New Job: controlling preceptor

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So I recently started a new job (after working two years at my past job) a few weeks back in a new specialty area at a new hospital. While I admit I don't know everything and there is plenty I need to learn, my preceptor is treating me like I have never set foot in a hospital before. At first I was happy for everything she had to say because of working at a new hospital and in a new specialty, but these past few shifts have been almost unbearable. She admits that she likes everything done her way or no way at all and to be honest it has gotten to the point where I am just letting her do things because I know what I am doing will never be good enough for her and she will just want to redo it. For instance I did a dressing change on a PICC and because one steristip was slightly crooked she wanted it redone. The things I am "doing wrong" have nothing to do with care or patient safety. The things I am "doing wrong" are just not the exact way she likes them. Every shift I am staying over by almost an hour and a half because she will not give me time to chart or wants to completely review all charting done in the shift. When reviewing my charting, she will erase my notes and reword them just because she wants it to be her words even though both are saying the same thing. Not to mention whenever I do get a chance to chart she is hanging out and snacking so she "never wants a lunch break". I have gone plenty shifts getting five minutes for lunch with her telling me that I need to be back with our patients when there is a resource nurse that is taking care of them while we have a proper 30 minute break. I have talked to my manager and unfortunately there are not any other available preceptors due to a large amount of them on maternity leave or precepting other nurses. Any advice with dealing with an overbearing preceptor?

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

How much longer do you have with her? And, more importantly, have you stood up for yourself and let the preceptor know? Because without that (maybe in conference with the manager) nothing will change.

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My preceptor has realized what she is doing and apologized but continues to do the same thing. It is just her personality. Honestly, I don't think she should be a preceptor if she cannot let the preceptee actually do the work. My manager knows that she is like this but at this point there aren't very many options. I have two more weeks with her so 6 shifts and then on to nights.

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Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.
My preceptor has realized what she is doing and apologized but continues to do the same thing. It is just her personality. Honestly, I don't think she should be a preceptor if she cannot let the preceptee actually do the work. My manager knows that she is like this but at this point there aren't very many options. I have two more weeks with her so 6 shifts and then on to nights.

Habits are hard to break. Continue to gently point out when she is micromanaging- it's only two more weeks.

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Specializes in EMS, LTC, Sub-acute Rehab.

Have you communicated your feelings as directly as expressed on this forum to your preceptor? I getting an impression of 'no'. If you don't attempt to take this bull by the horns now, people will steam roll you for your entire career and you'll internalize things until you can't handle the stress. Distill your feelings down to some very specific talking points, reheorifice them a few times, then take your preceptor offline and explain your case.

You might want to consider her point of view and the people she has precepted in the past. She may be treating you the way she is from past lessons learned. She may also be a controlling A type, have no way to define herself outside of her vocation, have a mental condition such as OCD, or is just a miserable person with no happiness in her life. Try to find some common ground otherwise suck it up and drive on. Keep in mind, there is no shortage of people like this nursing, if anything, there is a surplus and you'll no doubt run into many like this throughout your entire career.

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I have been in this situation, it's unpleasant. Since you don't have much time left, I would let the clock run out and move on. There are a few things I would take issue with, especially since you're not a new nurse. Staying after for over an hour and a half is unreasonable if your charting is complete, your patients are safe and you're ready to leave. My manager would take issue with this, and since your preceptor has some insight, it's worth raising this point if you feel supported by management. "I don't mind conferencing after the shift for about twenty minutes. I look forward to our conversation!" When the time is up, thank her for her help and excuse yourself.

I have also worked with a preceptor who insisted rewording things; since then I have talked to other nurses who agreed this was controlling behavior and not necessary. The real issue I would have is her erasing your charting. If it happens again look straight at her and say "Please don't be offended, but I'm not comfortable with you erasing my documentation. You are welcome to add your own note." And finally, you need your lunch/bathroom break. As long as the timing is OK for the unit, the patients are safe, etc, let her know you are going and when you'll be back. She can remind or nag, I would just let that roll off your back. Especially if you have a resource nurse available. If she doesn't want to take her own break, that's her choice, but she can't extend that to you as well.

As another poster said, there are plenty of people like this in nursing. But, several of the issues you raise in this post quickly become management issues, so you have this on your side. You are not being the difficult new grad who says "I know I know EVERYTHING" two weeks in; you have been a nurse for several years and 1) staying over 90 minutes when not warranted and 2) being denied a lunch break routinely are black and white issues for HR.

In these situations it helps to be a broken record. You don't have to justify or explain yourself away, sometimes it comes off worse and gives the other party fuel to escalate. "Thank you for your help today, I'm off for the night." "I'm taking my lunch, I'll be back at 14:30." You can be firm and friendly without being difficult.

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With the staying over and not taking breaks, don't be like the new person who followed the observable "culture" (of leaving early in that particular case) and then wound up being let go for doing just that. Think things through and act in the manner that you think is appropriate for the long run, while counting down the hours until you are free of the preceptor.

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Specializes in Cardiac PCU, ER.

I just transferred to the ER myself from cardiac nursing.  I’m not new to practice & there is a steep learning curve in the ED.  I ask a lot of questions but I have 2 weeks left of a 5 week orientation.  My preceptor micromanages to the point of suffocation.  She is the type that can’t just chill & let me take a team.  I’m a safe nurse, but her hovering is making me very frustrated which she thinks it’s the job itself doing that.  It’s not, it’s her not letting have room to grow autonomy.  Tension is building & im trying to to suck it up for 6 more shifts.  I’ve advocated for myself many times to ask for different preceptors in order to gain a variety of points of view in this environment.  Didn’t happen.  My preceptor is very experienced & seems to be well like on the floor, but she’s unaware of how controlling she is.  I love to have someone watching me from the sidelines & be able to come to with questions, but don’t take over cause you can’t sit still or give me space.

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