Name that part. Words patients use for their own anatomy.

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Ever searched in a patients' room for what you thought she said she needed to "watch her pocketbook" , she staring at you and you staring at her. Then finally saying, mam what color is your pocketbook because I don't see a pocket book here. Only to have her say, no get my washtub out of the drawer, my washcloth and soap. I always like to wash my pocketbook before I go anywhere. Especially down for tests. And close that curtain, too. Then you say, Oh. ;)

Specializes in home & public health, med-surg, hospice.

I had a patient once that referred to her orifice as a "butter-hole" and her lady parts as a "tin plate." Makes ya wonder .?.?.?...weird

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Yesterday I was giving my pt a shower, and he told me make sure you get " Big John " real good..lol took me a min to figure out what he was talking about ..

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Specializes in Family.

Personally I call it "keep it on your side of the bed" :rotfl:

ROFLMBO!!!!

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Have had women refer to thier breasts as "the girls" or the "the twins".

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Specializes in geri, med/surg, neuro critical care.

I work in a long-term care facility, and we had a lady who was very "colorful". When I would put on gloves, she'd say "so, you're putting on your finger condoms?" She'd also ask outright "Are you a c*cksucker?" :chuckle She would also say that her p**** itched, talk about her past sex life, and ask us about ours! She has been gone for almost a year now...boy I sure do miss her! :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

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Specializes in PICU, NICU, Adult care as RT.

We have always tried to teach our children to call body parts by their proper names. You wouldn't call your arm a ding-dong, right? So when my son was very small, 3ish, when we gave him a bath we would say things like I'm washing your arm, or I'm washing your member. Well, somehow he missunderstood that word. When his grandmother was giving him a bath one evening, she washed a body part and asked him what it was. Elbow, fingers, etc. When she washed his member, she asked him what part she was washing. He looked at her very seriously and said "that's my Peanuts"!

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not a patient, as i am not a nurse, but an ex-boy friend (got rid of him for this thing and other like comments) member = one eyed snake named bob

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Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.
Had a lady complete a health questionnaire and stated she had had "a hysterical rectum". Imagine my relief when I learned she actually had had a hysterectomy.

:rotfl:

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Specializes in Internal Medicine Unit.

I've heard "who-who" and tallywacker most often since moving to the south, but the strangest I've heard were "bubbies" for breasts and ""dingle berry" for the scrotum.:chuckle

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Breast other wise known as "The Girls" or "Happy and Lucky" Sometimes as "The Twins"

When giving a bedbath AKA a Bird Bath, we say we are hitting the important parts this is sometimes called a TPA ... Tits Pitts and Ass.

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I had a wife of a pt who had coded call her son and tell him that "dad had an Big Internal fart and he died":angryfire . I about busted out laughing the doc had told her he had a Massive Myocarido Infarction. Well in the emotion of the moment you might say she didn't understand what an MI was.

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This whole thread has me :roll

I answered a call bell once and entered the room to find a male patients shifting in his wheelchair and looking mighty uncomfortable. I asked him what was wrong and he said to me "I can't get comfortable because I am sitting on my utensils!!" :chuckle It took me a minute to figure out what he meant- he wasn't too steady on his feet so I had to put on a glove and haul everything out for him while he stood up. Still gives me a chuckle to this day when I think of that man!! :chuckle

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