unprofessional - she broke down in tears. It was too funny. This is the same nurse who acted like she knew it all, but would stick a patient 6 or 7 times to start an IV, then ask for help ( I would go in to the bedside and try to start the IV on her patient) and would find uncapped bloody IV needles all over the bed. Some people are all bluff and no substance. Sometimes you have to call their bluff.

johnny bravo: good for you. and you know what? sometimes upper management is watching as well. I worked in a large urban hospital as a per diem nurse, did 12 or 16 hour shifts to work my way through NP school, and I would go to any floor they put me on - no complaints. I was often bullied, and more often than not - deserted by the nurses aid who knew I was not a permanent employee, so could just take off and enjoy a long break (like 8 hours worth). Instead of complaining ( which got me nowhere) I learned to work alone - in fact, it was easier that way. It was easier for me to do my own VS, I&O, and everything else, rather than waste my time looking for the NA. I remember hearing alot of complaints from the permanent nurses - you know the rote. After about a year I was approached by one of the nurse managers and asked if I would consider the position of WE nursing superviser for the hospital with guaranteed 12 hours on Sat & Sun. I accepted. You would not believe the responses I received from some of the nurses on the floors ( 21 floors to be precise) "how the hell do you go from per diem nurse to supervisor? I've been trying to get that job for years!!" ( I wonder too!) to the opposite end of the spectrum, such as " Congratulations, I'm here to support you, let me know if you need anything". The worst was in the ED: some of the nurses would not even treat me with respect. But then, they were not treating the patients with respect, either. What is my perspective now? I think the nurses with the bad attitudes are still in the same place. . . and I'm now working on my doctorate in nursing. Health care is about how we treat people. Do we think we can be good nurses and treat each other like crap? Do we think no one notices?? Isn't that just being hypocritical?? We all have bad days, but don't you have bad days with your family, too? Do you treat your family like crap? kick your dog? Hit and scream at your kids?? how many excuses can you come up with?? maybe if you can't control yourself - it's either time to take a new job AWAY from patients ( the insurance companies are looking for nurses, case managment, research, etc, etc) or maybe retire.

what do you do now, and is it a better environment?

It's so good to see all the stories, even better to know that many have worked in good environments. It made me realize the times I have worked in really good supportive units - I worked in a small suburban hospital in telemetry, and most of the nurses were older, and they were just wonderful to me. They were kind, supportive, patient, and teaching oriented. I loved working there. I remember so well thinking that they were my models - that I wanted to be like them. And even today, when I have a student or research assistant, I still try to emulate their behaviors. So I wonder - why do some work places become so toxic, and others supportive? Is it the one bad apple effect that ruins the entire barrel? Should nursing schools be teaching nurses how to mentor each other? Are nursing faculty the problem and should they be the solution? I have had the range of nursing instructors from Attila the Hun, to the most wonderful teacher. I know from experience that women as a gender can be the most supportive and caring of people to others and to each other - and yet as nurses and co-workers, we still hear and I have personally experienced these horror stories. What happens? Do we become competitive? I don't think the literature has really come up with any answers but it would be great to see if anyone has any ideas. . . annmarie

Hi ladies, one thing about being bipolar is the awful anxiety that can just eat you alive. . it's the worst thing. My life is so much better since I've started topamax and ativan. ahh. I can think straight, no more racing thoughts. My husband still drives me nuts, but I have an extra ativan to take when he does. I've been a nurse for over 25 years, and dealt with the depression and anxiety, and never know anything was wrong until 3 years ago when my son took his life. We now know he was bipolar I. He was always anxious, never really slept well, and always moved from one thing to another. The guilt I felt, and still do, that as a nurse and NP - that I did not know and never picked up the signs has been devastating. but one thing I now know is that since I have been sharing some of my story, I have been meeting many nurses who are also bipolar, and also many physicians as well. We are not alone! I think it is great that there is support on this site for each other. . . annmarie

good points, but before we diagnose and discourage him online, hence my recommendation that he should get a letter from his psychiatrist stating he is stable on meds and able to take on the stress of nursing school - and if not, to defer until able. An undertaking like nursing school will need a team approach for someone with bipolar disorder: a good support system including family (if possible, or SO), a good psychiatrist, counselor, assistance from the school for having a disability as he will need some extra support. I think I mentioned this in the previous email. . . There are many nurses and physicians with mental and physical disabilities (as well as other famous people) who have not let their handicaps hold them back from being successful. But support - and encouragement - is essential. annmarie

Dear Elanthil, I am a FNP, and currently in school for my DrNP. Over the years I have worked with many male nurses. One of my classmates in the DrNP program is male. He is currently a stay at home Dad because he has a disability ( he was an OR nurse, but his wrist kept breaking for unknown reasons), so he decided to pursue his doctorate to prepare for a job outside the OR. Where there is a will there is a way. There are many jobs in nursing that do not require physical labor. Many nurses find jobs in education, research, administration, or management, and of course, psychiatry. If you choose a school for nursing, choose one that will assist you with your disabilities. There is grant money available for nursing education and for people with disabilities. All you need to do is search for it, or talk to an advisor. There are nurses who complete their education in wheelchairs. If you are bipolar that is not a reason not to work or go to school. But you need to have enough insight ( it appears you do) to know that you need to be adherent on your medications to be stable. You need to have a good relationship with a psychiatrist who can vouch for your stability, adherence to medications, lack of suicide attempts or hospitalizations, and who can state that you are stable enough to attend nursing school. I think if you can such a letter, you will be alright. If you are not stable enough on medications - this may not be the right time for you to take on the stress of nursing school. It will be stressful. Just FYI - I was recently diagnosed as bipolar II at age 56, and am doing much better on my med regimen. Prior to this, I had trouble concentrating and never slept. Even so - I have a master's in nursing and am now working on my doctorate. I believe you can do it if you can tame the bipolar beast with medications, and make peace with the stability and calmness of being medicated. Being bipolar - we miss the excitement of mania. If you get a chance, read 'An Unquiet Mind' by Kay Redfied Jamison', she is a well known psychiatrist and expert in bipolar disorder and director of the mood disorder clinic at Johns Hopkins, she also has bipolar I disorder. A brave woman. best to you, annmarie

hi there, it seems there are two different issues being discussed - one is bringing a bad attitude to work (and I agree with normajean, as nurses and professionals, we need to set the tone and the example of being positive, and continue to be the best we can be, even on bad days - because as the saying goes, it all trickles down, especially if you are teaching or being an example for new nurses!) The second issue being discussed is a nurse who is not 'getting it' - or perhaps being enabled in some way to be helpless. A nurse educator colleague of mine discussed this issue in class, of a new nurse who consistantly did not learn how to do IV insertions, and was having the other nurses do it for her ( for a whole year!!) Half of the problem was that the other nurses were enabling her, and the other half is that the new nurse was not taking ownership of learning how to do it for herself. A situation like that needs to be addressed and rectified - quickly. If the nurse is truly incompetent - she may need to look for another line of work. If the issue is lack of confidence or high anxiety levels - that can be addressed by a positive mentoring partner for a period of time to help this nurse gain the skills she lacks. But it needs to have a set time, and a goal, it can't drag on for months and months. I see this as a different issue than new nurses who may be asking a question several times because they are newbies, and overwhelmed with an avalanche of new information. Let's face, we have all been there and done that. We should be kind to those who follow in our footsteps! We have all been the 'novice to expert' many times over in our careers, and if we keep learning and growing, it continues to be a revolving door, and that feeling of being a novice should keep us just a little humble! JMHO Annmarie

So - what is the solution? Should more nurses be in Administrative positions? Executive and CFO positions? Should more nurses be politically active, and lobbying in Washington to make ourselves heard? Has anyone written any articles about any of these thoughts and issues? Just some ideas stewing around. . . am

Honestly is the best policy. If you are having a physical, put your medications down as you usually do. If you are drug tested, lamictal and depakote are not going to be an issue, but klonopin will show up as a benzodiazepam, so better to write it down, and if drug tested, all you need to do is bring the bottle, or prescription in when you have the test. There are many people legitimately on narcotics and benzos. It does not keep you from working as a nurse. I had to be drug tested for a clinical last summer right after having a molar pulled, and 3 teeth implanted, and had a urine drug test while on a narcotic pain killer. I just had to show the prescription bottle to the lab, that's all, to show it was legit. But lying about it may prevent you from working if found out that you lied on your application. Having a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, taking medications, and being under the care of a psychiatrist, and under good control, is no reason not to work or go to school. In fact, it shows that you are dependable and trustworthy. With Obama's new health care reform laws against insurance companies preventing recinding insurance policies for pre-existing conditions, you are even more protected now when you go for a job later on. Things are happily changing as bipolar disorder becomes more in the public eye, hopefully it will be as well know as autism is soon. best of luck and keep us all posted on your adventures in school! Annmarie