So, I'm a New Grad RN working in Critical Care. I feel so overwhelmed and today was the first day I left
work and cried all the way home.
The Unit Secretary and some (but fortunately not all) of the other staff RN's are putting me
through the ringer! WHY?!?! Today the Unit Secretary was yelling at me because I was
using the "small box" method to interpret an EKG strip. She told me I was wrong not to use the
300, 150,... method. Why does she care which method I use? Other staff RN's won't even acknowledge me
when I say hello. I am making every attempt to be polite to everyone even if they are being nasty back.
I'm not sure what to do or how to break through to these nurses. I always offer to help my team and ask questions
when I am unsure of something. I make it a point to thank each person that offers help to me in return. I don't want to rock the boat as the "new" person, but I also don't want to be a doormat.
Don't loose hope! For some terrible reason this is normal, almost all of us have gone through something similar and I can remember crying in the bathroom day 3 after being reamed by the DON... but I can bet you it wont last long.
Don't let their poor character hinder your experience, try to focus on the positive parts of your day. Some people are just set in their ways and burnt out, keep up your team attitude it will pay off eventually. From my experience the first year is rough for many reasons but after a bit of time and mastery things really turn around :)
Take care of yourself and get enough sleep. Stand up for yourself in a professional way and don't let people get under your skin.
So, I'm a New Grad RN working in Critical Care. I feel so overwhelmed and today was the first day I left
work and cried all the way home.
The Unit Secretary and some (but fortunately not all) of the other staff RN's are putting me
through the ringer! WHY?!?! Today the Unit Secretary was yelling at me because I was
using the "small box" method to interpret an EKG strip. She told me I was wrong not to use the
300, 150,... method. Why does she care which method I use? Other staff RN's won't even acknowledge me
when I say hello. I am making every attempt to be polite to everyone even if they are being nasty back.
I'm not sure what to do or how to break through to these nurses. I always offer to help my team and ask questions
when I am unsure of something. I make it a point to thank each person that offers help to me in return. I don't want to rock the boat as the "new" person, but I also don't want to be a doormat.
Please help!
What I do is just ignore everyone for the most part. There are a few I will say hello to. Most people don't even do this on my unit. many nurses don't really talk to anyone even to say hello so I don't take it personally. i am not there to make friends and chit chat either. There are a few people I will seek if I need help if they are not around I will just ask anyone if I have to or the charge nurse. I offer to help others turn/repo change pts etc if I have time so they can help me. Why do you have to break through to anyone. How are you being a doormat?
What I do is just ignore everyone for the most part. There are a few I will say hello to. Most people don't even do this on my unit. many nurses don't really talk to anyone even to say hello so I don't take it personally. i am not there to make friends and chit chat either. There are a few people I will seek if I need help if they are not around I will just ask anyone if I have to or the charge nurse. I offer to help others turn/repo change pts etc if I have time so they can help me. Why do you have to break through to anyone. How are you being a doormat?
I guess the feeling of wanting to break through to someone is because I want to have a work environment
that I actually enjoy being in. We as nurses spend alot of time with each other. It would just be nice to be able
to go to work feeling comfortable and at ease, not just "existing" or "tolerating" each other. I help people on my unit because I truly want to be part of the team effort, not because I feel I have to scratch people's back, so they'll scratch mine.
In terms of being a doormat, I just meant that although I don't want to rock the boat at work as the new person, I also know that I need to stand up for myself when the situation arises. Otherwise the bullies will think it's acceptable to treat me that way all the time. There is a fine line between both.
Do you not have a preceptor? Questions should be addressed to them first, unless they also don't know the answer. And I might discuss with that person not feeling so welcome, maybe some of these people are just like that on a regular basis.
Also I don't think it's any of the unit secretary's concern what method you use to interpret strips. If the other NURSES thought you should use the other method then fine, but it's not her business to say jack to you about strips. I'd have told her "okay, thank you" and continued to do whatever I felt was best. I'm not saying be rude to her, because your staff can make you or break you, but why is it any of her ******* business?
as you get to be a "seasoned" nurse you will learn to adapt your personality to theirs. ex., i started a new job in a ltc facility and a cna comes up to me and asks "where is your name tag" , it was on my jacket, which was tied around my waist. ( i was passing meds ) i knew this was a "catty" question. when the cna comes back she ask me "what is your name", i looked at her as flatly as i could and asked her if there was something i could help her with or something she needed from me in a curtious but flat voice and put my snake eyes on.
some people say "others can make you or break you". this was bs, as a nurse you have to learn to do your job with very little help from others and use all your knowledge to cya. the people that are being malicious to you don't deserve your nice,helpful,attitude. and in my experience it won't earn you their respect. it's the "eye for an eye" quote out of the bible that helped me. you are not there to make new friends, you are there to do a job. this isn't high school anymore, there are no cool kids. these nurses who are treating you this way learned it from nurses treating them like crap when they were new nurses. focus on your nursing skills, not the rest of the staff on your unit. .....as for that unit secretary, or anyone else in the future that isn't licensed staff and they are telling you how to do your job... stand there and listen to their rant, then put a smile and your face and turn the tables on them, start asking them questions about different procedures, where they went to school at, etc... embarass them!!
trust me they won't bother you again and they will be the ones crying on their way home!!
don't take any crap from these people or you will forever be their scapegoat and doormat! you put alot of time and effort into becoming a nurse, don't let other people ruin it for you! pull your shoulders back and put your chin up, you can do it!!
first off, i am really sorry you are having to go through all this. nursing is stressful enough without the nitpicky backbiting that always goes on. i don't know if backstabbing and gossip is just a woman thing or not. i can only speak from my own experience and point of view.
second, please take comfort in knowing that it is not you. don't take any of it personal. and i promise you that it is also not inexperience, youth, enthusiam, your hair color, or whatever "level" of nursing license you may or may not have. (that old cna vs lpn vs rn vs bsn beating of a dead horse...insert eye roll here...lol)
sadly the pain you are going through happens all the time whenever someone new starts a job. it is normal. it is not a reflection on you. being the new kid on the block is terrible, and some places are worse than others.
look for the rainbows instead of the storm clouds. granted it can be v-e-r-y difficult sometimes and espically in small units. there will always be some people in any new job that are supportive and encouraging (and god bless them ten thousand times over) and some who are excellent teachers and preceptors.
but even the garden of eden had a snake in it...:uhoh21:
....so no matter where you go in life, there will be some people who act like little pit bulls ready to bite your head off and others who will smile to your face while they stab you in the back. (those are the really the worst to me)
be encouraged. even fine wines start out as crushed grapes but you can overcome this and you will do just fine. learn from those who want to teach and overlook those who make it difficult. most of all don't take it personally and remember how rough it can be when someone new starts to work in your area after you are no longer the new kid on the block.
So, I'm a New Grad RN working in Critical Care. I feel so overwhelmed and today was the first day I left
work and cried all the way home.
The Unit Secretary and some (but fortunately not all) of the other staff RN's are putting me
through the ringer! WHY?!?! Today the Unit Secretary was yelling at me because I was
using the "small box" method to interpret an EKG strip. She told me I was wrong not to use the
300, 150,... method. Why does she care which method I use? Other staff RN's won't even acknowledge me
when I say hello. I am making every attempt to be polite to everyone even if they are being nasty back.
I'm not sure what to do or how to break through to these nurses. I always offer to help my team and ask questions
when I am unsure of something. I make it a point to thank each person that offers help to me in return. I don't want to rock the boat as the "new" person, but I also don't want to be a doormat.
Please help!
I'm so sorry you have to deal with people like this. Try to take some comfort in knowing that almost every new grad goes through something similar, so it's not just you. I am not an RN yet (I start school this fall), but I've had enough experience in life to know that this happens everywhere, and not just to nurses. Unfortuantely, I've had to deal with the same issue almost every time I've started a new job, so I've tried a lot of different tactics and have continually found one in particular to work best amongst all others. I've tried "killing people with kindness" no matter how they've treat me, and I can tell you this DOES NOT generally end happily. These bullies see that you're an easy target, and will continue because it makes them feel better about themselves. Eventually, they will wear you down and you will either quit or lash out, neither of which you want.
You need to be respectful and show your desire to learn from their experience, but be firm in conveying that you will not be abused or disrespected. The next time the unit secretary criticizes your methods in front of others, do not get emotional, but tell her flatly that if she wishes to give unwanted advice, she needs to be a professional and talk to you in a private setting. Then turn your back and do your job. She will be embarrassed that you've turned it around on her, and will next time think twice about the way she talks to you. All you can do is prove that you ARE a good nurse and WANT to be a team player, and eventually, they will realize that you aren't going anywhere and open up. As another poster mentioned earlier, some aren't willing to make an investment in someone until you gain their trust and convince them that you are in this for the long haul. Show some pride in yourself and your abilities, and do NOT let them walk all over you. I hope things get better for you! :heartbeat
Hang in there. I have been a nurse for almost 15 years now and I think it happens everywhere. Take up for yourself, ;et them know you are tough. it will pass as soon as other nurses come & go.
BLJrn
1 Post
Don't loose hope! For some terrible reason this is normal, almost all of us have gone through something similar and I can remember crying in the bathroom day 3 after being reamed by the DON... but I can bet you it wont last long.
Don't let their poor character hinder your experience, try to focus on the positive parts of your day. Some people are just set in their ways and burnt out, keep up your team attitude it will pay off eventually. From my experience the first year is rough for many reasons but after a bit of time and mastery things really turn around :)
Take care of yourself and get enough sleep. Stand up for yourself in a professional way and don't let people get under your skin.