My bad attitude

[jessiern]

This might get a little long, and windy. I am sorry. I'm going to start off by explaining last Sunday that I worked, as I feel this is the main problem. It was the 4 or 5 really bad shift for me. We started with 8 patients/nurse (very very extreme for our floor). And ER started calling for admits. The oncall MD was rounding, and I made the offhand comment to him that it was too much to deal with, and I didn't feel it was safe for the patients. This put him in an uproar. Next thing I knew he called the ER doc, informed him he would not except any more admits to our floor, and he also called the admin on call, who he demanded come help us. She had worked the previous night due to call-ins.

Now, the friday before was my yearly eval. I was graded as a "role-model" employee, and my manager offered no compliants at all about my performance. I was also given a 5% raise due to my high quality work. I was also told my co-workers enjoyed working with me, and patients had good things to say about my care.

Now, let's fast forward to Tuesday, my first day at work since "black Sunday" as we are calling it. It is a much better day. Four patients that I can pet and pamper all I want. And I'm happy. At 4pm I was called to the DON's office. There sits the DON, and both assistant managers, including the one that just praised me Friday. These are the things I was told

• "A large majority" of my co-workers on my floor complain about my poor attitude, and state I always complian
  
• "All of the ICU nurse" hate to have to call me about a patient, because I never take care of the situation, and I am rude.
  
• I had received numerous complaints from patients. When I pushed further, they were only able to name one patient's WIFE, who was only in room with the patient for twenty minutes after his admit. She informed me when I first entered the room that we were terrible nurses, and she would be talking to the DON--all before I ever opened my mouth. I immediatly informed management.
  
• I was told the MD from weekend had informed them I was rude, and constantly complianed about the worked load. Well, maybe I was a little ill, and maybe I did complian. So did the other two nurses and everyone else on shift. Who wouldn't complain with 8 patients, 4 total cares, and not a tech in sight to assist?
  
• Also, was informed I had no right to complain about "bad shifts" that were shortstaffed because its wasn't the norm. Those days were to be expected.
  
• Made the comment that "some people will complain if you give them two patients. We think you might be one of those people, and it will not be tolerated".
  
• Also stated "all the unit sec" said I was "snappy" when they called to report patient needs". We only have two sec, and one is my mom. The other says she has never complianed about anyone, much less me.

Now, since then I have spoken to many of my co-workers, including 5 ICU nurses. They have all been shocked by what was said, and stated they have never had a problem with me, and never heard anyone else complain about me. The MD stated he informed them I was "nervous and frazzled" which "wasn't my usual", and he was concerned about the staffing level, and he expressed that he was not happy with them leaving us like that.

Also, I have complained very rarely to management. The only other time I have complianed about staffing was a couple of weeks ago when we had 7 patients with no tech, and the supervisor had not attempted to find any help. Our manager helped us, and I thanked her--we even give them a thank you card for their help.

This just really upsets me. I have always been more then willing to help when I could. I have worked my tail off to be the best I could be, even when shorthanded. And I get along with everyone; I have talked to some about leaving, and they have begged me to stay. I just don't understand why this happened. I felt attacked, and I felt like my character was picked apart. It was very degrading. I have worked there 4 years without a single problem. I'm just a little lost right now.

[MISTY BODINE]

First of all thank you for the support you have expressed in your replies to this nurse. Every day we go to perform our duty of helping the sick giving the best possible in this day and time, it is never enough. Administration does not stand behind their staff and the families know they can give you attitude and nothing is done. sooooooooooo sad what happen to good old fashion care. somebody should come up with a report card on adminstration and publish it.... At list you would have some idea of staff satisfaction. O this should be divided into different depts to get the full affect. Is everyone being treated the same.

[lamazeteacher]

Exactly. It's an honorable gesture.

Do you still feel that way, knowing that he contacted the Nurse Manager?

That created a situation that ticked off all the Nurses there.......and can you imagine many husbands doing what he did every time their spouses get a raw deal?

[lamazeteacher]

"allowed me to be independent" {quote}

There is a difference, I've learned, between "allowing" independence, and respecting it.

Can you imagine the shoe on the other foot, with a wife writing about her husband's work situation, and calling his boss with a complaint about how things were handled? That's because men's independence is a certainty, not "allowed".

Old feminists die hard...... and you're all right - enough, already!

[anononurse]

So would it be a noble gesture for a wife to 'help' her husband in this way?

[nickola]

"allowed me to be independent" {quote}

There is a difference, I've learned, between "allowing" independence, and respecting it.

Can you imagine the shoe on the other foot, with a wife writing about her husband's work situation, and calling his boss with a complaint about how things were handled? That's because men's independence is a certainty, not "allowed".

Old feminists die hard...... and you're all right - enough, already!

Yes, poor choice of words! I was unable to edit due to the 5 min rule. It took me many years and a few bad choices to find someone who respected my independence.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Do you still feel that way, knowing that he contacted the Nurse Manager?

That created a situation that ticked off all the Nurses there.......and can you imagine many husbands doing what he did every time their spouses get a raw deal?

Like I wrote, I censor what I tell him b/c he's not in this field. I am now in the ER and I don't divulge much to him, as I said. You learn and develop personally and professionally over time in a marriage that some things are seperate, they just are.

It's too exhausting anyway to explain anything in this field to anyone who doesn't understand.... and he only wants to hear about the "good" stuff (traumas). And that means I don't tell him about any of it, because if you don't want to hear and learn all about it, you don't get to hear about the good stuff. :chuckle

It works for us. My mom is a nurse of about 40 years who also had worked in an ER for so long. She's my understanding "professional" person to talk to - she has ben there and seen it all. It's nice to have someone in the same profession to vent to (such as having this forum as well). Remember: you are a seperate person from being a wife, mom, nurturer - you are your own professional person. BTW, I don't like to hear about my husband's job, it's not interesting and it's not in my field.... so we have that understanding! We have been together for 12 years and it is the perfect mix that makes "us" work.

I just sent him a copy of this... so many do not understand this profession:

"For a generation or two, we have lamented the loss of role models in society.

As parents and individuals, we naturally seek out others we would like to emulate. Sadly, a serious search through the popular culture leaves us empty-handed and empty-hearted. Thanks to a long list of legal and moral shenanigans, many entertainers, politicians, and athletes long since abdicated this momentous position of responsibility.

We usually look afar for heroes and role models, and in doing so overlook a group of professionals who live and work in our midst: nurses. And not just any kind of nurse: the emergency nurse. There are plenty of people involved in emergency care, and no emergency department could function without all of these people working as a team. But it is the emergency nurse who shoulders the weight of patient care. Without these modern-day heroes, individually and collectively we would be in quite a pinch.

This unique breed of men and women are the lock stitch in the fabric of our health care safety net. Their job is a physical, emotional, and intellectual challenge.

Who helped the paramedics lift the last 300-pound patient who came in?

Who took the verbal lashing from the curmudgeon giving admitting orders over the phone? Who came to tell you that the guy you ordered the nitro drip for is taking Viagra?

The emergency nurse has the thankless job of sitting in triage while both the long and the short buses unload at once. With limited information, they usually send the patient in the right direction while having to fend off some narcissistic clown with a zit on his butt. They absorb the penetrating stares from weary lobby dwellers and channel all that negative energy to some secret place they only tell you about when you go to triage school.

Other kinds of nurses serve key roles in health care and attend to their patients admirably. However, few function under the gun like emergency nurses do.

It is the emergency nurse who cares for the critical heart failure patient until the intensive care unit is "ready" to accept the patient. The productivity of the emergency nurse expands gracefully to accommodate the endless flow of patients while the rest of the hospital "can't take report." Many of our patients arrive "unwashed." It is the emergency nurse who delivers them "washed and folded." To prepare for admission a patient with a hip fracture who lay in stool for a day requires an immense amount of care--and caring.

Few nurses outside of the emergency department deal with patients who are as cantankerous, uncooperative, and violent. These nurses must deal with patients who are in their worst physical and emotional state. We all know it is a stressful time for patients and family, and we all know who the wheelbarrow is that the shovel dumps into.

For the most part, the nurses expect some of this and carry on in good humor. There are times, however, when the patience of a saint is required.

In fact, I believe that when emergency nurses go to heaven, they get in the fast lane, flash their hospital ID, and get the thumbs-up at the gate. They earn this privilege after being sworn at, demeaned, spit on, threatened, and sometimes kicked, choked, grabbed, or slugged. After this, they go on to the next patient as if they had just stopped to smell a gardenia for a moment.

Great strength of character is required for sustained work in our field. The emergency department is a loud, chaotic, and stressful environment. To hold up under these conditions is no small feat. To care for the deathly ill, comfort suffering children, and give solace to those who grieve their dead takes discipline, stamina, and tenderness. To sit with and console the family of a teenager who just died in an accident takes the strength of 10 men.

Every day emergency nurses do what we are all called to do but find so arduous in practice. That is: to love our neighbors as ourselves. They care for those whom society renders invisible. Emergency nurses do what the man who changed the world 2,000 years ago did. They look squarely in the eye and hold the hand of those most couldn't bear to touch. They wash stinky feet, clean excrement, and smell breath that would give most people nightmares.

And they do it with grace.

So, here's to the emergency nurse. Shake the hand of a hero before your next shift."

DR. BAEHREN lives in Ottawa Hills, Ohio, and practices emergency medicine. He is the author of "Roads to Hilton Head Island." He welcomes your feedback at [email protected].

[MassED, BSN, RN]

So would it be a noble gesture for a wife to 'help' her husband in this way?

depends on the circumstances - men aren't usually in this profession (a minority) and wouldn't encounter a lot of the BS that women face with other women, which is sad... they just don't. I was in the military and worked mostly with men and it was no nonsense, no drama... it is so much easier.

My husband would say "why don't you just beat the S**T out of her" ha. See? Different responses. For the record, the guys I work with aren't treated anywhere near as badly as women are treated by the other women that work there with them. It's unfair - we infight amongst each other. It bites, really. :angryfire

I'm glad I have two boys because I hate drama - I like to be honest, do the job, admit when I'm wrong and move on. Period. I stick up for those that I feel are being wronged, usually when not asked. I feel it's a duty to put your neck out there when it's something you believe in.

[nickola]

depends on the circumstances - men aren't usually in this profession (a minority) and wouldn't encounter a lot of the BS that women face with other women, which is sad... they just don't. I was in the military and worked mostly with men and it was no nonsense, no drama... it is so much easier.

My husband would say "why don't you just beat the S**T out of her" ha. See? Different responses. For the record, the guys I work with aren't treated anywhere near as badly as women are treated by the other women that work there with them. It's unfair - we infight amongst each other. It bites, really. :angryfire

I'm glad I have two boys because I hate drama - I like to be honest, do the job, admit when I'm wrong and move on. Period. I stick up for those that I feel are being wronged, usually when not asked. I feel it's a duty to put your neck out there when it's something you believe in.

My 2 brothers & a brother-in-law are teachers- they put up w/a lot everyday- from both students & parents. They do their share of venting at home, however, they would not appreciate their wives taking matters into their own hands.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

My 2 brothers & a brother-in-law are teachers- they put up w/a lot everyday- from both students & parents. They do their share of venting at home, however, they would not appreciate their wives taking matters into their own hands.

This is a bit different than teachers, students, and parents. They wouldn't appreciate their wives taking their own matters into their hands? Well anyway, refer to my previous posts. This is quite old.

[anononurse]

This is a bit different than teachers, students, and parents. They wouldn't appreciate their wives taking their own matters into their hands? Well anyway, refer to my previous posts. This is quite old.

Not really different no matter what field, if you're talking about racial issues & equality, which you said was the case at your job. The bottom line is my wife & I have separate careers, and altho we discuss things at home, & even bounce ideas off each other & ask for advice, we have enough mutual respect for each other not to meddle in work issues.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

Not really different no matter what field, if you're talking about racial issues & equality, which you said was the case at your job. The bottom line is my wife & I have separate careers, and altho we discuss things at home, & even bounce ideas off each other & ask for advice, we have enough mutual respect for each other not to meddle in work issues.

hmmmmm, not really liking your written tone or lack of understanding - have you read the previous posts? See what earle58 wrote, as she gets it - it sounds like you just do not. Sorry. I don't feel any need to continue beating a dead horse with this topic.

[anononurse]

My point is simply this: If my wife wrote a letter to the paper about issues that could be obviously traced to my work & issues I was having there, I wouldn't like it. Nor would she like it if I did that to her. Race & equality are not exclusive to nursing.