Mommies and daddys in the trauma room.

Published

As a mother, I have to think that if my child were hurt there is no way you could keep me out of the room. That being said, I have worked in the ER, and I do know the importance of staying out of the way and keeping my mouth shut. What are your policies, and how would you respond to someone like me, who knows how to steer clear of you, but refuses to wait in the cry room?

Shawnee

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in er/icu/neuro/trauma/pacu.

Shawnee,

We do not have a specific policy, its up to staff/situation.

If you truly stayed out of the way, kept relatively quiet(a few please gods and hang in there junior, mommy loves yous are ok) and didn't fall on the floor yourself-I personally would and do allow PARENTS/SO to be present, but as soon as you become a distraction somebody better get you out of the room.

Now the downside...the less likely I feel your loved is going to make it, the more likely I'd let you in the room. Oh and if your child is a legal adult and can respond to questions, its up to them.

Actually threw a Mom out of an 18yo syncopal/facial trauma the other night, seems daughter wasn't real fond of Mom right that minute and poor Mom was hovering and giving daughter what-for. Later found out daughter passed out and fell after big (verbal) fight with boyfriend. "that no good so and so........"

Anyway, I'm with you my kids are my life, still, age 26 and 22

Paula

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you. I have to admit, what you said about when you would be more likely to let me in gave me a cold chill! But I had never thought of it like that.

Shawnee

Up Vote Up Vote ×

We do a family center care approach... so as long as it is possible we have parents in the room for everything. Even if they are really upset..we just have a social worker with them. We even let our parents in the PACU .. I think its better for the kids and the parents themselves

Up Vote Up Vote ×

We don't have a set policy but my personal feeling is, if the parent really wants to stay and and there is a staff member who can "babysit", then I would not have a problem with it. When my brother died I wish I had been there.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, critical care.

I always let in parents if they are able to follow instructions. I would love to let them all in but if they can't follow my instructions they are more of an obstacle to giving their child care.

Sometimes I need them to step back and let us work and sometimes I need them to step forward. As long as they can do these 2 simple things when instructed they can stay in the room.

For instance, recently I cared for a small child (less than 2yrs) who had been run over by a car... we are talking tire tracks here. But he was doing ok. Mom was crying and hysterical. I looked her dead in the eye and said, "I have a job for you. This is what I want you to do." She was still a little teary (which was appropriate) but she followed my instructions perfectly. By doing so she was able to provide needed support to her child.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My son was hit by a car 4 years ago, when he was 8 years old, and the ER nurses allowed me to stay in the room with him the whole time. I was even allowed to ride in the helicopter with him when he was stat-flighted to the children's hospital. The MD and nurses later told me that my calmness and helpfulness played a role in their decision. I was so thankful because it would have been horrible on me to have to leave the room or drive the 50 minutes to the hospital not knowing about him.

He had a skull fracture but is now, Thank God, fully recovered with no residual effect.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Most hospitals should have family-centered care. I did my master's thesis on family presence in the ER during resuscitation and found many studies (one that was 10 years in duration) that all proved that there was not a higher rate of lawsuits and there was a higher rate of satisfaction for the families.

You can bet I would never leave my kids' side and mine are 26 and 21!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU.

I was taught that there were situations where you did NOT separate mother and child - mainly if you have a child with epiglottitis.

We try not to separate here but, like a previous poster, tell the parent what we want THEM to do. Usually the parents are great.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, telemetry.

My hospital does not have a policy either, but, we try to never separate parents from children, unless they are truely hysterical and inconsolable. Parents need to know what is going on. We have a chaplain on call 24hrs that comes down during traumas and whenever we page them to help console (not really fond of the term "babysit") the parents. I have 3 small children and can not imagine being separated from them while they are critically injured. Had a friend who had a 2 year old diagnosed with leukemia and sepsis (sudden onset of high fever, no other s/s other than persistent cold), and the child arrested and died in route to childrens hospital in ambulance while mom and dad were driving to hospital by private vehicle. I know this doesn't qualify as trauma, but thought I would share. One of the parents should have been allowed to ride and stay with the child. How sad and tragic!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics.

I think as nurses, we have to be brave enough not to be jaded and crass in the way we deal with and talk about "the family". It usually is not such an incredibly emergent situation, even in the emergency room, that a parent needs to just stand back and shut up. When it is, fine, but at all other times staff needs to remember you negotiate provision of care with the patient/parent and do so with their informed consent. Not every parent is stupid. Crying is not the same as being out of control and disruptive. And what is being done is not so intellectually complicated that the average person can't understand. Many, I would guess even most, parents are capable of being a great help in facilitating administration of care to their child. The technique of giving a job is great, and it also starts the process of teaching them the care they will have to provide if/when junior is discharged. I am glad that on this thread at least there seems to be some acknowledgement of that. The posts here seem to be less anti-parent than usual.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER/ MEDICAL ICU / CCU/OB-GYN /CORRECTION.

Today was the 26th anniversary of our sons death -- Peter Michael Fontella.

He died very suddenly at a picnic while in the care of my sister. They were playing kick ball and when she kicked the ball toward him he collapsed. Peter was a downs child and was 6months post op for a ventricular septal repair that the graft blew.

Oddly enough a nurse I worked with was at the picnic grounds and began immediate cpr -- Petie was revived for a short minute but then went out again.

My former wife and I had gone out to dinner that night with friends never knowing that day would be his last here in earth.

He called his mother "fat mamma" and told her that AM that he was going to church to see Jesus. She corrected him saying "no silly it is not Sunday..... On Sunday we go to see Jesus". I guess that day was Sunday for him.

He was brought to the very ER that I worked and when I called the hospital and wanted to go see him -- my shift supervisor begged his mother -- and I not to come as "they were upset themselves and he was going to be moved soon".

So stupidly I declined. I dont know to this day why I said ok. I regret not going to the ER - I always will.

I am very very glad that the new move is not to seperate the final moments of ones loved ones from seeing the efforts and being with thier loved ones. I wish we had had that honor and priviledge.

Marc

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion