New Grad - Need Some Advice

icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN · Sep 18, 2014

I like the clear and forthright manner in which you described your situation. The unwritten rule in a good nursing unit is this:

Nobody sits down until we can all sit down.

So if you are all caught up with your work, and a colleague is kind of frazzled, the kind thing to do is to quietly say 'can I help you with anything.' I set an example of doing this everywhere I go. The tasky stuff like drawing blood, turning a pt., a fingerstick, hanging a new iv bag.

Don't be so hard on yourself. It is not that bad. Let your manager know you appreciate honest feedback, that you think it is a bit exaggerrated but that you will work on this, and get on with your life.

One more thing, if a coworker tattled instead of just being direct with you, then you need to recognize that

there is a person or people in your unit who does not like you. Be thankful that this is the worst thing they could come up with. Don't talk about it with

anyone. This is trivial. Next week it will be someone else who is being critiqued and snitched on. You want to have a good reputation so that when

someone makes a ludicrous accusation, and they will, your coworkers can say no way, she's nice and always there when you need help.

Don't get involved in talking about anyone at work because now you know how bad it feels to have people talking about you.

So chin up, take the high road.

This too shall pass.

toomuchbaloney · Sep 18, 2014

I agree with the above.

It was interesting to me that you were criticized for asking for help but not offering to help others.

Do your nursing co-workers offer to help you or do you have to ask?

Why is there a requirement for you to offer but not them?

That aside, I would, as said above, graciously accept the constructive criticism from the manager (who clearly is somewhat removed from the actual care delivery and team work of the unit) and move forward making damned sure I NEVER sat down in the presence of cowardly coworkers again.

MommyNurse123, BSN · Sep 19, 2014

Thank you both for your replies! They are definitely what I needed to hear. Somehow after my manager spoke to me I spent two days feeling like the world was caving in. You gave me some perspective. Hopefully I can grow from this and become a better nurse. icuRNmaggie I think you are correct that this was probably one nurse who likes to stir the pot. The charge nurse who works all the same nights as me is quite critical and big gossip, constantly trash talking people behind their backs, and only sometimes saying how she feels to people's faces. She is a strong nurse with a lot of power, so what she says holds a lot of weight. I have a feeling it was she who spoke to my manager. I will not confront her, I will just spend a lot of effort trying to prove her wrong.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Sep 19, 2014

And do not hesitate to say to her "I am in a good place, what can I do to help".

Make sure that your meeting with your manager gets specific--ask for assistance (I do check in with nurses when I am complete in my duties for the time, is there more you suggest that I do?) Or even "I am sitting to chart, however, do answer call lights, the phone, and respond to alarms while I am doing so. Is this not correct? Should I be checking in with charge before I sit to chart?"

"This job and my practice are important to me. I want to be a valued member of the team. What are your suggestions?"

It is difficult, but do not get defensive. Do not get all into the "charge nurse is the one who doesn't like me", even though this may be hard to do if the conversation could lead you down this path. "It is important to me that my practice reflect my work ethic. What do you suggest that I do to improve?"

And finally "May we meet again next month to discuss my progress, and if there is still areas of concern?"

Best wishes, and let us know how it goes.

Delicate Flower · Sep 19, 2014

I feel for you. I have been in a similar situation where I got called by the manager (at home, on my day off), to discuss some horrid behavior of mine that allegedly happened the week prior. I had NO idea what she was talking about, and spent half a week crying about it. Turns out, I was wrongly accused- the person who was at fault for said horrid behavior was a person sharing my (not very common) first name. The manager was set straight, but I never received an apology (big surprise).

The worst part of your situation, even though it is different from mine, is that the accusation is SO FAR from the actual truth. From the sounds of it (and I believe you- it's not hard to tell your character from your thoughtful and well written post) you are doing a very fine job for such a new nurse. My though is, why do your co-workers, and especially your manager, even expect you to be helping your coworkers. As a brand new grad with less than a year on the job, you are SUPPOSED to be still figuring out things for yourself. You are meant to be asking questions. Your coworkers should be helping you! If you are helping your fellow nurses by giving meds for them and answering their call lights, that is awesome. It shows you have your time management figured out pretty darn good already - something that isn't easy so early in your career. Bravo!

So yes, it sounds terribly unfair. Unfortunately, the world of nursing (like the rest of the world) is full of unfair BS. Unfortunately there is not much you can do about the unfairness aspect. What you can do, is keep doing what you are doing, but be alot more obvious about it! Don't be so quiet about everything you do; advertise it a little bit. You are smart enough to know how to do that without being obnoxious.

No matter where you work, there will be people who don't like you. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Nothing you can do about it. Just do your job, take care of the patients, be a team player. Don't let the BS get you down:)

icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN · Sep 19, 2014

to mommienurse and delicateflower,

think about your coworkers and which ones you like working with and why, what qualities make them good coworkers.

Who is the one nurse you admire and why.

I think I know what you will write, but do it here so that we can have a young nurses perspective.

thanks,

Maggie

HopefulSRNA1234 · Sep 19, 2014

It's never any fun to be criticized but since we're all not perfect, we all have to take it sometimes. I'd try to look at this as a learning experience. Don't beat yourself up about it (I mean, it's not like you injured a patient or something) but instead, try to use the criticism constructively. The best thing you can do when you talk to your manager and tell her you've been trying very hard and were unaware that people felt that way. Tell her that you'll make more of an effort to help people. Don't be defensive and give excuses; from a managers perspective that is just talking back and not being willing to accept criticism. If you treat this like constrictive criticism and use it to improve yourself as a team member, you'll come out shining and I'm sure everyone will appreciate it :)

Also, don't feel bad about having a little criticism. I find it interesting that you first complained about not having any feedback and then when you received some feedback, you cried for two days about it. I think you might have been wanting some sort of validation that you were doing wonderfully and when you heard something you need to improve on, you crumbled a bit and were too hard on yourself and viewed it as a failure. Maybe a good lesson out of this can also be taking criticism as useful information rather than thinking you failed at something.

Anyways, that's just my two cents. Good luck!

Tenebrae, BSN, RN · Sep 23, 2014

I learned from being bullied as a student, constructive criticism will always be specific. eg I would like you to work on this specific area"

when criticisim comes form a different motivation, it is always vague. Dont be afraid to ask for specific instances when what they are claiming occured