Non-student friends....

Sarah Kat · Dec 29, 2003

Originally posted by rn_in_05
It's too bad that there are so many people out there who can only feel good when they're making someone else feel bad. It's their problem, not ours. (unless we let it be) Life is too short & we've all fought too hard to get where we are. We can't let unhappy, negative people suck our energy away.
Spouses are a whole different ballgame. I don't pretend to know what to say except to talk, talk, talk. And listen.

I second that! All of that!

And for the hubby part... I guess I will get to that soon, as I am starting school in Jan. It probably won't be much of a problem, though since he's a video game addict! The only problem is until I get my laptop fixed (darn DVD/CDROM drive is only playing DVDs) we will have to share the desktop... that could cause some strife (guess I will need to get him a new Playstation 2 game to get him off the 'puter). :roll

Really, though, I think rn_in_05 is right, communication is the key. And I think it's important to take time out and have date nights (maybe on a weekend) where you forget all about nursing school and focus on your marriage.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Dec 29, 2003

Originally posted by Sari_noel
Here we go.....another vent.....

Does anyone else have "that friend"? The one who never went to college, doesn't understand the time it takes, how tired you are after the toughest semester of your life?? The one who wants you to go the the bar/club every weekend? The one who says "everyone goes to nursing school!! "

You just describe the guy i was dating this time LAST year. He is now a part of the ex-files.

stressgal, RN · Dec 29, 2003

Boy, the stories I could tell on this subject.

In regards to the origional post, this is a problem that you need to resolve within yourself and soon. You spoke of your boyfriend's sister as one who puts down your accomplishments, I too have been in this situation. People can be avoided, in laws can't. You need to develop a tough skin where this gal is concerned if you intend on advancing the relationship with your boyfriend. My husband's sister is very jealous and competitive of him, but the snide remarks and backhanded compliments are tossed in my direction. I can handle it, after many years of practiced smiles and realizing that it will never change. I am always looking for how situations are learning experiences and have found that I can handle anyone (coworkers, fellow students, etc) who acts in that manner. There is one gal at my part time job who doesn't like me and as I told a supervisor who sees the problem I am not there to become this girls friend, I am there to take care of the residents and do my job. I'm lucky to have plenty of good friends, and if you think about it during school you continue to meet new people, and these people have more in common with you as the person you are now and the person you will come to be. Stand tall!

AmyLiz · Dec 29, 2003

I guess I'm lucky in that I do not have anyone trying to undermine my academic pursuits. Of course, it may help that I'm in my 30's and the majority of my friends are as well and have families and/or careers of their own. I have always had a tendancy to surround myself with people who have similar goals in life as I do (stable family/career/home/etc), and I never really had any desire to slack off and "party" every weekend. (My best friend's mother always told us we were born at 40 :chuckle )

It's hard to lose friends, but it's a part of life. I had tons of friends in high school...now I only have a select few that I keep in touch with. Priorities change, interestes change...it's a part of life. I have never ended friendships, but I have drifted apart from people. And it is sad to not have certain people in your life that were there before. Someday they may return to your life (which is why I never end friendships), and that's great. Then again, they may never return to your life again. I try not to mourn for friends who are no longer a large part of my life, I try to look back and enjoy the memories and realize that we were in each others lives when we needed each others friendship. :)

Luv2banurse2004 · Dec 29, 2003

I've had my share of "toxic" friends who due to their own station in life wish to dump thieir negative, toxic feelings onto me about my decision to go to school for nursing. One has only worked low-scale jobs and made a negative comment to me in an indirect way and the other once she found out I was in school, begin feverishly trying to get her husband to agree to her going to school--he refused and she dropped the subject but it seems the animosity and jealousy are projected towards me (she hardly even wants to speak now).

I've just decided not to share this experience with these people because they obviously have their own issues and won't be able to add anything positive. You'll find at least one cheerleader even if it is a fellow classmate, that will keep you motivated.

BELLE0924 · Dec 29, 2003

Right now I think it is important to surround yourself with people who support you. Nursing school is stressful enough without the extra baggage. Try talking to your friend(AGAIN), let her know how important this is to you, and that either she supports you, or you will have to seperate yourself from her.. Good Luck...

Sari_noel · Dec 31, 2003

Thanks for the advice... I just found out I get to spend the weekend at my boyfriends sister's house...Oh boy!! I will try to just ignore the comments... on the subject of my "friend" I start school in two weeks.... so I guess I'll be to busy to talk too often. I have made a few good friends at school, so I'll just have to spend more time with them (at least they understand)!!

Nia · Dec 31, 2003

Ohh...good luck with the weekend...try not to let her get to you...(Yeah, 'cause me saying it helps, I know :rolleyes: )

Just be glad it's your boyfriend's sister and not your boyfriend! I too had one of those. He hated that I spent so much time on school, and was so tired when he saw me. Started to get insulting, claiming that it couldn't really be all that hard, etc.

Apparently he felt so very neglected and "underappreciated" that he had to go looking elsewhere for "companionship"...which sent him very quickly to the land of the exes.