Need INPUT!!

I love the job but all the other workers backstab and criticise the nurse or aide that has left the previous shift.

Unfortunately that is the nature of nursing whether you work in private duty, in the hospital, in LTC, wherever there is more than one shift. Each shift tends to blame the other for anything that goes wrong. Sad but true.

Now yesterday the daughter who bought out the home care contract took me out to lunch to get my feelings on each worker which I feel is wrong

#1 Rule: NEVER go out to lunch or anywhere with a family member. If the family member has concerns she needs to bring out that contract and discuss it with the employer who wrote it.

and to tell me that one of the aides said i pushed in the stoma of the lady but you cant push in a stoma and I looked it up and called my boss and told her that is not possible.She is best friends with one of the aides so she takes her word over mine even tho I have been a nurse for 20 years.I am not sure what to do. I also have seen signs of dehydration in the woman but the aide say she doesnt see it so the daughter doesnt want to do anything about it.How can she take an aides word over mine?

NEVER discuss other employees with a family member. All you can do is tell the truth and it is up to your employer to handle the issue. Make sure you chart thoroughly the signs of dehydration that you are observing. Once you've told the truth it's out of your hands unless you decide to discuss the issue directly with the aide that reported you.

And what do you think of the policy of discussing coworkers behind their backs??

I don't think there is a policy of discussing coworkers behind their backs? If there is I'd be running to find another job. That's just wrong no matter which way you slice it. Hope things work out well for you since you are enjoying the job. Do your best and let the rest of it slide off your back and if you can't take it up with your employer.

I would find another case and keep the lessons learned from the current situation close to my chest. If there is a question about quality of care, I would direct the client to my employer.

Honestly, and I know I'm generalizing, I find that very wealthy clients are difficult, unrealistic and step over time honored respected boundaries. If I were in private duty, I'd steer clear. But that's just me.

i think it's time for a meeting with all the aides and nurses involved in that case, called by the boss. individual meetings will only produce "i never said that! but i heard....." and will also get messed up in the retelling. a group meeting allows for no misunderstandings when janie is talking to the boss about something that mary told her nurse carol said about aide nancy, when janie, mary, carol, and nancy are all sitting right there. there needs to be reiteration about work ethics (which the boss isn't following either, if she's allowing an aide to take care of a close friend).

barring a meeting, refuse to talk about other employees to anyone but the boss, and only if there is an issue the boss needs to be aware of, not to tattle, and don't let the family members treat you to lunch anymore unless the whole group is invited. by asking you about the others and then telling you what was said about you, the daughter is just stirring the pot.

If this lady is dehydrated that can sometimes cause a stoma to prolapse back.