Hello! This is going to be a lengthy post, so please bare with me. I am 26 years old. I had my first son who will soon be 8 when I was 19, and in college. I started nursing school when he was a newborn, but didn't finish because of my circumstances at the time. I went on to work as a medical assistant when he was a toddler, for a few years. I LOVED my job, but wasn't all to happy about working full time (at times), but I did what I had to. We then moved out of state due to my husbands job and I had my second son who turned 2 recently. I have now been a stay at home mom for 3 years. Now that my youngest son is out of those baby days, I am really starting to miss nursing so badly. (no way could I have left him as a baby for school or work if I didn't have to :)!) I thought I had my mind made up that I was going to do what I could to get myself into nursing school! And I got so excited about it! But...I have always wanted at least 3 kids, and am really wanting to try for a girl at some point, and this is where I run into a problem.
So, I have been going back and forth with having another baby (so it and my youngest would be close in age at least), or going back to school to finally finish what I started. I have such big dreams as far as having a career, yet I want to have a family as well. I feel confident that I could get through nursing school in my current situation (determination!!), but I am so afraid I will regret waiting to have another baby and having all my children 5+yrs apart. I know this is a totally personal decision, but I am just having so much conflict with making a decision! ( my husband is fine with whatever I decide) If I have a baby, that will put me close to 3 yrs before I could even think about school again, and if I go to school, that will put me having more kids in my 30s (eek??) I have been working from home doing a job that I hate so that I could be home with my kids, and because daycare is so expensive...the amount i would make not having a degree wouldn't be worth it. I love being home with them, but I have to work (from home) and I feel like I have lost myself! I guess all stay at home moms go through this at some point though :bugeyes:I was really good at my job as a medical assistant, and I just really miss, well...nursing. I know until I get my degree, I will be haunted! LOL! Every time I think I have my mind made up, I change it! AHH!
Anyway, if it were you...and you wanted more kids, but afraid of having them all spaced out...but reaaaally wanted to get your nursing degree, what would you choose?? I am sure I sound crazy...sorry! Guess, I just want to have my cake and eat it too! Ugh!
If you have any input, I would be ever so appreciative if you would share it with me! Thanks so much:)
Sounds like you have a lot going on as it is. This is coming from a 24 year old with no kids but planning on getting pregnant in about 18 months! lol. I say go back to school for nursing asap! after your second year, start trying to get pregnant and ta-da, by the time you graduate, you'll have a baby! You will only be holding off for maybe 2 years from now before getting pregnant. If you get accepted into clinicals right away since you have all of your pre-reqs done. It will only take you two years to get your ADN! so basically, you could start trying to get pregnant half-ways through nursing school. Believe me when I say I really want my first child, but I also know its smarter for me to get my RN first. I am an LPN who is currently enrolled through excelsior college for my RN. By the time I graduate and have my life a little bit more situated I'll be trying for a baby! Its really not that uncommon anymore for people to have their kids spread out and for people to be having kids in their 30s-40s. I would love it if I had a kid right now, but I know that if I wait, my kids and family wont suffer as much. and the way nursing is going right now, who knows what the job market might be like in 6 years. Today is the day to finish off what you started years ago! good luck with your decision! Let us know what you decide!!
When I went to nursing school, my kids were 1 and 4. My husband and I moved back in with my parents so that we could save money and have help with the kids so that I could study as much as I needed to. It was the longest and also shortest 2 years of my life.
In my opinion, I think you should have your 3rd baby before going back to nursing school. Like so many people have said, nursing will be here for you when you're ready for it. If you decide to do nursing school first, how long will you wait before having another baby? If you plan on getting pregnant right away, you would have to take maternity leave before you have even been a nurse for a year. You may have just gotten off orientation! You will still be trying to get the hang of being a nurse and then all of a sudden you will be on leave for 6+ weeks. You probably won't have enough sick time saved for leave either. If you get pregnant before you find a job, possible employers may see the fact that you will be on maternity leave in the near future as a negative, and choose to hire someone else who won't need leave so soon. Ultimately it's your decision. I really wish you and your family the best. Please keep us updated. Best of luck!
I would go to nursing school and forget about another baby. The world is overpopulated and I think people have a social responsibility to limit their families. Unpopular position perhaps, but I don't care. We are destroying the planet for our children and if we really cared for them we would make no more than replacing ourselves and our spouse or even less.
I am terrified of what is happening to the world and sad for the world that I am leaving to my son. If I could do it over again I would not have children at all, even though he is the light of my life and my greatest joy. I just feel sad for the world he has come into. Sorry to burst your bubble. Motherhood is the greatest gift, but because it brings us joy is no reason to bring more people into a crowded world.
I was 29 and pregnant with my first child while going through LPN program. Had him at 30. I was more concerned with being married before having kids but it didnt happen that way. Spacing of kids was never my concern, although I still got a couple more year to decide if I want more. But your decision is really a personal one. You have a husband already, I do not and that is what I'm waiting on before having more kids plus I want to get my RN license before my child is preschool age so I can potentially enroll him in a private school. i was unemployed and finishing up the nursing program when my child was born and I was fortunate enough to reside with my parents who took great care of my child while i attended school and they are taking great care of while I work. But if I was in your shoes with my desires, I would be back in school. I actually am in pursuit of my BSN online.
Well, I'm not a mom yet, so I guess I wasn't supposed to reply lol. All of the suggested ideas are really good, and really, it is a personal decision. Anyway, I was thinking: you could start trying for your next baby once you are accepted into an LPN program. I never did the LPN thing, but I do think they can be finished in just one year....not sure about that, check your local community college. But, you could start nursing school and start trying to have a baby around the same time...maybe try having a baby at least a few months into school so that you'll be done school at only 3 months pregnant or so....(don't know how pregnancy was for you...if it's debilitating for you with morning sickness and all, this might not be the best plan).
But, you could at least have your LPN done, and work PRN as a nurse while your baby is young. LPN is more limiting than an RN, job wise, but that's not to say you couldn't have a rewarding job as an LPN (some hospitals don't hire LPN's anymore; I know mine doesn't, but nursing homes, rehab hospitals, doc offices still use them) Then, you can go back for your RN whenever it's best for your family.
Just a suggestion.....I know when I have a family, which hopefully we'll be starting soon :), I will want to work, as well, but not too much where I can't spend time with the kids. There's something to be said for having a life outside home with adult conversations, too lol. Best of luck to you!! :)
Nursemarion: I understand your point about the world being unsafe, etc for your child, and it's difficult to raise children now, etc. But, actually, fewer and fewer Americans are having babies. Or fewer babies, that is: the average family size is 2 children now or 2.2 or something lol. I wouldn't say America is overpopulated at all. We're doing just fine...yes, some cities of the world are very crowded, but that's how it's been and how it's always been in those places. It's like Lion King, the circle of life lol :): as older people begin to die off, we need lil' babies to replace them and continue families. How are we destroying the planet for our children? The planet can't continue if nobody has children; civilization would end lol (not that we're at risk for people to stop producing, although Russia is having trouble with that; fewer and fewer people over there are having children, and it's going to be a big problem for them). I'm definitely not encouraging people to have children that don't want them; that's never a good idea, and there's nothing wrong with not wanting children, but it's definitely a good thing for people that want children to have them. :)
Wow... I am so thankful for all of your replies! Thank you so much!! All of your stories and suggestions are great. To the posters with twins, WOW!! I could never, ever, have made it! Congrats to you, what an accomplishment:) I am still indecisive at this point. I am just going to keep praying on it for a little while before I make a decision. I would be 28 when I started school next year...so 30 when I graduated. (early 30's having more babies)...or vice versa. I do not have any family (or many friends) close
by to help me...so whatever I decided will be fully on me, which is fine:)
And, I just wanted to make sure you all knew, I do not think there is anything wrong with having kids in your 30's and kudos to the moms that do!!!!...I just started so young, I had hoped to be done by then, is where my "eek" came about lol!! (I know I am young, but I have sure been through a lot through the past 9 years, and in my mind I am old!! LOL!) Who knows! My husband has a really good job, we just have a good bit of debt and such, so that means I will be working doing something for the next few years either way. I would love to work full time for a year or so as a nurse and pay off some things, get a new house, and feel financially secure for a while, then have babies and go prn/per diem!!... If I had the option to completely be a stay at home mom and raise kids solely...I would have no problem making a decision!! I just feel like, If I am going to have to work I would rather be doing something I love and that is fulfilling. I know so many people who arrange it so that they can work from home and still be with their children, but I am telling you...it is challenging!! (I make pretty decent money doing what I am doing, so there is not an option for me to quit at this point:( )I am on the phone/computer practically 6-8hours a day, and I have to figure out how to entertain my son while I am working off and on throughout the day so that he is involved in my day as well... Whew! But, I am thankful nonetheless...still just trying to find my place in this big ole' world! Either way, I know what ever decision I make...it WILL be ok. I just have to make it! LOL! Thanks again!!
Good luck to the OP - whatever her decision is. Seems to have her head screwed on right & I am sure she will be a wonderful nurse if that's the direction chosen.
Just wanted to caution against claiming to have been a "nurse" or to "do nursing" as an MA. This is a protected title, and there are legal ramifications for non-nurses who are representing themselves as nurses or providing 'nursing care'. Non-licensed people are providing patient care..... not nursing care.
If you will have noticed, I was once enrolled in nursing school. That is was I was referring to. I completely understand your post though, but I never claimed to be a "nurse" :)
Mom of 4 here, Started nursing school at 40 after the kids were all in school. by ALL MEANS, Have the babies. Time FLIES. I was just yesterday sitting on the floor playing pat-a-cake with my oldest and BAM she is starting High school. It is very do-able to go to nursing school while your kids are in elementary so you're only talking about putting the nursing school off for 5 years until the baby starts kindergarten. Girl, that 5 years will FLY. In my nursing class when I was 40, believe it or not, I was not the oldest student! I wasn't even in the top 3 oldest. When you are at the end of your life, I'll bet you a hundred bucks you're thinking back about the kids, not the job.
Zadia
49 Posts
Sounds like you have a lot going on as it is. This is coming from a 24 year old with no kids but planning on getting pregnant in about 18 months! lol. I say go back to school for nursing asap! after your second year, start trying to get pregnant and ta-da, by the time you graduate, you'll have a baby! You will only be holding off for maybe 2 years from now before getting pregnant. If you get accepted into clinicals right away since you have all of your pre-reqs done. It will only take you two years to get your ADN! so basically, you could start trying to get pregnant half-ways through nursing school. Believe me when I say I really want my first child, but I also know its smarter for me to get my RN first. I am an LPN who is currently enrolled through excelsior college for my RN. By the time I graduate and have my life a little bit more situated I'll be trying for a baby! Its really not that uncommon anymore for people to have their kids spread out and for people to be having kids in their 30s-40s. I would love it if I had a kid right now, but I know that if I wait, my kids and family wont suffer as much. and the way nursing is going right now, who knows what the job market might be like in 6 years. Today is the day to finish off what you started years ago! good luck with your decision! Let us know what you decide!!