Needing some reassurance about returning to work, Please!!!

[ShannonB25]

Hi everyone,

I am about to return to work on Thursday after an almost two year hiatus resulting from a ridiculous amount of medical problems. I was supposed to have started my new job a month ago, but have had the month from hell. First a miscarriage, followed by cholecystitis, then gallbladder surgery. I've been hospitalized twice more since then also.

To top it ALL off, I had a car accident last night and am lucky to be alive (according to the paramedics and cops at the scene). Due to a med I'd inadvertantly stopped taking, I had a small seizure and plowed into a parked car, which was luckily abandoned.

Sigh....I just don't know what to expect next. Needless to say, I'm sore today. No concussion, but I have a heckuva headache, a very bruised spleen and several internal contusions, etc. It could have been soooo much worse, and I thank God that I didn't end up dead or hospitalized yet again.

Anyway, back to my job- I'm worried to death about starting my new job on Friday. I am lucky enough to have gained employment with a reputable hospital who has been EXTREMELY understanding through all of this mess in the past month. I want to do a great job for them, but I'm nervous because I have been out of work for so long, and I had about 2 1/2 yrs experience in Labor and Delivery, so they hired me as an experienced nurse.

My concerns are: What if I dont' get enough orientation time due to the fact that I do have experience? What if I've forgotten a lot of what I learned during those two years? What if things have changed a lot in the past 2 years since I've worked? What if, due to the fact that this is a much higher risk hospital, I am embarking on a huge learning curve, even with my experience?

I've been crying all night, trying not to feel sorry for myself, but I can't help but wonder "What next???" I know the old hormones are not yet back to normal, I still have some pain and digestive problems post-chole, and the car accident yesterday just topping it off- well, I feel more than a little depressed and overwhelmed.

Someone please reassure me that I can do the job that I signed on to do starting on Friday. I really want to impress the heck out of my nurse manager, and I want to truly earn the money that my family so desperately needs from me in my paycheck. (All of this, of course, comes after my first priority- my patients, who deserve the very best nursing care that they can get.)

My anxiety regarding my job is literally keeping me from getting any type of sleep at all. I think part of it too is the fact that while I loved night shift at my former hospital, when I switched to days we were severely understaffed and I had the witch from Hades as charge every time I worked- not a good situation to be thrust into day after day, no matter how much you love your job.

Well, keep me in your prayers if nothing else please. I really could use them.

With thanks and much love,

Shannon

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

I answered to you on the other post. :)

[ShannonB25]

Thank you. I wasn't sure which place would be appropriate to post, but thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Shannon what can I say? You have been thru so much I would be worried about you if you had NO anxiety about returning to work.

Just take it one day at a time.....pray if inclined. Do NOT be afraid to ask for help from coworkers as you need it. Go slow at first. Take abreather or break if you need to.

(((HUGE GENTLE HUGS))))

hang in there and I wish you the very best.

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

Thank you. I wasn't sure which place would be appropriate to post, but thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.

Not thanks......that is what we are here for. Today you might need a lift, and tomorrow I might need one. :icon_hug:

[ICRN2008, BSN, RN]

It sounds like you've been through a lot lately. I am glad to hear that you are ok after the car accident.

Have you considered talking to someone about everything to help you sort it out? My employer has an Employee Assistance Program, which is completely confidential. We can go and talk to a counselor free of charge about personal problems, anxiety, etc. I did this once and it really helped to get an objective person's advice.

Because of all the stuff you've been through, your physician might be willing to prescribe sleeping pills for a few days. This could help you get some much-needed rest before you start your job.

Also, don't hesitate to ask your supervisor for a longer orientation if you feel you need one. If they have been understanding thus far, then they will hopefully grant your request.

Good luck and we'll all be rooting for you.

[jkaee]

I agree with BSN....if you feel you need more orientation because you've been out of the loop for a while, tell them. I'd try to tell them a good bit before youre finished your orientation (like 2 weeks before) that you'll need more so that they won't have to try and fill your spot to give you more time. I know that places are desperate to have nurses fill open areas, but if it doesn't feel comfortable for you to be out on your own, then don't do it. OB is not the place to try and wing it.

Take a deep breath, and try to relax. You've been thru hell, but you made it through. You'll be surprised how much comes back to you once you are in "work mode". This board is great if you need encouragement, advice or just a place to vent.

Good luck, and take care of yourself.

Jennifer

[VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN]

Sending prayers your way, Shannon

[NurseNora, BSN, RN]

I retired for 4 1/2 years and ran short of money and had to go back to work. I was terrified of how I would do. L&D is a lot like riding a bicycle, it does come back to you. Yes there have been changes, but babies still come out the same way, women still need the same kind of support, oxytocin is one of the drugs you'll be using a lot. You'll have new things to learn, but that would be the case if you were just changing hospitals with no time lag involved.

Your orientation should include chances for you and your preceptor to talk about how you're doing and feeling. What you feel you need to work on more, what she feels you need to focus on. If you're approaching the end of your orientation and feel unprepared, ask for an extention. Unless you're hopeless (which I sincerely doubt), they will likely give you some more time since they already will have an investment in you.

You'll do well. Use some relaxation breathing and meditation. If I could do it after nearly 5 years out, you can do it too.

[rn/writer, RN]

Your history sounds much like mine. I injured myself on an EMT call (broke my ankle in an extremely odd and damaging way) and it took nearly six years and many surgeries, therapies, etc. to return to a near-normal state. Then, just when I was ready to start my life again, I tore a tendon in my arm and needed more surgery. One day into my new job (postpartum), I had a small MI and had to be out for nearly a month. I thought sure I had lost this wonderful opportunity, but my employer has been terrific. Here's what I would encourage you to do.

Take care of yourself in every way possible. Say yes to things that feel nurturing and uplifting. Say no to distractions and downers.

Eat and sleep as well as you can. These essentials are often sacrificed during high stress times and your body pays a price. Take vitamins.

Make a list of all that you have gone through in that last couple of years but instead of just recording the various assaults and setbacks, put a different spin on things and recall how you overcame each one.

Ask to work with more than one preceptor. You'll get the chance to meet more people that way and you won't be locked in if you get one you don't mesh with.

If your hospital has a nurse educator, use her as a valuable resource. Ask what materials the unit has to help you get back up to speed and make the most of them.

Be realistic about your recovery time, both physically and emotionally, regarding the miscarriage. Especially since you'll be working on an L&D floor. Recovery is rarely linear. Most people bounce around the different stages of grief for a while and even after they think they are over the worst, can still have the occasional aftershock.

Use on-line resources to brush up on technical info (and, of course, keep checking in here).

Surround yourself with people who care about you and who will listen and let you be right where you are.

Be at peace with where you are. Do your best and then rest in the knowledge that it has to be enough. You will learn and grow as you are able. Asking more of yourself can only hurt.

Laugh whenever and wherever possible. Cultivate joy. Sing in the shower. Buy yourself flowers. Rent old movies. Eat pizza. Wear perfume. Read a delightfully indulgent novel. Argue with people on TV. In short, do anything free and easy and silly and warm. You will heal from the inside out and be far less vulnerable to the handful of miserable souls out there who would try to capitalize on your trepidation.

You have already succeeded by getting up one more time than you were knocked down. I'm so glad you weren't hurt worse in your accident. God's blessings on you and his protection around you.

Miranda

[SmilingBluEyes]

Shannon, how did it go?

[ShannonB25]

You're not going to believe this but I ended up at the ER again...this time with a kidney stone! It's not my first, but it still sucked.

I had five days in a row off per my schedule so they just asked me to come in on Thursday. I have a few more days to mentally and physically prepare I guess. Maybe that's what I needed.

THank you SO much for all of the support, kind words, and great advice. It has meant more than you'll know to me. I'm taking it all to heart and will carry it over to work. I WILL be there on Thursday (and then I work three in a row, so God help me! :)) I'll post really soon after my three days, or during it if I feel I can.

Thank you again for your concern and your friendship,

Shannon