New Grad Nurse needs advice please!

[ugadawg1696]

I graduated this past December with a MSN. I went through an accelerated nursing program to get my Masters degree in Nursing in 16 months (all I had previously was a Bachelor of Social Work). After having an incredible amount of info crammed into my head in 16 months I finally graduated. The last 4 months of nursing school I spent doing my practicum (400 hours in the ED). My preceptor during my practicum was not a very happy person in general, and was a terrible preceptor and not a very good overall example. I am a very nice person, too nice 99.9% of the time, and let her walk all over me. After my practicum ended, I was expecting to get a job at the hospital I had done my 400 hours of practicum at, but that didn't happen.

My dream has always been to work in the ED. I spent 5 months looking for a job. I applied to over 150 positions at numerous hospitals within a 100 mile radius of me (which was crazy but I became desperate), and applied to every RN job that I qualified for. The first 8 interviews I had I was turned down. I am a somewhat anxious person when I get around people I don't know, so I think I blew the first 8 interviews because I got nervous. The 9th interview was at a small hospital over an hour away from me (an ER mid shift position). I wound up getting the job, which I thought at the time was a blessing because I was desperate for a pay check at this point in time.

I am 2 weeks into the job (not counting the first week I did hospital orientation) and am already sick of the drive (116 miles a day), the hospital is not in the best part of town, and everybody I talk to asks me why the hell I'm not working at either of the 2 large hospitals less than 15 min from my house. I feel like I am a slow learner, and usually the orientation for a new grad in this hospital is 6 months, but the manager told me that since I am fresh out of school and clinicals and was in such a great nursing program that she thinks I will only need 2 months of orientation. Even my preceptor said that was too short, and she recommends at least 3 months of orientation. I have a problem of being too nice and letting people walk all over me, and I am afraid if they ask me to cut my orientation down that I will just agree to do so. I know I just need to grow some balls and stand up for myself, but if anyone has any advice on how to do this I would appreciate it more than you know.

Surprisingly, through all of my clinical rotations, I have never seen a code blue (cardiac/respiratory arrest) situation until yesterday. An old lady who ran head on into a tree was brought in and they were doing CPR on her. I wound up doing CPR on her for awhile, but we couldn't revive her. Her thumb had been cut off in the accident and was in a bag, I was asked to bandage up the piece of bone sticking out of her hand to make her presentable to her family. It was so sad and so hard to do. Her husband was driving home and saw her car wrapped around a tree, someone on the scene of the accident told him she was OK, so when he came to the hospital we had to break the news to him that we were doing CPR on her. He watched us try to revive her for 30 minutes, it was so heart breaking. I feel like I am going to be constantly worrying about my family and friends after seeing stuff like this. But hopefully it will be something I get used to, if that is even possible.

If anyone has any advice please share with me. It would be much appreciated. I am very stressed out right now and worried that I have taken on a job that is too much for me to handle. But maybe most new grads in the ER feel this way?

[dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN]

You're trying to do bedside nursing with a MSN?

[karamarie91]

I'm confused. I thought you have to have at least a BSN/ADN to work at the bedside.

[netglow, ASN, RN]

She's not an NP just an MSN. She has to work to learn like everybody else.

You know OP, you do need to get a handle on your situational shock. I think that this is true for all of us new/newer nurses, but more so for you in the ER. I'm going to give you advice never having worked in an ER myself but I am seeing this clearly, and the advice is to concentrate on your clinical training and shut out the "Oh, what the husband is going through" stuff from your mind. You are a nurse clinician first and foremost now. You are no longer a social worker. The job of social work will be handled by someone else now.

[dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN]

I'm confused. I thought you have to have at least a BSN/ADN to work at the bedside.

I'm assuming the OP is confused and got her BSN via an advanced program. Not a MSN.

[dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN]

I didn't realize that you could get a MSN in 16 months off a non-nursing degree. :/

[netglow, ASN, RN]

You sure can.

http://www.rushu.rush.edu/servlet/Satellite?c=RushUnivNews&cid=1209997102874&pagename=CollegeOfNursing%2FRushUnivNews%2FNews_Detail_Page

[BlueDevil,DNP, DNP, RN]

I spent 9 years in an ED. Yes, you will get used to it. you will see so much tragedy that it gets to be old hat after a while and you will be numb to it.

You need to practice the conversation where you say "I think I will stick to the original plan of 3 months orientation, but thanks for the vote of confidence." Repeat as necessary.

[beeker]

OP you need to stick it out at this job. You are getting sick of the drive? You are going to need to suck it up. Find a way to make it better or get a hotel room and work 3 back to backs. Make it work. The drive will suck, but you need the experience and need to learn what you can. Stop with the "why aren't you working at such and such hospital" they didn't hire you, that is why. Be greatful for the job you have and do your best to learn as much as you can so that youn can eventually transfer to the hospital closer to you. You "thought at the time" it was a blessing because it was a blessing. Your orientation is short, so at the end if you feel like you need more, ASK FOR IT. If they say no, they say no, but you need to ask and stand up for yourself. The good and bad about nursing = you will be forced to learn to stand up for yourself and have some backbone.

Sounds like normal emotion tied with nursing. It is hard hard hard sometimes to see the pain, like the husband of the women in the accident. But feelign the pain makes you human.

[applewhitern, BSN, RN]

I don't understand why anyone would need 6 months of orientation, esp. if they have a master's degree in nursing. Do they not teach actual nursing in school anymore? If you applied for 150 jobs and this was the only one offered to you (after 5 months of looking) you need to stick with this one, until you get some experience anyway. Be thankful if you get 2 or 3 months orientation; at my facility you might get 2 weeks. I agree this isn't social work, in that aspect anyway. You can have empathy and sympathy for each and every patient and their extended family members, but you are a nurse now, not a social worker.

[Zookeeper3]

I promise and swear that this is normal to feel the way you are! you have only been bedside nursing for two weeks!

In the ER, you need critical thinking and prioritizing- comes after experience

In the ER, you need excellent and efficient skills (tasks)- comes with experience

In the ER, once you are done getting a handle on the above, you'll have a moment to focus on the family.

Right now, you have a short time to learn and prioritizing on learning how to be skilled, confident and efficient is your job. It seems during stressful situations, you are naturally stepping back into the social work role in which you came from. May I suggest you instead jump right in and practice nursing, you may become focused on the tasks at hand which is where you need to be. (Meant very nicely)

As for the drive, sorry, no sympathy from me. I litterally drove 90 minutes... EACH way, five days a week to gain experience so I would be marketable closer to home. And yes I did that for a year.

It will take you at least a year to start feeling comfortable, the letters after your name may be a hinderance to you, as many will assume "you should know", and forget that you are a NEW GRAD. You may consider reminding them with a smile.

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

Moved to First Year After Nursing Licensure for more response.