My patient showed me her farts.

Nurses General Nursing

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I'm on a roll tonight.

Me: You had abdominal surgery (wls) and you need to pass gas before we can let you go home.

Pt: (Lifts up left side of butt and passes gas) This is how much I can do, is that okay? (Pt lifts up other buttock and passes gas) but I can do better, can I go home?

Pt: I am flushed, is that okay? The other nurse said it is okay, is it okay? My doctor said it is okay, it is really okay? I think I am more flushed than usual, is that okay? My incision is itchy, is that okay? My doctor said it is okay, it is okay? I have to fart again, is that okay? If I have a bigger fart, is that better than a smaller fart? Is that okay?

You know, today I am soooooooooo not in the mood for this. I get it, it's me. I totally get it but I am still not in the mood for this.

I'm done venting.

OH! I had to laugh! The other day I called my cable company and get this... the recording said press 1 for Spanish and 2 for English! I have not seen that here before.

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A patient lifting up the gown so that I could observe them passing gas might just finally get me to lose it. Don't tell me they don't know better than that.

I'd thought I'd seen or heard about everything, but nope!

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A patient lifting up the gown so that I could observe them passing gas might just finally get me to lose it. Don't tell me they don't know better than that.

I'd thought I'd seen or heard about everything, but nope!

Do you think these people would dare to do these things outside of a hospital setting? What is it about the world of medicine that causes people to behave this way? Since when are people so dense that we must explain to them to remove the aluminum foil wrapper from the suppository before inserting it? I had one woman that told me she couldn't finish her bowel prep for her colonoscopy. I was perplexed, she got the gallon of yummies down, what's the problem? She explained that she couldn't stand the taste of the enema and it had a thick nasty coating on the nipple.

Seriously? What is wrong with people?

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Do you think these people would dare to do these things outside of a hospital setting? What is it about the world of medicine that causes people to behave this way? Since when are people so dense that we must explain to them to remove the aluminum foil wrapper from the suppository before inserting it? I had one woman that told me she couldn't finish her bowel prep for her colonoscopy. I was perplexed, she got the gallon of yummies down, what's the problem? She explained that she couldn't stand the taste of the enema and it had a thick nasty coating on the nipple.

Seriously? What is wrong with people?

Sigh. I wish I knew.

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I don't want to hijack this thread, really I don't. But as we are sharing fart stories....

I am a tough cookie. I've been shat upon, barfed on, and goobered on... no biggie. But, I was ( back there) providing care and a patient managed to lay one on the area above my gloves...:yuck:. I swear, I can still feel it.

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I don't want to hijack this thread, really I don't. But as we are sharing fart stories....

I am a tough cookie. I've been shat upon, barfed on, and goobered on... no biggie. But, I was ( back there) providing care and a patient managed to lay one on the area above my gloves...:yuck:. I swear, I can still feel it.

HAHAHAHAH

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BTW, I work for the surgeon. Not the hospital. The nurses invited me to go out with them tonight. I am going to do it. I am tired, we had emergency surgery at 3am this morning and it's 8:21PM now. I deserve it, I want to go out with my friends.

I am going to drink. Maybe a lot! I do not know yet.

I am a US nurse living and working in Mexico, tonight, I experience Mexican bars! I learn something new daily, today.......... Mexican bars!

Mexican food, huh? That accounts for the farts.

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

Either the food or the water! Hahaha!

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I want to live in Mexico now! And I've never left the US...lol

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I love this thread! And I love how most patients who know how to strategically fart (the can I go home fart) or the "just want to entertain anyone within earshot" fart somehow remember the best effect is achieved when one remembers to manually lift one butt cheek prior to the main auditory and olfactory event! :roflmao:

I love this post!

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I want to live in Mexico now! And I've never left the US...lol

You know, the first year I lived here I would come home sooo frustrated! OMG I was sick to death of hearing Spanish!! Just give me 1 moment of ENGLISH! I got used to it and today I even understand it. I still can't speak it well, but I understand the words.

I have NO privacy here, none whatsoever! I do not dare to sign a contract unless Juan (my boss) reads it first and tells me it is okay. Rental agreements, cable contracts, nothing, I do not sign unless Juan says it is safe to sign. My neighbors understand MY Spanish and they translate MY spanish to REAL Spanish so they handle all landlord issues, pizza deliveries, propane issues,

Now getting pulled over by the policia for speeding, I am on my own. I suddenly speak NO Spanish whatsoever and understand nothing. They keep telling me I am getting a ticket for speeding... I understand them, I am not about to admit it. I just bury my face in my hands and cry claiming "I do not know what you want!" They finally (out of frustration) lean into my Mazda Miata window and scream, GO HOME! So, I do!

Everyone here assumes I do not speak or understand the language. That comes in handy at times, I hear the nurses talking about me. I work for the surgeon, not the hospital.. think about that. Some nurses really do not like me for my job. But I hear them talking about me. Some are (rightfully) resentful I am in their country doing a coushy job, others are my friends that defend me to the end. It is enlightening to hear them talk about me~ Hey, I have paid my dues, I have done my job, I finally landed a dream job and I fully admit it. I will not apologize for that. It really is MY dream job, not the dream job of everyone but for me? I am very happy and work is fun 99% of the time.

Life is slower here, people take time to smell the roses. Many US Citizens are (rightfully) FED UP with illegals but what they do not understand is that the Mexicans in Mexico have no desire to move to the US, they are happy doing their thing in their country. Most Mexicans have no desire to move to a new country and break their laws, they are fully happy people living in their own country raising their families and doing their thing in life.

Life is good here, I have no plans to move to Obamaland anytime soon.

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