My patient fired me!

HuggyPuglet · Jul 23, 2005

One of my favorite stories: Had a mom whose child had chickenpox. We had a very nice converstion, never expressed any complaints or indications that there was a problem. I come back the next day and my manager had just listened to this mom grumble and complain where she stated that I said "it was good that her child got chickenpox" what I actually said was "chickenpox can be very hard on you when you are an adult, if you have to get chickenpox, you do better if you get it as a child" If you want to complain you will always find something. Suffice it to say, sometimes you can't win for losing

Having had chickenpox as an adult, I'd say you were right on the money with that one!

Audreyfay · Jul 23, 2005

I've had two patients "dismiss" me in my 29 years of nursing. One was an inpatient back surgery person. I hardly even recall what he said, but the ANM talked with me and said he didn't even want me answering his call light. She had told him that anybody who is available would be tending to him. After really thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that I "took a hit for the team." He was a guy who really had to be coddled and encouraged to do anything. Perhaps I was too firm.

As a diabetes educator, about two years ago, a patient, when scheduling a follow-up appointment said he wanted to see someone else. He saw the cute young blonde RD for about a year. In the end she dismissed him because she felt they weren't getting anywhere. He did follow-up with another diabetes educator who was older than me! In the end, he no-showed for several appointments and hopefully went elsewhere? :uhoh21:

I don't take it as personal because we are all different personalities. There are some patients we wish we didn't have to take care of for various reasons. They can feel the same way. Most of them just don't voice it. It could be something very silly, such as they remind you of someone they knew who they didn't like!

InfoNurse1595 · Jul 24, 2005

Don't get me wrong. Having a patient appreciate what you've done is a great feeling and it's wonderful when you are able to establish a good connection. But the nature of the therapeutic relationship is that the patient does not have to take care of you.
Miranda

I don't think I purposely go out and seek appreciation from patients. Of course I want them to feel comfortable, and that is my intention.

Perhaps I AM a bit too emotionally vunerable for this type of work. I really think its a part of my personality that I can't change, in every aspect of my life. It really takes a tough person to be a nurse!... at least a bedside nurse! They can really take a beating! Well I'm working on getting out of the bedside arena, but it will take some time....

chadash · Jul 24, 2005

I don't think I purposelyb
go out and seek appreciation from patients. Of course I want them to feel comfortable, and that is my intention.
Perhaps I AM a bit too emotionally vunerable for this type of work. I really think its a part of my personality that I can't change, in every aspect of my life. It really takes a tough person to be a nurse!... at least a bedside nurse! They can really take a beating! Well I'm working on getting out of the bedside arena, but it will take some time....

I am alot like what you describe yourself to be. I don't think toughness is a possibility for me either. I really admire those who seem to have that attribute. But I also believe that there are other strengths you can develope that can safeguard you from these moments of discouragement becoming more than just in the moment.

It has helped me alot to remember: it is not about me.

I know you might think, o my gosh! What my supervisors, coworkers etc think is my reputation, and that is my future. I have found that others can do you limited harm if you do some of the following:

Don't react emotionally to negative feedback, evaluate it and see if there is any thing you need to learn, and then let go! If it is that big of a deal, don't worry, someone will approach you with it. You sound like you normally err on the side of being hypervigilent, so you are pretty safe in assuming you can let go of the issue.

You will do more harm to yourself by over reacting.

If you have made an actual mistake, fess up and let go of it! If you keep a policy of not covering, but not remorsing either , you will find that these things are quite small.

But again, it is not about you, it is about the patient.

All this is just the painful process of growing into the nurse you are to be. I think that the years of experience that the other posters have had:

They have had their ups and downs. I am sure they all feel that what they are now is largely a result of things they learned the hard way!

nitenurse7 · Jul 24, 2005

our hospital's ceo is big on "service excellence" part of that is to keep the clients happy. which is sometimes impossible when they are miserable!!!!!! although we try hard don't we. and then again, sometimes, our nursing interventions aren't correlated with good service, for instance some pt.'s hate getting up after surgery. i always try to explain in a friendly, reassuring voice the reasons for all i do. as long as there's no dementia, confusion, difficulty hearing, or any other communication blocker, it usually helps. i just do the best that i can. it's tough doing bed side nursing. i'm with you... i think there are only a few more years of this bedside nursing left in my cards! it gives us great experience, but i'm physically and emotionally drained! and i feel i have very positive ways to manage my stress. one positive thing i'm going to eventually do is move on to a new field of nursing. while i do have a passion for the hospital, i know i can increase the quality of lives without slowly killing myself in the process!

i don't think i purposely go out and seek appreciation from patients. of course i want them to feel comfortable, and that is my intention.
perhaps i am a bit too emotionally vunerable for this type of work. i really think its a part of my personality that i can't change, in every aspect of my life. it really takes a tough person to be a nurse!... at least a bedside nurse! they can really take a beating! well i'm working on getting out of the bedside arena, but it will take some time....

NYNURSE8000 · Jul 24, 2005

Check this out... so funny. This happened about 2 weeks ago. I was taking care of a woman for the 2nd (and last--had the next 2 days off) day. She and I were having a great night and then come the morning...about 5am, she told me straight up, "You talk so much, I can't wait for you to go home!" I was shocked and my feelings were hurt. She was drugged out and chillin on a PCA pump of morphine. I was really offended... but I realized... this lady was under the influence, was in chronic discomfort....she didn't know WHAT she wanted. Not to mention she had some psych hx. I was so upset... I walked away saying that she should be grateful that I HAD enough time to spend with her. Damned if we do, damned is we don't!!!! HUGS to all of you:) "Don't take any guff from the swine... THEY ARE ALL SWINE!!!!" Hunter S. Thompson :coollook:

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Jul 24, 2005

...for instance some pt.'s hate getting up after surgery. i always try to explain in a friendly, reassuring voice the reasons for all i do. as long as there's no dementia, confusion, difficulty hearing, or any other communication blocker, it usually helps. i just do the best that i can. it's tough doing bed side nursing.

i know how these patients feel. i never understood it untill a few months ago i asked people here why this is done. you see i am still only 17 and my last surgery was somewhere between 5 and 7 years ago. but i wanted to understand it. untill i understood i always got angry, but this time i won't because i understand it has to be done and it is for my own safety i guess the word would be.

mattsmom81 · Jul 25, 2005

Patientsa today are entitled, and expectant to unrealistic levels. If i get a patient who fires me, I thank my lucky stars. They are likely PIA's anyway.

NYNURSE8000 · Jul 25, 2005

I HEAR YA loud and clear!!!!!!!!!!! AMEN!!!

"Patientsa today are entitled, and expectant to unrealistic levels. If i get a patient who fires me, I thank my lucky stars. They are likely PIA's anyway. "

nursekare · Aug 5, 2005

i've been in charge and fired by a patient. i felt that i had tried to offer the patient the best care i could, considering that i had 6 patients of my own while having to offer assistance to the other staff members, as well as to complete all of the paper work that goes along with the charge nurse responsibilities. i had to ask another nurse on the unit to take over the care of the patient. it was somewhat humbling but i figured that if the patient wasn't happy with the care that i was offering then i'd be more than happy and willing to let another nurse try to accomodate them. i've learned over the years that i am not always at fault in these situations. sometimes it is simply a matter of personality conflict. you know, when you meet someone for the first time and without really knowing the individual you decide that you don't really like them. it's a matter of opinion. some people won't like you no matter what you do for them or how well you tend to their needs.

keep your head up and be proud of your efforts, especially if you've done your best! :nurse:

barbb51405 · Aug 5, 2005

message deleted.

Its always nice to enjoy your job, but in the end these people don't define you as a nurse. you never tell them you will have someone else do it....you always chalk it up to medicine. Such as we get a better output count if we change it every 4 hours, its better regulated that way. Could you have done it right then, well sure u could have, why not. When u develope a relationship with a patient its better to keep a distance. People like that are looking to point out the littlest thing...she may have removed the tape just to point it out.

justmanda · Aug 5, 2005

Please, please try not to take this personally. I know it's hard. I have been "fired" before too. It's not easy especially when you know that you have tried to do everything for the patient. Sometimes there are just things about you that they do not like or you just don't do something fast enough or you say something that you think is innocent and they take the wrong way. Remember you cannot please everyone even though we try so hard. I've had a patient tell me I've thrown syringes at her and had a patient tell me that I didn't care for her at all when I had spent almost the whole night in her room. It doesn't get any easier to hear when a patient complains about their care that you give, but you have try and not take it as a personal attack. Remember that they are at there worst when they are in the hospital and sometimes they take it out on the nurses.

I actually had a patient get in my face...UP IN MY FACE, FINGER WAGGING, when I told her I was going to call her doctor to get her IV Demerol changed to a PO med. You see, the woman (hx drug abuse/ETOH) came in with a scratch on her finger. I swear, I can't believe she was even admitted. She had already been in the hospital for three days and there was hardly any evidence of said scratch. The IV Demerol, however, had left chemical phlebitis all up and down both arms. We started IVs on her every shift. There were several red lines..the length of the veins on each arm. I told her, when I was taking the IV out: "I'm going to call the doctor and ask for some PO pain medicine. This Demerol is eating up your veins." She started crying. I NEED MY DEMEROL, she said. I told her that we could find a way to manage her pain without causing her injury. She had no veins left for me to use anyway. She told me "I don't care if you mess up my veins, just give me the Demerol." She acted quite desperate. I said, "Let me just call your doctor and see what he suggests" She chased me down the hall saying "You have NO RIGHT to call my doctor. That is between ME and HIM!" I told her I would relay the condition of her veins to him, which I was OBLIGATED to do, and let him make the decision. She packed up her stuff and left AMA...inflamed arms and all. It was quite a scene. You can't always do what the patient wants you to do -- even if it results in them "firing" you.