My patient fired me!

emjay · Jul 21, 2005

Probably too high on her pain meds. Anyway, you can't please anybody. There are just so many miserable people out there that can't be pleased no matter what you do. You have 6 other lives to take care of. Short of having a sudden change in her condition, she'll just have to get over the fact that she is not in a hotel, and that there are other patients that needed taking care of.

Over the course of almost 10 years in nursing, I have gone through what you have. But you know what? for every complaint I got (no matter how privolous--yes, somebody actually complained that there was something about me they didn't like) there are a dozen praises from other patients.

So, cheer up. for all you know the other six are probably speaking highly of you.

christvs, DNP, RN, NP · Jul 21, 2005

I feel so awful, and I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I can't help it! This was the second night I took care of this woman, and I thought I developed a decent relationship with her. I always brought her pain meds right when she asked, paged the doc when her pain meds weren't helping her...really advocated for her. The second night I had her though, she must have been in a bad mood...or something? I get in there at 8pm to see how she is doing, she mentions her foley bag, and does it need to be emptied. I say its only about 1/4 full, and the nursing assistant will be around about every 4 hours to empty it...not to worry, it wouldn't overfill. I suppose I could have emptied it right then, however it was not necessary....it was 8pm, a very busy time on the unit, I'm busy trying to check up on all of my 7 patients, do assessments on some of them, and give out meds, etc. Plus I had already delegated this task to someone else, it just wasn't priority. I also thought I explained this to her in a kind enough manner so that she would understand....apparently this pissed her off? Also, she mentioned to the charge nurse how her IV was "flinging about" and I didn't bother to tape it down "when it was obvious that should have been done"...I really don't think I'm oblivious to these things, and I never would let her be uncomfortable, how could she think that I was deliberately ignoring her needs? I was just so shocked that come 11pm she is telling my aide that she wants to talk to the charge nurse, then "tells on me", and then I have to give up care of her to the charge nurse....its so embarrassing! I'm so hurt! Its so frustrating too...does this woman have any clue that emptying her 1/4 full foley bag really does not even compare in priority to solving this patients nausea or that patients pain? Sometimes I just wish I could say that to my patients...but I know I can't.... :angryfire Has this happened to anyone? I'd like to hear some stories.....

Wow, I don't think you did anything wrong. I think some patients think they are the only patient a nurse has & that you should drop everything for them. I think it is a good idea to say to a patient (in case something happens again) who asks you to do a minor thing & you don't have time right then , it is perfectly okay to just explain that although you do want to meet her needs, you have an emergency/priority down the hall that needs to be taken care of ASAP & when you're done, then you will return & help her out. I bet it wasn't a personal thing against you-you were probably very nice to her! Also, remember that being sick & in the hospital can be really stressful for patients, & so they may act out & not be the nicest of people at times. Not to excuse her behavior or anything. I'm sure you are a wonderful nurse. I just think we cannot please every person that walks in the door. I'm just curious-what did the charge nurse say to this patient?

-Christine

PeachyOrthoRN, RN · Jul 21, 2005

Please, please try not to take this personally. I know it's hard. I have been "fired" before too. It's not easy especially when you know that you have tried to do everything for the patient. Sometimes there are just things about you that they do not like or you just don't do something fast enough or you say something that you think is innocent and they take the wrong way. Remember you cannot please everyone even though we try so hard. I've had a patient tell me I've thrown syringes at her and had a patient tell me that I didn't care for her at all when I had spent almost the whole night in her room. It doesn't get any easier to hear when a patient complains about their care that you give, but you have try and not take it as a personal attack. Remember that they are at there worst when they are in the hospital and sometimes they take it out on the nurses.

Editorial Team / Admin · Jul 21, 2005

Wow, I don't think you did anything wrong. I think some patients think they are the only patient a nurse has & that you should drop everything for them. I think it is a good idea to say to a patient (in case something happens again) who asks you to do a minor thing & you don't have time right then , it is perfectly okay to just explain that although you do want to meet her needs, you have an emergency/priority down the hall that needs to be taken care of ASAP & when you're done, then you will return & help her out. I bet it wasn't a personal thing against you-you were probably very nice to her! Also, remember that being sick & in the hospital can be really stressful for patients, & so they may act out & not be the nicest of people at times. Not to excuse her behavior or anything. I'm sure you are a wonderful nurse. I just think we cannot please every person that walks in the door. I'm just curious-what did the charge nurse say to this patient?
-Christine

Yes, please do not take it personally. You will have more of this in your career, but, probably more positive comments than negative in your life of servitude.

And, I , too wonder what the charge nurse said........

sbic56, BSN, RN · Jul 21, 2005

When patients act like she did, it is not about you, but about them. Sometimes it's just a way to control a situation when they feel they have none. Hard knowing for certain.You can never tend to every little whim that someone may take issue with...you'd have to be a mind reader to do it. Besides, the complaints she had, were baseless. I'll bet she's "fired" many nurses! I wouldn't give it another thought.

meownsmile, BSN, RN · Jul 21, 2005

These things happen, espeically when the patient feels you arent "tending" to their needs. I completely understand that when you are busy something like emptying a foley isnt high on the list, but patients dont care that you have 6 others.

Sometimes its best to just do the simple things, take a couple extra minutes to meet what they feel are their needs and then move on. Unless you have someone ready to code on you, or another emergency like a patient on the floor, the patient in front of you has to feel like they are your priority.

Dont sweat it, sometimes you cant satisfy some patients no matter what you do for them.

Works2xs · Jul 21, 2005

It sounds like you did everthing you felt was needed and what equated to quality care. Even that last "sacrifice" of being "fired" probably aided in the patient's care. Just a wild thought, but having been stuck in a hospital bed I can easily understand the frustration some folks might feel, especially if in pain and not ambulatory. The action of striking out might have just been something that they did to make them feel as though they have some level of control in their life. So, in the long run, you might entertain the thought that getting hit by that fastball, you took one for the team, and in doing so you continued to provide the care that you were trying to in the first place.

How's that for making lemons into lemonade?

InfoNurse1595 · Jul 21, 2005

Wow, I don't think you did anything wrong. I think some patients think they are the only patient a nurse has & that you should drop everything for them. I think it is a good idea to say to a patient (in case something happens again) who asks you to do a minor thing & you don't have time right then , it is perfectly okay to just explain that although you do want to meet her needs, you have an emergency/priority down the hall that needs to be taken care of ASAP & when you're done, then you will return & help her out. I bet it wasn't a personal thing against you-you were probably very nice to her! Also, remember that being sick & in the hospital can be really stressful for patients, & so they may act out & not be the nicest of people at times. Not to excuse her behavior or anything. I'm sure you are a wonderful nurse. I just think we cannot please every person that walks in the door. I'm just curious-what did the charge nurse say to this patient?
-Christine

I dont' know exactly what the charge nurse said because I was no where near the room. She was actually in the middle of preparing to take another patient down to the ICU, so I'm sure she didn't spend much time on it....she basically just said "well I'll be your nurse tonight". I wish she would have spent the time to explain MY side of things to the patient...but it was late at night, and like I said, she was busy with other PRIORITIES...which of course I can understand. I SO wanted to go in there and tell the patient exactly what the deal was....(of course I never would do that!)

InfoNurse1595 · Jul 21, 2005

These things happen, espeically when the patient feels you arent "tending" to their needs. I completely understand that when you are busy something like emptying a foley isnt high on the list, but patients dont care that you have 6 others.
Sometimes its best to just do the simple things, take a couple extra minutes to meet what they feel are their needs and then move on. Unless you have someone ready to code on you, or another emergency like a patient on the floor, the patient in front of you has to feel like they are your priority.
Dont sweat it, sometimes you cant satisfy some patients no matter what you do for them.

Of course I didn't have another patient about to code, but regardless....I didn't think it was SO important to her that I empty the foley. If I saw/heard that from her, I would have done it....no big deal. I like to think that I do give good customer service, and if I see that its important for this patient to always have a cup of water and a cup of ice at her bedside...or for that patient to have her night time meds EXACTLY at 9pm...I try my best to meet those small needs just to make them happy...as long as it doesn't severly hinder my care towards the other patients...I don't know, maybe this was just some weird isolated case where the patient and I clashed...I guess I'll get over it :) Thanks for the advice

christvs, DNP, RN, NP · Jul 21, 2005

I dont' know exactly what the charge nurse said because I was no where near the room. She was actually in the middle of preparing to take another patient down to the ICU, so I'm sure she didn't spend much time on it....she basically just said "well I'll be your nurse tonight". I wish she would have spent the time to explain MY side of things to the patient...but it was late at night, and like I said, she was busy with other PRIORITIES...which of course I can understand. I SO wanted to go in there and tell the patient exactly what the deal was....(of course I never would do that!)

One more thing-I think that just by the fact that you were feeling so hurt by this patient's actions shows how caring you are & what a compassionate nurse you are. This patient acted too hastily & lost out on a great nurse! :)

InfoNurse1595 · Jul 21, 2005

One more thing-I think that just by the fact that you were feeling so hurt by this patient's actions shows how caring you are & what a compassionate nurse you are. This patient acted too hastily & lost out on a great nurse! :)

Thank you very much, that is very sweet. You guys are great, I'm feeling better already. :)