My mom has Pancreatic Cancer

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · May 5, 2010

Very sorry to hear this, I just found out my Uncle has cancer last month and he is getting Chemo and Radiation before surgery, it had mets to his nodes. Anyway, it's very hard to handle especially when it's your mom. Get through this for her. Wishing her a happy outcome and hoping you will have the support you need also :)

Intern67 · May 5, 2010

I'm very sorry to hear of your mom's diagnosis. It appears you are doing exactly what you should be doing - gathering support and assessing and addressing your demands and responsibilities. Just like your mom wants you to.

Keep thinking positive and being proactive. I wish you and your mom the best!

shortnorthstudent · May 5, 2010

I too am sorry to learn of your mom's diagnosis. I have had 2 people close to me diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the past 18 months. If the doctors think it's operable, that is good news. I agree with a poster above.

rxy1223 · May 14, 2010

mom is having her whipple surgery a week fr saturday. thanks for the kind words guys! please keep sending good thoughts our way!

Nepenthe Sea · May 14, 2010

I am so sorry for you and your family. I just went through this myself. My dad was diagnosed with squamous cell lung carcinoma about 7 weeks ago, and two weeks later we were told it had metastasized. He was given 6 months. I was about halfway through my third semester of nursing school. We had to put him in a nursing home so that he could get round-the-clock care, and he deteriorated quickly. He went to hospice a few weeks later, and died five days after he was admitted (last week). My instructors and classmates were very supportive of me, too. I had finals this week, but luckily, since I went in with an A in my lecture classes, I didn't have to study for the final exams. That really helped, because I just could NOT focus.

The funny thing is that just as my dad was being diagnosed with cancer, we started studying oncology in my med surg class. And next semester, our first med surg module is all about end-of-life care, and we have an EOL simulation. It's going to be tough.

All I can say is hang in there. I'm sure that's what your mom would want. Spend as much time as you can with her, but try not to neglect your studies. I used to take a book and study when hanging out with my dad, since he spent most of the time sleeping and resting. If talking to your classmates makes you feel better, by all means, talk to them. I'm sorry I don't have better advice. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Always_Learning, BSN, RN · May 14, 2010

First of all, hugs to you. I know how scary a cancer diagnosis can be, as my husband was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer right at the beginning of my second semester of nursing school. (Marvelous timing, eh?) But, I believe everything happens for a reason, and if not for school and something to keep my mind busy, I probably would've been unbearable. My hubby, like your Mom, threatened my life if I even considered dropping out of school. Don't let the whole guilt thing get you either ("I should be doing thus and so for my Mom instead of studying.") Nursing seems to be what you want and what your Mom wants for you, so continue to work on that.

First, as you've already mentioned, make your professors aware of the situation. I've found that mine were extremely flexible, allowing me to take tests early or whatever was needed to so I could be with my husband during treatments. I was always sure to e-mail them if I planned to be absent, also asking if there was anything I needed to pick up or make up. I was very proactive, and they were very supportive.

On a practical note, take your recorded lectures and/or textbooks if you go with your Mom to treatments; you can get a lot done. For my hubby's first chemo treatment, I was all keyed up and watching everything they did, but it quickly falls into a routine, and you can get a lot done during hours-long treatment sessions. (My husband normally fell asleep during chemo, so I got a lot of reading done.) :lol2:

Sometimes it can feel like something of a burden to be a nursing student or a nurse and know - to a certain extent - what is coming (ya know that old saying that ignorance is bliss?) But you are also in a unique position to advocate for your Mom, and I find that to be a blessing. You can speak up and ask questions and take notes and do all of that to support her, as I have been able to do for my husband.

Lastly, a quote I found and that I love: "Cancer is a word, not a sentence." It doesn't feel that way at first, but I have learned to "let go" and take one day at a time. What else can ya do? It's a big adjustment, and for a while I felt angry at not having my "normal life" anymore. But in the end, there is no "normal life," there's just life, and you live it! So I hope somewhere in here is a bit of encouragement. My husband has been through nearly 5 months of tests, surgeries, chemo, and radiation, so I have been in your shoes (or some nearly the same size, let's say.) Best wishes to you and your Mom; let me know if you need anything else. :redpinkhe

TakeTwoAspirin, MSN, RN, APRN · May 14, 2010

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

You have received some good advice about how to cope with school, and spend as much time as you can with your mom. I just want to urge you to be kind to yourself too during this time. Being in nursing school is exhausting. Having a sick parent is exhausting. I know it will be extremely difficult, but please give yourself permission to step away from both of these things on occasion and do something that is good for your soul that doesn't concern either your mother's illness or your school activities.

Please take care of yourself, and learn to lean on those around you when you need support for yourself.

CrunchyMama, ASN, RN · May 14, 2010

I'm so sorry! I hope she pulls through! Keep us updated!

I'm sorry Nepenthe for your loss...must've been so hard!

To Always Learning, good luck to your husband...he seems like a fighter!

MrsLRJ · May 14, 2010

We just got the news this am, its malignant pan can ( how can something with SUCH a cute nickname be so evil?????). The tumor is 2.5 x 2.5 x 2 cm and its on the WORST possible place. The drs think it is operable, then she would have chemo and radiation. I have a year left in RN school, and my mom will shoot or otherwise maim me if i quit. Thankfully I had turned in ALL my care plans, papers, etc. I just have a psych hesi tomorrow. And my profs are being super supportive. What I need from you guys is prayers, good thoughts, and ideas on how to cope, what to do, anything... I just feel so stressed normally bc of school and work and everything and this is like WAY worse.
thanks for listening....
Kelly :):redbeathe

"my prayers go out to you and your family right now." It is going to be really tough to focus at times but try to remain positive and keep up the good work so you can report positive feedback to your mom, i know she will be proud of you for making through rn school and it gives her something else to focus on besides the cancer.:redbeathe:nurse:

Cynders · May 14, 2010

I am so sorry for your mom's diagnosis. I will definitely send up some prayers for your family.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · May 17, 2010

(((((hugs)))))

I'll keep you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers.