This might get a little long, and windy. I am sorry. I'm going to start off by explaining last Sunday that I worked, as I feel this is the main problem. It was the 4 or 5 really bad shift for me. We started with 8 patients/nurse (very very extreme for our floor). And ER started calling for admits. The oncall MD was rounding, and I made the offhand comment to him that it was too much to deal with, and I didn't feel it was safe for the patients. This put him in an uproar. Next thing I knew he called the ER doc, informed him he would not except any more admits to our floor, and he also called the admin on call, who he demanded come help us. She had worked the previous night due to call-ins.
Now, the friday before was my yearly eval. I was graded as a "role-model" employee, and my manager offered no compliants at all about my performance. I was also given a 5% raise due to my high quality work. I was also told my co-workers enjoyed working with me, and patients had good things to say about my care.
Now, let's fast forward to Tuesday, my first day at work since "black Sunday" as we are calling it. It is a much better day. Four patients that I can pet and pamper all I want. And I'm happy. At 4pm I was called to the DON's office. There sits the DON, and both assistant managers, including the one that just praised me Friday. These are the things I was told
"A large majority" of my co-workers on my floor complain about my poor attitude, and state I always complian
"All of the ICU nurse" hate to have to call me about a patient, because I never take care of the situation, and I am rude.
I had received numerous complaints from patients. When I pushed further, they were only able to name one patient's WIFE, who was only in room with the patient for twenty minutes after his admit. She informed me when I first entered the room that we were terrible nurses, and she would be talking to the DON--all before I ever opened my mouth. I immediatly informed management.
I was told the MD from weekend had informed them I was rude, and constantly complianed about the worked load. Well, maybe I was a little ill, and maybe I did complian. So did the other two nurses and everyone else on shift. Who wouldn't complain with 8 patients, 4 total cares, and not a tech in sight to assist?
Also, was informed I had no right to complain about "bad shifts" that were shortstaffed because its wasn't the norm. Those days were to be expected.
Made the comment that "some people will complain if you give them two patients. We think you might be one of those people, and it will not be tolerated".
Also stated "all the unit sec" said I was "snappy" when they called to report patient needs". We only have two sec, and one is my mom. The other says she has never complianed about anyone, much less me.
Now, since then I have spoken to many of my co-workers, including 5 ICU nurses. They have all been shocked by what was said, and stated they have never had a problem with me, and never heard anyone else complain about me. The MD stated he informed them I was "nervous and frazzled" which "wasn't my usual", and he was concerned about the staffing level, and he expressed that he was not happy with them leaving us like that.
Also, I have complained very rarely to management. The only other time I have complianed about staffing was a couple of weeks ago when we had 7 patients with no tech, and the supervisor had not attempted to find any help. Our manager helped us, and I thanked her--we even give them a thank you card for their help.
This just really upsets me. I have always been more then willing to help when I could. I have worked my tail off to be the best I could be, even when shorthanded. And I get along with everyone; I have talked to some about leaving, and they have begged me to stay. I just don't understand why this happened. I felt attacked, and I felt like my character was picked apart. It was very degrading. I have worked there 4 years without a single problem. I'm just a little lost right now.
I've been there also- I almost totally agree with Vegas, but odds are you will have the same problem in your next job, and jobhopping is hard on the nerves and the reputation.
I want to point out that every one of your coworkers, the secretaries, and the doc is backing you up on what happened that day. Yes, it was a miserable day, and Yes, you did right by your patients, and actually you did right by the hospital by stopping unsafe care. (Damned if they will admit it though.) You did a good job.
As for your entry in the bad attitude club- well welcome home babe! We're glad to have you!. Amazingly, if they fired everyone with a bad attitude at my workplace there wouldn't be much of a hospital left. I for one, consider "attitude" a desirable quality in my coworkers. But then I'm a night ER nurse, and you know how weird we can get.
or your husband could write an article about the horrid staffing, discrimination (in my case being white on a black floor), emotional abuse and disrespect to the local paper that nurses face on a certain floor in a certain hospital (esp. in a small town!). That turned some heads! They stayed away from me - I found out about it AFTER the fact, but it left an impression!!!
I've been there also- I almost totally agree with Vegas, but odds are you will have the same problem in your next job, and jobhopping is hard on the nerves and the reputation.
I want to point out that every one of your coworkers, the secretaries, and the doc is backing you up on what happened that day. Yes, it was a miserable day, and Yes, you did right by your patients, and actually you did right by the hospital by stopping unsafe care. (Damned if they will admit it though.) You did a good job.
As for your entry in the bad attitude club- well welcome home babe! We're glad to have you!. Amazingly, if they fired everyone with a bad attitude at my workplace there wouldn't be much of a hospital left. I for one, consider "attitude" a desirable quality in my coworkers. But then I'm a night ER nurse, and you know how weird we can get.
or your husband could write an article about the horrid staffing, discrimination (in my case being white on a black floor), emotional abuse and disrespect of other nurses, to the local paper, that nurses face on a certain floor in a certain hospital (esp. in a small town!). That turned some heads! They stayed away from me - I found out about it AFTER the fact, but it left an impression!!! :heartbeat
or your husband could write an article about the horrid staffing, discrimination (in my case being white on a black floor), emotional abuse and disrespect to the local paper that nurses face on a certain floor in a certain hospital (esp. in a small town!). That turned some heads! They stayed away from me - I found out about it AFTER the fact, but it left an impression!!!
As someone who experienced mamny years during which females were victims of discrimination, and joined the legions of feminists who have changed that scene considerably, I'm very concerned that some of you younger Nurses think you need to speak through your man. Surely today's world accepts a woman's voice almost as readily as a man's! (Although the Hillary/Obama conflict has put us back and/or raised the sex discrimination monster).:argue:
As someone who experienced mamny years during which females were victims of discrimination, and joined the legions of feminists who have changed that scene considerably, I'm very concerned that some of you younger Nurses think you need to speak through your man. Surely today's world accepts a woman's voice almost as readily as a man's! (Although the Hillary/Obama conflict has put us back and/or raised the sex discrimination monster).:argue:
Let me be clear. I worked in a small hospital in North Carolina where being white was the minority. From the word go, the floor I worked on treated me horribly. I dealt with it, talked with my manager, all to no avail. I would come home and be at a loss - having nightmares, being angry, and not knowing how to make it stop. Nothing made it stop - the anger of this area was very deep. My manager was white and I'm sure she didn't want to touch any problems that might stir the majority. So my husband, like I wrote, I found out had written an article about reverse discrimination and something about a hospital needing to value people, not to be divisive, and to treat each other with respect. I was initially angry, only because this small town happens to read the paper, and I was afraid that I would not be able to keep my job or find another within this hospital (the only one). I just knew there was going to be retaliation because he SIGNED HIS NAME and my last name is not common in that town. So that's the story. And it's nice you might be very concerned about what some younger nurses may think, but I absolutely do not. It was also very nice that my husband felt that in some way, by writing a piece to the paper that he could possibly make a difference with reverse discrimination and how it was affecting the nurses within the hospital. I understood where he was coming from - not coming to my aid, certainly, but he wanted to ease my suffering. I would do the same for him - and tell him after, only because a woman standing up for her man would be called a "meddler." We love each other and want each other to be professionally happy.
Specializes in peds critical care, peds GI, peds ED.
WHOOOAH NELLIE!
It looks like we have left the original conversation and jumped down at least 10 rabbit holes, including age (new nurse vs. old nurse), race, feminism, marriage! Either we need to start fresh threads or focus on the original topic- helping a fellow nurse who was hurting from an unfair situation.
I would never attempt to squash the freedom of thought that occurs when intelligent professionals come together in such a forum as this. We would all do well to remember our words carry power, so we need to use them wisely.
From reading the previous posts, it seems there are so many different perspectives being expressed. Maybe we should consider creating new designated threads for each of the above topics. They are each of significant importance and deserve due attention.
It looks like we have left the original conversation and jumped down at least 10 rabbit holes, including age (new nurse vs. old nurse), race, feminism, marriage! Either we need to start fresh threads or focus on the original topic- helping a fellow nurse who was hurting from an unfair situation.
I would never attempt to squash the freedom of thought that occurs when intelligent professionals come together in such a forum as this. We would all do well to remember our words carry power, so we need to use them wisely.
From reading the previous posts, it seems there are so many different perspectives being expressed. Maybe we should consider creating new designated threads for each of the above topics. They are each of significant importance and deserve due attention.
For now.... can't we all just have a group hug?
Whooooah nellie is right - the comment about men coming to the aid of women? (nothing to do with women's lib, feminism, etc ) Was out of line, and off the mark... big time. My point was merely that my hubby was doing something kind for his wife (albeit without her knowing) who was being mistreated. Sweet. :redbeathe
Who knows what the original discussion was about by now.....
I guess the patients at that hospital in NC were mostly African American, too. What a rich cultural experience! I take it you've moved elsewhere......
Husbands who are writers are few, and its a gift he gives you, it seems, when he writes something that he hopes will improve your situation. HOWEVER, the females who went before you struggled greatly to push aside those males who went where they thought females feared to go. That kept us down, thinking only males could represent us effectively. That's why government is composed mostly of males, and "good old boys clubs". Cliques are hard to fight.
The next time you chose a new place to live, I'll bet you investigated all aspects of it (not to say a white ghetto is any better than an African American one). You are "blessed" to have someone who loves you so much, he can't stand by while you're made miserable, without letting the whole immediate world know his view of it. It would be better if you collaberated about the action needed, though.
Next time you're in a fix, you could write something, that's from you, taking responsibility for improving your own life
Whooooah nellie is right - the comment about men coming to the aid of women? (nothing to do with women's lib, feminism, etc ) Was out of line, and off the mark... big time. My point was merely that my hubby was doing something kind for his wife (albeit without her knowing) who was being mistreated. Sweet. :redbeathe
Who knows what the original discussion was about by now.....
It was about abuse from those in charge, and the attitude(s) resulting from that. Branching into the female/male, old/young, attitudes/experience etc. was a natural progression, I thought, that could benefit us all. :loveya:
Husbands who are writers are few, and its a gift he gives you, it seems, when he writes something that he hopes will improve your situation. HOWEVER, the females who went before you struggled greatly to push aside those males who went where they thought females feared to go. That kept us down, thinking only males could represent us effectively. That's why government is composed mostly of males, and "good old boys clubs". Cliques are hard to fight.
The next time you chose a new place to live, I'll bet you investigated all aspects of it (not to say a white ghetto is any better than an African American one). You are "blessed" to have someone who loves you so much, he can't stand by while you're made miserable, without letting the whole immediate world know his view of it. It would be better if you collaberated about the action needed, though.
Next time you're in a fix, you could write something, that's from you, taking responsibility for improving your own life
oh, i soooo disagree w/your sentiments.
you are taking on a very general, feminist view as it pertains to an interdependent couple who are clearly devoted and concerned for ea other.
2 different ballgames altogether.
massed's husband is not writing on behalf of "the little woman":
but rather, on a contextual basis of reverse discrimination, and also as it relates to his wife.
my husband is always asking me to write things on his behalf, solely because he stinks at writing.
does that make me the witch who wears the pants in the family???
relax, lamaze.
this has nothing to do w/women's lib or regression.
but it has everything to do w/a committed couple looking out for one another, as well as conveying a very important, generalized message.
I guess the patients at that hospital in NC were mostly African American, too. What a rich cultural experience! I take it you've moved elsewhere......
Husbands who are writers are few, and its a gift he gives you, it seems, when he writes something that he hopes will improve your situation. HOWEVER, the females who went before you struggled greatly to push aside those males who went where they thought females feared to go. That kept us down, thinking only males could represent us effectively. That's why government is composed mostly of males, and "good old boys clubs". Cliques are hard to fight.
The next time you chose a new place to live, I'll bet you investigated all aspects of it (not to say a white ghetto is any better than an African American one). You are "blessed" to have someone who loves you so much, he can't stand by while you're made miserable, without letting the whole immediate world know his view of it. It would be better if you collaberated about the action needed, though.
Next time you're in a fix, you could write something, that's from you, taking responsibility for improving your own life
I appreciate your point of view, and yes, I'm fortunate to have a wonderful marriage full of balance and wanting the best for each other. There are good 'ol boys clubs and definite cliques that will never be penetrated. Ever. If I had ever thought that writing an article could result in a change, I would definitely take that action; but I do not. I think it would have been a waste for thar particular circumstance at that point in time. The good 'ol boys in that town won't stand for change, particularly if it made sense. Can you imagine claiming reverse discrimination in the SOUTH??!!! pleaaasssse. No one wants to touch that in this PC society.
And my response to the bad situation was to acknowledge that some problems may never be fixed, despite repeated attempts to diffuse and correct the situation. I left that department and moved up and on to the ER. Never looked back, except at this moment to reflect on how that situation has inspired me to approach future problems of this magnitude. I will definitely never live in the deep south again, I can tell you that. It's like "The Twilight Zone" and living in a place that was permanently fixed in 1962.
As for your response of "It would be better if you collaberated about the action needed, though," don't forget that I wrote I found out AFTER THE fact about him writing to the newspaper. I don't like anyone to do anything for me but LISTEN, unless I ask for someone to go to battle with me. In my experience, men have a hard time to listen to problems and try not to fix problems.
I used to be offended by the thought of a man taking issue with a problem of mine and wanting to solve it, I do not any longer. I know that some areas of our lives are "a man's world" which is unfortunate, but try negotiating for a car with a male salesperson, then have a man negotiate with the same person and tell me it's not a male society with some things.
As a female in this world, I fight my own battles and many times that is to be viewed as a "*itch" for standing up for yourself, or having a "male attitude" (which is quite interesting.) Rather than be offended, it is a choice to acknowledge the ignorance with a good 'ol boy society and move about in my way to make my own impact. It is just my opinion, but one does not need to subscribe to a feminist point of view to be a successful, professional nurse. I know my capabilities and I know my limitations. I don't believe in all that political correctness, FYI. I don't jump on that bandwagon. I am not offended by a lot of things, either. I do believe that humor is necessary and sarcasm is essential in this world, though I realize not a lot of people believe that. :chuckle
you are taking on a very general, feminist view as it pertains to an interdependent couple who are clearly devoted and concerned for ea other.
2 different ballgames altogether.
massed's husband is not writing on behalf of "the little woman":
but rather, on a contextual basis of reverse discrimination, and also as it relates to his wife.
my husband is always asking me to write things on his behalf, solely because he stinks at writing.
does that make me the witch who wears the pants in the family???
relax, lamaze.
this has nothing to do w/women's lib or regression.
but it has everything to do w/a committed couple looking out for one another, as well as conveying a very important, generalized message.
oy.
leslie
In any close relationship, action taken by one without the knowledge of the other, no matter how wonderful the intention, is one sided and could be destructive. When an issue affects one, it should affect the other, with agreement about the direction the response takes.
When one has a strength the other agrees they haven't, and permission is granted for the person with talent to act for the other, it's appropriate.
As far as feminism is concerned, you had to be there in the '60s to realize just how needed it was (not the anger, the direction). Or have read about the occurrences then that drove women to seek equality on all fronts, just as happenings at the turn of the 20th century influenced "women's sufferage" (what a word!) to get the right to vote .
That aside, you're right, I've always needed to lighten up.......:stone/:clown:
:heartbeat
MassED, BSN, RN
2,636 Posts
or your husband could write an article about the horrid staffing, discrimination (in my case being white on a black floor), emotional abuse and disrespect to the local paper that nurses face on a certain floor in a certain hospital (esp. in a small town!). That turned some heads! They stayed away from me - I found out about it AFTER the fact, but it left an impression!!!