More Things I Have Learned Over The Years

Nurses Humor


1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!)

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . . They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Hey! Ya know, if I live to be 100, I'll be one really smart a$$:D

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

108 Articles; 9,984 Posts

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I love these, Fran!! :rotfl:

live4today, RN

5,099 Posts

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


828 Posts

never put off until tomorrow what you can do today, if you like it today you can do it tomorrow as well!

laughing weasel

227 Posts

If you think that you are too old, too uneducated or that you have too little time remember that it was a thirty-year-old Jewish carpenter that founded Christianity. He did it in three years.


190 Posts

"Our marriage license turned out to be a learner's permit"

-Joan Rivers

"No coasting. There is only one directions yo u roll in when you coast, and that is downhill."

-Mama Gena

"You've got to learn to accept the fool in you as well as the part that's got it goin' on"

-Tyra Banks

"Both men and women are fallible. The difference is, women know it."

-Eleanor Bron

"I only have temperamental outbursts a year -- each lasts six months."

-Tallulah Bankhead

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