Not-so-friendly coworker..how do you deal with it?

Nurses Relations

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Specializes in ASC, Infection Control.

I've worked at large LTC facilities before (4 of them) and have dealt with many, many, MANY catty and double-faced women. I learned through those experiences not to trust coworkers, not to talk to them about anything personal, and to keep all opinions & thoughts to myself.

However, I am now working in a much smaller facility (the nursing staff I work with is less than 20 girls) and they all consider themselves family, and are friends outside of work. I was really excited to be in this type of environment and really enjoy the job and the people I work with. Everyone is so nice, non-******, and unbelievably pretty much ZERO gossip. Crazy!

But - there is one girl who seems to not care for me, and is the only one who doesn't always say "hi" to me when I do to her and acts, most of the time, like I'm insignificant. I don't know if it's just because I'm the new girl and they are all so tight-knit, so that's just how she is with new ones? Or if it's something about me specifically.

Normally, I wouldn't really care - especially if it was a bigger facility, because I just always kept to myself, got my work done, and got the hell outta there. But it's much different here.

So how do you deal with this kind of situation? Should I extend the same behavior to her or keep on doing what I'm doing and hope she comes around? Should I just stay out of her way? I'm always asking the girls if they need help or if there's anything I can do for them, maybe I'm just being annoying? WOW this post makes me sound really lame! haha But I'd appreciate any feedback. For whatever reason it's just been bugging me. Thanks :D

I would leave her alone and focus on my work.

Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

Geez. Maybe she is just very shy or quiet. Is she treating you significantly differently from everyone else? If it bothers you so much, ask her about it instead of assuming the worst.

Is it just me? It seems like people these days think work is for making BFFs. I get along fine with the people I work with, but I don't look to work to satisfy my social needs.

Specializes in Acute Mental Health.

I would keep doing what your doing and be yourself. People like that usually come around. I worked in a small ltc for about a year and it took me a long time to be accepted by a coworker. I just figured you can't please them all and was just me. Turns out, they were so used to people coming and going that she never wanted to reach out and find out she would be stuck with an extra 22 pts because the newbie quit. When I did quit, I gave adequate notice so it wouldn't fall back on her. We were never really close, but she did come to say 'hi and by' to me.

I agree, don't react to her negativity. Just continue to be pleasant and do your work, don't even give her the satisfaction of getting under your skin. Good luck :)

Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion.

moved to our nurse colleague / patient relations forum.

Specializes in ASC, Infection Control.
Geez. Maybe she is just very shy or quiet. Is she treating you significantly differently from everyone else? If it bothers you so much, ask her about it instead of assuming the worst.

Is it just me? It seems like people these days think work is for making BFFs. I get along fine with the people I work with, but I don't look to work to satisfy my social needs.

You know, you're probably right about the making BFF's comment. My soon-to-be-husband (in 2 days!) and I just moved here, and we don't know anyone, and our social life needs a boost. That's my problem! I'm such a people pleaser too - I always want everyone to like me. Maybe I will just ask her though. Thanks.

Agree with above. Just be yourself. It's really strange because being a man I'm usually very popular where I work. It blows my mind the number of women I've worked with that will openly say how much they hate working with women. I currently work with all women and the boss says she'd hire all men if she could because women are too catty, too personal, and too "clique-y". Personally, I think that's a little sexist, but as a gender outsider I do see some of that. I say keep it friendly and not overly personal and just don't sweat it.

I've worked at large LTC facilities before (4 of them) and have dealt with many, many, MANY catty and double-faced women. I learned through those experiences not to trust coworkers, not to talk to them about anything personal, and to keep all opinions & thoughts to myself.

However, I am now working in a much smaller facility (the nursing staff I work with is less than 20 girls) and they all consider themselves family, and are friends outside of work. I was really excited to be in this type of environment and really enjoy the job and the people I work with. Everyone is so nice, non-******, and unbelievably pretty much ZERO gossip. Crazy!

But - there is one girl who seems to not care for me, and is the only one who doesn't always say "hi" to me when I do to her and acts, most of the time, like I'm insignificant. I don't know if it's just because I'm the new girl and they are all so tight-knit, so that's just how she is with new ones? Or if it's something about me specifically.

Normally, I wouldn't really care - especially if it was a bigger facility, because I just always kept to myself, got my work done, and got the hell outta there. But it's much different here.

So how do you deal with this kind of situation? Should I extend the same behavior to her or keep on doing what I'm doing and hope she comes around? Should I just stay out of her way? I'm always asking the girls if they need help or if there's anything I can do for them, maybe I'm just being annoying? WOW this post makes me sound really lame! haha But I'd appreciate any feedback. For whatever reason it's just been bugging me. Thanks :D

y do you even care? i rarely say hi to co-workers or chit chat with them. I will ask if they need help, if i am by some miracle, all caught up, i will help when needed, and most of them do the same if asked. We don't need to wave and talk about the weather everytime i pass them in the hall. Maybe it has nothing to do with you or maybe it does.

I think it's fantastic that the rest of your coworkers are so great, that will make her behavior easier to deal with. Since you don't know her it's impossible to really know what her deal is, don't spend too much time worrying about it or trying to change it. It often helps to just stay away from people that make you feel like that.

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