My patient showed me her farts.

Published

I'm on a roll tonight.

Me: You had abdominal surgery (wls) and you need to pass gas before we can let you go home.

Pt: (Lifts up left side of butt and passes gas) This is how much I can do, is that okay? (Pt lifts up other buttock and passes gas) but I can do better, can I go home?

Pt: I am flushed, is that okay? The other nurse said it is okay, is it okay? My doctor said it is okay, it is really okay? I think I am more flushed than usual, is that okay? My incision is itchy, is that okay? My doctor said it is okay, it is okay? I have to fart again, is that okay? If I have a bigger fart, is that better than a smaller fart? Is that okay?

You know, today I am soooooooooo not in the mood for this. I get it, it's me. I totally get it but I am still not in the mood for this.

I'm done venting.

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Specializes in Acute Care Pediatrics.

Charting:

Bowel Sounds - hyperactive

LOL!!!

Hope your night gets less annoying.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

Lol I had a patient ring once and tell me she just farted and could I smell it?

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Honest, I'm not always a whiner. I'm just plain having a mood tonight!

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Lol I had a patient ring once and tell me she just farted and could I smell it?

Finish the story please. Could you? ;)

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I'm on a roll tonight.

Me: You had abdominal surgery (wls) and you need to pass gas before we can let you go home.

Pt: (Lifts up left side of butt and passes gas) This is how much I can do, is that okay? (Pt lifts up other buttock and passes gas) but I can do better, can I go home?

Pt: I am flushed, is that okay? The other nurse said it is okay, is it okay? My doctor said it is okay, it is really okay? I think I am more flushed than usual, is that okay? My incision is itchy, is that okay? My doctor said it is okay, it is okay? I have to fart again, is that okay? If I have a bigger fart, is that better than a smaller fart? Is that okay?

You know, today I am soooooooooo not in the mood for this. I get it, it's me. I totally get it but I am still not in the mood for this.

I'm done venting.

Not your vent.. the patient "vented". It's all good.. FLATUS achieved! Send 'em home.

Thinking you are tired of charting farts.

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BTW, I work for the surgeon. Not the hospital. The nurses invited me to go out with them tonight. I am going to do it. I am tired, we had emergency surgery at 3am this morning and it's 8:21PM now. I deserve it, I want to go out with my friends.

I am going to drink. Maybe a lot! I do not know yet.

I am a US nurse living and working in Mexico, tonight, I experience Mexican bars! I learn something new daily, today.......... Mexican bars!

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

I just said no. She seemed disappointed.

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Lol I had a patient ring once and tell me she just farted and could I smell it?

:roflmao:

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I just said no. She seemed disappointed.

That made me LOL in real time~ Thank you! I will think of you while I go out with my buds tonight and dance like a 53 year old!!!!! I will embarrass everyone there and love every minute of it.

Maybe DISCO! What do you think?

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

With sequins?

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With sequins?

You know, I kid you not. I could find that here! Even at 9:06PM, I can find that!

And maybe I will!

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