New nurse & soon to be first time mom.. mental health being affected majorly. Help!

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Hey nurses. I’m struggling. I am a new nurse on medsurg with 6 patients. I am about to be off orientation and already my anxiety is 10/10 every day at work and I dread going back to work DAYS before the shift even starts. I feel my mental health is being affected very negatively. I know many of you know this feeling and I have heard “it gets better” and to give it a year. I would just grind it out, or try, but I am also about to be a new mom in 3 months time and I honestly am having even more anxiety thinking of going back to this work stress + the new stress of having a newborn baby and no family where we live. I am contemplating working up until due date but quitting before I have to go back after maternity leave. I am also in a contract but have *heard* it’s not enforceable where I live. Even if it is, I am about to give them their money and leave. My husband is amazing and in no way is this a bash, but he just doesn’t understand the stress of a nurse and it doesn’t make any sense to him why I wouldn’t go back after Maternity leave and he is upset at me even bringing it up. Need advice. I feel so stuck. SO stuck. ? Please help. 

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Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.

Is the job market OK where you live? As in could you find a less stressful job when you're ready to come back to work after baby is here? And if you quit soon and then it took a bit of time to find the right job later, or you wanted to stay home with baby a bit longer, does your husband's job cover your family financially enough that living on one income temporarily would be possible? If all of those are yes I might say quit soon, relax, give birth, adjust to being a mom, then find a new job that's compatible with your new life as a mom.

Tons of stress in last trimester doesn't sound good. I'm not an OB nurse at all, but one coworker told me she thinks the stress of floor nursing caused her premature labor. Maybe some OB nurses can weigh in = ) Sorry that your job is so stressful, I know the feeling and the feeling of anxiety about going back on days off and it sucks. Good luck!

 

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Specializes in NICU/Mother-Baby/Peds/Mgmt.

Yes, stress can absolutely bring on PTL, as well as other physical problems.  Do you have EAP at your work, have you tried talking to them?  I would suggest if you can do it financially that you think about quitting, no use being miserable your last three months which are already going to be hard enough. Have you tried talking to your supervisor about this? She/he might have some words of wisdom to help you through this. 

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@LibraNurse27 the job market is good, I’m in Las Vegas. Financially my husband makes just enough to cover the bills and a little extra. He is very stressed at the idea of me quitting my current workplace, and I’m very stressed at the idea of staying there. I called my doctor regarding my major anxiety and depression-like symptoms revolving around work and she actually got me in today. I have also ONLY been having Braxton Hicks contractions when at work.. so IDK. We will see what she says. I plan on working till due date but I really hope my spirit can make it till then. Husband is OK with me going part time after maternity leave which I think could help take a big chunk of the stress out— as you probably know, full time is a lot harder then part time! If I could do part time and fulfill my contract (till September 2022 ??) I would have a strong resume to really open so many doors for me as an RN. Thanks so much for your response and encouragement and for listening to my rambles. ?

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@Nunya I know, I barely feel like I’ll make it till my due date/another 3 months working full time there. My doctor got me in today for an appointment after I told her about my mental state so I am curious to see what she says and recommends. Are you an OB nurse? I had also messaged her because only at work have I been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions; I know they are harmless but I was worried that they only occur at work. 
I set up a meeting with my manager Thursday morning, I am nervous to talk with her and don’t know exactly how to go about talking with her. I plan on talking to her about leave and then asking if I can come back after leave part time; if she says no I will most likely consider quitting but I don’t want to give her an ultimatum vibe. I have worked at the same hospital and unit since 2014 (I was a CNA before becoming a nurse this year) and I’m hoping that gives me some credit. Thanks so much for your reply. 

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Put out feelers for something part time in the outpatient setting. 

23 minutes ago, Swirl531 said:

@Nunya I know, I barely feel like I’ll make it till my due date/another 3 months working full time there. My doctor got me in today for an appointment after I told her about my mental state so I am curious to see what she says and recommends. Are you an OB nurse? I had also messaged her because only at work have I been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions; I know they are harmless but I was worried that they only occur at work. 
I set up a meeting with my manager Thursday morning, I am nervous to talk with her and don’t know exactly how to go about talking with her. I plan on talking to her about leave and then asking if I can come back after leave part time; if she says no I will most likely consider quitting but I don’t want to give her an ultimatum vibe. I have worked at the same hospital and unit since 2014 (I was a CNA before becoming a nurse this year) and I’m hoping that gives me some credit. Thanks so much for your reply. 

Braxton Hicks can be brought on by dehydration very commonly - which most of us tremendously are when working the floor.

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Specializes in Physiology, CM, consulting, nsg edu, LNC, COB.

1) Find out from an informed source as to whether that contract is, in fact, enforceable. "My sister-in-law says" or "The last travel nurse we had here told me" are not current or informed. Find out and get that off your list of things to worry about.

2) Absolutely think about a different setting. There are MANY different ways to be a nurse-- they aren't all in inpatient hospital work by far. Wander over to the other specialty areas on AN and ask around.

3) You didn't mention COVID in your list of worries, but we hereby give you permission to play that card at work regarding going back after you have the baby.

4) Breastfeeding releases a lot of wonderful hormones that will help calm you down. It's lovely. Get ready now by consulting a real nurse lactation consultant so you won't be doing it when you are stressed by having the baby and tempted seriously to give it a bottle. Trust me on this one.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I wanted to come back and add - If you and your husband had an agreement about you working before this, you owe it to him to do everything you can to live up to your side of that. There is a lot in your story that is unknown for all of us here. I hope you find a good solution.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/my-wife-had-a-baby-in-June-she-has-140000-in-student-loans-and-has-now-asked-for-my-blessing-to-work-part-time-2020-09-24?mod=article_inline

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