Need advice!!!! I hate my job

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Apr 10, 2011

I will be returning to school next month. But, I have been in college previously. I decided to leave when my parents died in a car accident. I was pre-med when I was in college the first time, and decided to change my focus to nursing after spending so much time in the hospitals (during my time as a pre-med student, and when my parents were in ICU) I saw what the nurses did in the hospitals, and I was drawn to it. So, You're right, I am not in school right now, but I have seen nursing from many different angles in my personal, professional and academic life.

Seeing nursing from "many different angles" is good. However, observing nurses while a visitor, observing nurses while in a non nursing professional capacity, does not even remotely give you reality of actually being a nurse. Until you have actually done it, been totally responsible for x amount of patients, known the feeling of being in over your head already and then being told you're getting the next admission, working a horrible 12 hour shift and knowing that tomorrow and the next day it starts all over, and on an on, you cannot KNOW what it's like to be a nurse. You may truly believe no surprises await you, but I can say with confidence that that cannot possibly be true.

I worked as a trauma ICU nurse tech before I became a nurse, and I thought I had a pretty good feel for what it would be like to be a critical care nurse. Just as I thought because I had changed thousands of diapers for my much younger siblings and babysat for them for countless hours as a teen that I knew what it would be like to be a mother, I was WRONG. Nothing can totally prepare you for the experience - until you actually wear those moccasins. Until you have been there, it's just one of those things about which you are NOT QUALIFIED to advise others.

abbyann · Apr 10, 2011

I don't think I'm in for any "surprise" because unlike the rest of the people who complain about the job, I have taken the time to make sure this is where I want to be. This will ensure that I don't have to complain about it to a bunch of strangers, who can't help me any way.

And the job of your dreams will fall into your lap the day after you receive your license, paying a terrific salary, all your fellow nurses will be in awe of your expertise. You won't run into one ***** or crappy boss, and you'll never make a mistake or a med error.

If you dislike us complainers, feel free to go elsewhere. I would suggest "pollyannanurses.com"

The rest of us whiners would do well to ignore this poster from now on.

OCNRN63, RN · Apr 10, 2011

I will be returning to school next month. But, I have been in college previously. I decided to leave when my parents died in a car accident. I was pre-med when I was in college the first time, and decided to change my focus to nursing after spending so much time in the hospitals (during my time as a pre-med student, and when my parents were in ICU) I saw what the nurses did in the hospitals, and I was drawn to it. So, You're right, I am not in school right now, but I have seen nursing from many different angles in my personal, professional and academic life.
I answered the Nurse Practitioner question because the person who posted his question sounded just like I did when I decided I wanted to be a nurse. He was looking for information on the UAB program. I know a nurse practitioner who studied at UAB and I told her my plans and she gave me the same advice I gave him. I also included some info from their website.
Nothing I said was out of line, and just because I am not in school at the moment does not mean I have not been down the road before. Furthermore, none of the areas of this site are restricted. If I see a question that I am qualified to answer, then I will.
I don't think I'm in for any "surprise" because unlike the rest of the people who complain about the job, I have taken the time to make sure this is where I want to be. This will ensure that I don't have to complain about it to a bunch of strangers, who can't help me any way.
All the Best.

Your story, while compelling, still makes you nothing more than a layperson with an interest in nursing. Those of us who actually are nurses come here to get advice, give and receive support from our peers. You're correct that you are free to post wherever you want, but your experiences in the hospital as an observer do not make you qualified in any degree to advise us anymore than the local street vendor. FWIW, pre-meds have zero experience with interacting with nursing staff on a meaningful basis, so your previous college experience really does nothing to add to your credibility. Even medical students have limited exposure to the hospital environment until they are MS3.

I'm glad for you if you think nursing is for you. But since you're not even a student, let alone a nurse, don't be surprised if your "advice" is met with skepticism, particularly when you attempt to chastise nurses who dare to come here and vent.

KateMLS · Apr 10, 2011

Lolita Kitty, part of me desperately wants to get you a cup of tea. It doesn't cure much but does go a long way toward soothing the nerves.

You've been an RN slightly over 3 months, you have worked as a new grad about the same length of time; I'd be surprised if you were not overwhelmed. No matter what anyone says or thinks, nothing but nothing prepares you for the actuality of really working as a RN, fully responsible for everything. For anyone who says they did this in some form as a student the question to be answered is this: was there anyone else responsible for the patients or you. Since you were a student, at the very least your instructor was responsible for you (that's the legal side of being an instructor). When it's you and only you it is very different.

It takes time to develop effective time management skills. It takes even more time to feel and respond to the rhythm of a particluar unit or specialty area.

Nurses are incredibly good at beating themselves up over the slightest deviations from perfection in all things. Be gentle with yourself. You are leaning. Right now, and for the next several months, making it through each day is success. I promise you, the day will come when you are able to spend some quality time talking with a Pt, when you can make a joke and have time to listen to the laughter and really see the smile. Once that happens, then evaluate if you're in the right place.

Be well, be kind

AOx1 · Apr 11, 2011

Seeing a profession from the outside hardly qualifies one as a source of sound advice. I see my dentist twice yearly and watch what he does in detail, but would not presume that this qualifies me to go to a site for dentists and offer career advice.

Chin up · Apr 11, 2011

I will be returning to school next month. But, I have been in college previously. I decided to leave when my parents died in a car accident. I was pre-med when I was in college the first time, and decided to change my focus to nursing after spending so much time in the hospitals (during my time as a pre-med student, and when my parents were in ICU) I saw what the nurses did in the hospitals, and I was drawn to it. So, You're right, I am not in school right now, but I have seen nursing from many different angles in my personal, professional and academic life.
I answered the Nurse Practitioner question because the person who posted his question sounded just like I did when I decided I wanted to be a nurse. He was looking for information on the UAB program. I know a nurse practitioner who studied at UAB and I told her my plans and she gave me the same advice I gave him. I also included some info from their website.
Nothing I said was out of line, and just because I am not in school at the moment does not mean I have not been down the road before. Furthermore, none of the areas of this site are restricted. If I see a question that I am qualified to answer, then I will.
I don't think I'm in for any "surprise" because unlike the rest of the people who complain about the job, I have taken the time to make sure this is where I want to be. This will ensure that I don't have to complain about it to a bunch of strangers, who can't help me any way.
All the Best.

And my uncle is bigger than yours...LMAO!!

Lucky0220 · Apr 11, 2011

Ok I just graduated from nursing school in December. Took state boards in Feb, which I passed on the first try :). Started a new job, working on a cardiac telem floor and I hate my job. I don't know if its because Im new or if it's really because I don't like it. I can honestly say it is'nt what I thought it was going to be like. I like working with patients more one on one. I have five patients now and I feel like all day long all I do is go from room to room passing meds and doing assesments. I loved it, in school when we only had three patients and I could actually sit with my patients and find out in more details what was going on with them and educate them. It felt like I was really helping. Please help I don't know what to do Did anybody else feel the same way once they first started working?

LK,

Sorry that your one and only post on this forum was hijacked. This happens sometimes, unfortunately. If I were you, I'd start another thread so that you can get some good advice.

I struggled terribly, my first year out of school. I had three jobs within that first year and felt that I had made a big mistake by going to nursing school.

I have re-grouped, so to speak and accepted a job in a very well respected LTC. IMHO new RNs feel they are only worthwhile if they work in a hospital setting, but I just could not make it work for me. I hope there is a way that you can research some other health facilities in your area, and find your comfort zone.:redbeathe

Thankful RN,BSN · Apr 11, 2011

It takes some time to get use to. Don't give up just yet!

Miller86 · Apr 11, 2011

I do not understand why students are not given 'real' assignments on their last clinicals. Why so many nurses who come here are disillusioned about what happens on the floors when they start to actually work.
Floor nursing is very hard work, but can be very fulfilling. Are we turning out too many nurses who have not had the opportunity to juggle their priorities?
And any job may take 6 months to a year, or even longer, to actually master. Why do so many of us think we should be fully developed in just a few weeks?
Give yourself some time to master your skills, learn to prioritize, and comprehend all the new material. Take care of yourself.
Best wishes!

Good point!!

I had a nursing student assigned to me the other day and when I was filling her in on the report I received from the previous nurse the teacher interrupted and said "she can't have a difficult or unstable patient"

The patient was not doing good and we were closely watching him and pretty much expecting a code. Our hospital doesn't allow transfer of patients to icu unless they have fully coded. It's unreal to wait for the patient to get to unresponsive then react when we can prevent it all with proper monitoring but that's a whole other issue for another time!

Anyway I told the teacher the student will not give medications, not intervene in any way but can shadow me to learn.

She gave me a nasty look and said "thats unsafe" and walked away.

I just figured it would be more realistic than mr xy who is walking to the bathroom and asks for his meds. This is the same school I went to where we only had the most stable patients right until to the end of it. It's ludicrous to me.

Miller86 · Apr 11, 2011

Hey!

I can honestly say I've had/have all the above feelings you have described. I got my job in October and I still get nervous, go home and flat out feel like crying and have shifts where I think "I'm quitting and never doing this again"

There's simply not enough time for each patient when I have a million things to do and tons of stuff running through my head. I'm constantly praying not to mess up and get relief to go home.

Sometimes I have pre-work anxiety and dread the drive to work but as soon as I hit the floor it disappears.

But I did find what I love about it:

My patients, even the "I can't stand you" type. There's something about the communication, the little time spent with them and just knowing something I've done made them say "thank you" or a little smile, some warmth in their eye and the not-so good days that turned out just fine. Even the bad days turn out okay in my mind when I actually sit there and reflect on it. What went wrong? Why did I feel that way? What did I change or could I change the next time? Most of all what did I learn from it?

I can honestly say every little part of my shift allows me to learn something. I finally am starting to accept: this is a learning journey and that I'll never know it all or know enough but I can try and I will overcome it.

I haven't harmed anyone yet and my little nervous silly akward mistakes are in fact not a problem but I made them to be because I didnt see the bigger picture and i let it get the best of me. I learned and I will continue to do so.

About just two months ago, I realized I cranked up the music on my way to work and left work thinking about ice cream and what I'll buy my god daughter. Rarely do I think about things or dwell on them. I leave it behind and tell myself "I have to go live!!"

So you see it does get better if you want it to. We all know that life is some type of a maze and there is a way out to all the dead end points. You'll find a way through your maze, I'm getting through mine slowly but just know somewhere out there there's someone experiencing it too.

Maybe you may need a different area of nursing at some point soon. ICU may just be your gig but you still need experience so wait it out a year first. Reflect on each shift and see what issues you may have.

I talk to my nursing buddies from school and it really helped me tackle some small issues and i learned by hearing their experiences too.

I wish you luck and hope for overcoming this.

Miller86 · Apr 11, 2011

Ps. On my line of "I haven't harmed anyone yet"....there really should be no yet. I intend for no yet to be.

Katie5 · Apr 11, 2011

I can't believe that a new nurse just can't come to these forums and be honest and vent. There is nothing wrong with sitting down with your patients and chatting/getting to know them. I'm astonished at all the advice the OP has got from either
A. nurses who don't even work acute care and have no room to judge
Or
B. people that aren't even nurses and have no clue whatsoever
IMO that's immature:)

Even better, why not suggest OP quit?:)