Not everyone cut out for nursing.

Love-A-Nurse · Nov 28, 2003

i have seen many threads reflecting people who are having doubts and are in need of encouragement. is there wisdom in telling students that to try harder and never give up when in fact nursing may not be the career that they should be in anyway."

your statement that i have highlighted is two-fold. first, yes there is wisdom to relay to keep thriving because obtaining a degree in this field is demanding and exhausting to most if not all students. there is nothing wrong with giving people encouragement to endure.

secondly, if someone says that this is not for them, i see no valild reasons to pressure them to hanging on.

your latter post may be seen as venting and nothing more to one and to another the reaction would be to find another field to capitalize on for your livelihood.

i know what to expect in general with nursing although i have a need to ponder and feel so consumed with lectures, clinical, etc to say, i need a boost to endure to the end.

rncopper · Nov 28, 2003

I think you bring up a valid point(s).

I have read here on this forum from nursing students who: have failed the NCLEX once and sometimes twice, who are doubting whether they even LIKE what they are doing/studying, etc. They same goes for some of the new grads, and, YES, some of us older nurses!

I have "bit my tongue"! I have wanted to say, and not really in a mean way, but a "let's take a look at this honestly" way: Maybe you really shouldn't continue; maybe you should look for a career in something else; maybe nursing is not for you.

When I was in school, those that really got down, that were struggling to get thru school: they either never made it, didn't pass their NCLEX, or stopped nursing within a year or two.

I read a study a couple of years ago concerning new grads. After 6 months on the job (they passed the NCLEX), around 60% said they would not be a nurse in 1 year!!!! Most of them said they really questioned themselves whether they liked nursing while they were in school; others stated that they just barely skated by or had to take the NCLEX 2 or more times.

I am not suggesting that the posters who have vented should be included in this category. I am not suggesting that ALL people who have a really hard time in school or who take 2 or more times to pass the NCLEX are included in this category.

But, just because someone gets into nursing school; just because someone finally passes the NCLEX after a couple of tries(or never passes the NCLEX); just because they have spent all this money to go to school and get RN behind their name: if they are unhappy and REALLY (and I don't mean the occasional questioning) question whether they want to be a nurse or continue being a nurse or continue to try and pass: maybe they should really sit down and look at what they are, where they are, what makes them happy/unhappy, why do they want to do what they are doing.

If they answer TRULY in their heart and mind: Yes, I really want to be a nurse. I want to do it for me! Not for my Mom, Dad, kids, husband, not because I have spent all this money, not because I am supposed to: THEN GO FOR IT!!!!

If you really can't say you are doing it for yourself: then think about why you are doing what you are doing.

For those of you who want to do it for YOU: KEEP ON TRUCKIN"!!!!

For those of you who end up saying, Well, no I really don't want to do this: WELL, KEEP ON TRUCKIN'!!!!!

Good Luck to all of you in what ever you decide! We should all support whatever your decision is.

Altra, BSN, RN · Nov 28, 2003

You bring up some interesting points ... but I think it's usually not hard to spot someone who's just struggling "right now" with studies and/or with their career vs. someone who is clearly not in the right place. People who are just having a tough time at the moment need support to stay on track. Those who are finding that pursuing nursing is draining them of their positive energy because it's not a good intellectual/emotional fit for them may need a nudge to consider other alternatives.

PS - I'm not sure there is such a thing as a "peaches & cream" profession. All are different, and some are more physically and emotionally demanding than others, that's for sure. But any career, or anything for that matter, that you put your heart into, will be draining at times. As my dad has always said, "If it was easy, everyone would do it." Is there anything in life that's "easy," but still fulfilling over the long haul?

Leigh

twarlik · Nov 28, 2003

I can totally understand where you're coming from. I was thinking the same thing while reading a recent thread, but it reminded me of something a professor once told me. See, in my "past life" I was a musician. A professor once told me that he believed it wasn't his job to discourage or encourage someone to pursue a career in music. It was his job to give the person the tools and knowledge to make the decision for themselves.

I would never actively discourage someone from going after their dream. If they want to be nurse, who am I to tell them not to? If someone really wants something, they will go after it no matter what obstacles lie in their way. If it's not meant to be then they'll find something else.

The fact is, most of us don't know anyone on this board beyond what they say in their posts and in their profile. This usually doesn't tell us much about that person. Lord knows I'd hate to think people were judging me based only on what I've posted on allnurses.com! People come here looking for encouragement when they're feeling down, so I don't really see any harm in offering it. If they're not meant to be a nurse, then no amount of encouragement from the nice folks here will change the situation.

ava'smomRN · Nov 29, 2003

i think no matter what you tell a person good or bad if they really know they want a specific career or anything in life they will work to achieve it. opinions stop really mattering at some point and i think people rather seek assurance

LauraLou · Nov 29, 2003

There are a lot of people who are not cut out for nursing. I see people at school that I do not think are going to make it into/thru the nursing program, but I don't feel it is my place to tell them that. There is nothing worse than unasked for negative feedback and I could be wrong. If someone isn't meant to be a nurse, that is something they will have to realize on their own. All I can do is be supportive of whatever choice they make.

michele-gomez · Nov 29, 2003

I think what it all boils down to is knowing what you want. Generally when your in college we change our major plenty. When it comes to nursing we have to take in consideration that ths is a intense program your not gonna just skip on through. In all careers and roads to success it gets rough. Some times the ones that struggle are the best in the end. If your not happy you change your course but before changing your plan make sure your changing because you dont enjoy it never change because its to much work because that stress and overload your feeling in school is preparing you for the real thing and it always pays off in the end because we all want to be the best at what we do. I enjoy working with people taking care of them not to mention the pay is great but at the end of the day im happy with my career. Weather that day was stressful or not at least one patient change the course of that day and i look forward that that one patient everyday. Its a reminder when you finish it all and you go to work one day and you teach someone something or your able to make achild smile or pt speak or eat you have just made a change and it all pays off one way or another. Just always do it for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11:) :)

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Nov 29, 2003

Seems like there are so many people (instructors included, unfortunately) who seem to discourage us, or who make our lives harder than they need to be to get the job done, that many good people who would make good nurses give up because it's not worth putting up with all the crap.

So the other side of the coin is people like me/us, who encourage, support and applaud, and maybe that balances out the garbage that seems to go along with learning to be nurses.

I doubt that you could successfully encourage someone to stay in a field they didn't want to be in.....

Just a thought

rncopper · Nov 29, 2003

I have been interested in reading the responses to this thread. I actually thought I would have been "tarred and feather" after my especially long reply!

Giving support to someone who is having the occasional "I don't think I can do this" time, the "I flunked one test" time, "Is it really this hard?" time is VERY SUPPORTIVE!!!

But, not everyone is cut out to be a nurse. Whether it be because of personal reasons or because of educational reasons. I don't think just because someone "wants" to be a nurse, because someone "made" it thru nursing school, because they like "working with people", that it is necessarily something that can happen!

That is why there is the NCLEX. We have to take a national exam to see that we are prepared (though, I don't think that scoring high on the exam means one would be a "super" nurse) to be able to function at a rudimentary level. The real learning comes when we get on the job.

But there HAS to be a standard. If EVERYONE could be a nurse, it would be easy to obtain.

I still maintain that those that are having REAL difficulty, those that have failed NCLEX several times, those that are constantly questioning whether they should continue: maybe they should look deep inside themselves to see if this is really what they should be doing AT THIS TIME! If not, stop, reassess, plan, and then implement (gee, nursing process?). Maybe it is not in the cards right now. Nursing won't go away. Maybe in a couple of years, with more life experience, with more life confidence, those people will be able to succeed.

I really wish for people that they can achieve their dream. But, sometimes dreams are unreachable, sometimes dreams are unrealistic. I would hate to tell someone who might have an unrealistic dream to keep going.

I REALLY do send good vibes to those that are having trouble. I REALLY do wish that EVERYONE gets that goal they have set for themselves. And, as someone pointed out, we don't necessarily "know" the posters here, their life, what they are about, what is really going on in their lives. So, giving blanket encouragement MAY not be in their best interest.

Like I said before, for those of you questioning/having trouble: I SUPPORT YOU IN WHAT EVER YOU DECIDE TO DO!

(disclaimer: this is only my humble opinion)

chris_at_lucas_RN, RN · Nov 29, 2003

You are absolutely right--not everyone is cut out to be a nurse.

It's a different world now than it was 10 years ago, or certainly 55 years ago when my mom graduated and passed her boards.

There's a lot better understanding of the need to be able to function in a technologically sound environment, and to be able to communicate (written AND oral) in order to give patients (eventually US probably!), if not the best care, then at least very good care.

I'm not sure I would want the bar lowered....

Just MHO also.....