My husband won't let me do bed baths

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I told my husband that we are doing bed baths in lab on Friday. He looked at me strange and asked me why on earth I would want to do that. I told him that it is just something you do as a nurse. He looked at me weird and I told him we would be in shorts and a tank top. He said "Your not letting some guy practice on you!" I told him that it was a medical professional think and that it was not like the male student would be turned on or something. He said that the guy could and that no guy was giving me a sponge bath. I asked, "what if I was in an accident and in the hospital and they had to give me a bath?" and he said "I would give you a bath":madface: Has any one hand any problems with this? I better not tell him that eventually we will be learning to do cathaters...on males...

Specializes in PICU, ICU, Transplant, Trauma, Surgical.

Okay, you all have to do bedbaths on eachother? WHAT? We practiced on manequins when we were doing bedbaths... and I attend an all women's college. Odd. And as far as bedbaths on real patients goes, my boyfriend is more of a "oh that sucks for you" attitude.

I'm sorry your husband is reacting that way.

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Specializes in cardiac/critical care/ informatics.

Why are so many people surprised by the fact that a nursing school is doing bed baths on real people. It teaches the nurse to be more respectful and understanding because you are put in the place of the patient having to have a bed bath done you learn the humility. Yes you can practice on a mannaquin but nothing is like the real thing.

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Lets turn it around… If your husband came home and said, "… Oh honey I had to give my secretary a back rub today…" Would you not be peeved off?

Ok perhaps backrub is a bad example….. I think that might be in our sexual harassment handbook...

However I think castration is a little harsh…

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Specializes in Peds Cardiology,Peds Neuro,Pedi ER,PICU, IV Jedi.

I'm with Marielpn on this one. You do what you NEED to do, his opinion be damned...sounds as if he's a bit controlling, IMHO, he'll just hafta get over it.

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Specializes in Telemetry, OR, ICU.
...However, I think castration is a little harsh...

Agreed!

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Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.
OMG, men are just awful, awful, awful, and this guy should be castrated. :rolleyes:

Give me a break, LOL. This husband is probably nothing more than an insecure, young, ignorant, jealous husband. He justs needs to be told the facts... its professional & nothing more & nothing less. Advising the OP via telling her how awful her husband must be for such a drastic statement is certainly not helping matters for her. She was asking for some constructive input, LOL.

Thanks for your advise on my bed bath issue. You have the most constructive responses and a lot of them make sense. I mentioned this to another guy in class and he also mentioned DH sounded insecure. I think he can change. Until a few years ago he did not even want me to go to school. He wanted me to have a desk job until we decided to have kids. He grew up with his mom always at home who never had a job (other than being a mom) He is the second of 13 if that gives you a picture. I am an only child and come from a family of college graduates (at least on my mother's side...vetranarian, commissioner, pharmacist, teacher, lobbyist, state senetor)....Its what I know and it is what I want. Sorry, I went on more than you wanted to know.

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Case Management, also OR/OB.

My favorite way of saying it is as follows: Put on your big boy briefs, and get on over it!

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Specializes in Telemetry, OR, ICU.
Thanks for your advise on my bed bath issue. You have the most constructive responses and a lot of them make sense. I mentioned this to another guy in class and he also mentioned DH sounded insecure. I think he can change. Until a few years ago he did not even want me to go to school. He wanted me to have a desk job until we decided to have kids. He grew up with his mom always at home who never had a job (other than being a mom) He is the second of 13 if that gives you a picture. I am an only child and come from a family of college graduates (at least on my mother's side...vetranarian, commissioner, pharmacist, teacher, lobbyist, state senetor)....Its what I know and it is what I want. Sorry, I went on more than you wanted to know.

No, actually your post brings more light to the end of the tunnel. I think ya'll will be just fine with a nice sit down conversation and give him a little time to come to his 21st Century senses. ;)

BTW, my pleasure to help. :)

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Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.
Lets turn it around... If your husband came home and said, "... Oh honey I had to give my secretary a back rub today..." Would you not be peeved off?

If his career was in massage therapy or daily back rubs for the job were required as a function of the job.... no problem. If he was a lawyer or a CPA, there might be an issue. But then my SOs and those they work with, I trust....or they would not be my SO. So even then, probably no issue

You see, bed baths are an expected and required part of a nurse's job. You cannot expect your spouse to go to nursing school and to never have to bath someone. Back rubs for your secretary are not a necessary and required for her to do her work, and most places not a required part of the job.

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Kind of off-topic, but I still wonder why the nursing school does it like this. Ours did it too, and we were just embarrassed to be in shorts and washing each other's cellulite. But seriously, I wondered why we couldn't have just done mannekins? If it was to have real person practice, then without doing the really embarrassing parts (which we didn't- thankfully!!), what new thing did anyone learn? Who on earth hasn't washed someone's back or helped a grandma put cream on her legs, or some such other related experience? What the heck did we learn from each other in shorts that we couldn't have learned on a mannekin? Seemed a silly exercise to me and about as fun and arousing as receiving an enema...but back to husband issue...best that you help him get a better idea of what nursing is all about-SOON. You won't want to be having these kinds of battles over every new skill or real life experience in nursing clinicals!

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Kind of off-topic, but I still wonder why the nursing school does it like this. Ours did it too, and we were just embarrassed to be in shorts and washing each other's cellulite. But seriously, I wondered why we couldn't have just done mannekins? If it was to have real person practice, then without doing the really embarrassing parts (which we didn't- thankfully!!), what new thing did anyone learn? Who on earth hasn't washed someone's back or helped a grandma put cream on her legs, or some such other related experience? What the heck did we learn from each other in shorts that we couldn't have learned on a mannekin? Seemed a silly exercise to me and about as fun and arousing as receiving an enema...but back to husband issue...best that you help him get a better idea of what nursing is all about-SOON. You won't want to be having these kinds of battles over every new skill or real life experience in nursing clinicals!

I think that one reason is so that we will be more aware of whats it's like to be on the side. (of the patient)

We will be doing bed baths as well as several other procedures on each other. I might have a different opinion once I actually have to do them on classmates but as of right now I think that it is better to practice on a real person than on a mannequin. It makes it much more real, we need to be comfortable touching other people, it's all part of the job. Just my 2 cents!

As for my SO telling me I'm not allowed to do something, I would tell him that he must have lost his mind. I'm not his property. Actually I would probably tell him if he didn't want me to wash my male classmates then he could come in and let the me and the whole class practice on him. Maybe then he would realise how embarrassed he would be and that there is nothing sexual about it. Thankfully my boyfriend is my biggest cheerleader (actually I think it's a tie with my mom) he is such a big support and he is so proud of me whenever I accomplish something or pass another test. I'm really lucky!!

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Back rubs for your secretary are not a necessary and required for her to do her work, and most places not a required part of the job.

They arn't... ohhh man have I been conned... Just kinning :rotfl:

My wife got to experience bed bath day one of her clinical... Twice... From what she described it was NOT sexy... Luckily for us her white uniform stayed clean...

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