Need input please!!

nialloh, RN · May 6, 2006

Welcome to Allnurses. The only thing I can think of is that you want to go back to the familiar, bad as it is. You are embarking on a new life and are a bit nervous.

ERNurse752, RN · May 6, 2006

First, congratulations on your achievement. :)

I think it happens to a lot of people, to want to go back to what is familiar. Even if familiar was bad, it's what you know.

But don't do it! You have come too far. That says something good about you.

Have you ever gone to counseling? Might be a good thing for you, to help you deal with your past and get on to the future.

nursedawn67, LPN · May 6, 2006

You are just scared of the new and unusual...like the others said you are looking for the familiar. But with all you have acheived and have learned now, you can never really go back to the "same". You have too much inside you now. I bet if you went back to the "old" life you would have a hard time because your feelings have changed too much. I congratulate you on taking charge and moving ahead and making a better life for yourself. You have already proved you can do it and will! Take care! :)

mwasmer · May 6, 2006

Thank you everyone! The honesty is refreshing and very helpful. I have just been angry with myself for letting it get to me. I have read so much truth in all of you words. I am a very different person than I was 12 years ago. I will continue on this journey and make the best of it. I will use this horrible tragedy for (hopefully) something good! I will call monday first thing and seek counseling once again. I don't really want to go back to the old way, guess I just needed to be reminded it's a choice. It may have not been a choice as a child but as a 37 year old woman I do have the choice today! And I've been drawn into this profession to help others and I do realize I am of no use if I do not stay on track! Thank you all for taking the time. I really need the extra support from those who have gone before me!

Thank you!!

UnderpaidNurse · May 7, 2006

I can totally empathize with you! I'm six weeks out from graduation, and I have a little voice from the past that keeps wanting me to self destruct and not finish. I keep shoving that aside, and firmly stating to myself that I am WORTH ALL OF THIS! I have so much love and the need to tend to others that I will not revert to old form. I bet you are brimming with compassion for others, having come from a not so "Norman Rockwell" childhood. Use what you left to show empathy and compassion for those that come seeking you for aid. You have a bright future. Congratulations

P_RN, ADN, RN · May 7, 2006

Tell that little voice to go away. You are a traveller in a "foreign land." You are worth everything for the work you have undertaken on this journey.

Congratulations on graduating, congratulations on becoming a member of our allnurses family. Hold your head up proudly and know that you are not your past, you are your future!! You are a NURSE.

P

Dink75 · May 7, 2006

It is my opinion that difficulties and tragic events in the past shape us to be the people we are today. It is in how we react to these hardships. Does this stop you from becoming a caring nurse...or does it enable you to better understand the difficult feelings that your patients are dealing with? Those who have had "perfect" lives are sometimes not equipped to handle the difficult positions we, as nurses, sometimes find ourselves in. As the saying goes, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. On graduation day, hold your head up proudly for all that you have accomplished and be proud to be the unique caring nurse that you are. :nurse:

purplemania, BSN, RN · May 7, 2006

It is easy to fall back on what is familiar, especially when under stress. Try to associate with other students who can support your career. Resist the urge to share your past too much with them. They should judge you on who you are NOW. And so should you.

mwasmer · May 7, 2006

Wow,

I can not believe you guys! I can not tell you or describe how much your words of wisdom and support has saved me! Literally saved me!

I feel extremely proud to be apart of such a profession that truly has amazing spirits! I am so blessed that I ended up at this sight to be apart of with you guys!

Bless you!!

:) thank you!!:blushkiss

rn/writer, RN · May 8, 2006

Any time you approach a role change, whether it be personal (marriage, becoming a parent) or professional (graduating, taking a job, getting a promotion), you will very likely go through a brief period where you feel like a fraud.

This is normal for everyone to some degree (much of it comes from feeling that your inside feelings don't yet match your outside circumstances), but people who have abuse in their background often experience a stronger version of this. Why? Because abuse, no matter what form it takes, is a message that you're not important or worthy or special or even good.

And there is another backlash. As children, people who were affected by abuse learned to feel helpless and ineffectual. If the damage occurred over a long period of time, they also learned not to get their hopes up.

And now, here you are, stepping into a capable role, filled with hope, a career choice that is important and good--all attributes that clash with those old messages.

Take some quiet time to seek out the little person that you once were and tell her you love her. And give her the straight story on her situation back then. "You were very strong, but you didn't know what to do." "You were sooo special, but the people around you weren't able to let you know that."

Then paint the picture of what her future holds by telling her what's happening now. Imagine her eyes growing wide as she thinks about becoming a NURSE someday.

You are not a fraud. You are very real or you wouldn't be able to share your vulnerability with us.

And you're far more than a survivor. You are an overcomer. Congratulations. Well done. You deserve this success and many more.