Messed up bad.....

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So I've only had my nursing license since 2011, and I love what I do. Unfortunately, I messed up really bad and now I'm worried about what's next. I tested positive for meth about a week ago. My problem started about a year ago when I hurt my back lifting a patient because I work home health and had no one to as for help. I didn't want to take too much time off work so my doctor prescribed me Norco just for a short time. Problem is my back kept hurting but I didn't want to go back and ask for more because I'm a nurse and thought it was a conflict. So I started skimming them off patients. I'm from a small town and a I ran into a former friend who was into street drugs and said it was cheap. I reasoned it that at least I wasn't stealing from my patients. It got to where I was doing it daily to get through the day....I don't know how I got here. My supervisor got suspicious and called me into HR and I took a UA hoping that I would be clean because it had been a day or two. I wasn't and now I'm terrified of what's going to happen next. I've been looking online at the procedures but honestly I can't think straight. I worked so hard to get my degree and now it's all gone. Can someone please shed some light on what's next?? I've got an OH license. I looked at the BON site for insight for the program regarding drug abuse and chemically dependent nurses. It says something about rehab being an option to save my license along with some very stiff restrictions. Where would I go?? Thank you all in advance.

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Specializes in Neuroscience.

There is an entire forum for nurses in recovery. That would be the best place to ask this question. I hope you get the help you need, get into recovery, and get better. The nursing license is secondary right now. You need to focus on your health.

https://allnurses.com/nurses-recovery/

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Thank you so much for pointing me in the right direction. My head is swimming right now.

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Specializes in ER, ICU.

Best of luck. Thank God you stopped skimming at least. Addiction is a disease, this is a great step. Get all the help you can. I would just come clean and take every opportunity to get better.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

Is there a contact number for the monitoring program? I would start by calling them. I'm not sure what to say, as I don't want to slip into the realm of legal advice... but if they are offering you a plan that will save your license, I would take it. I know two people who went through my state's program; it involved three years of random UAs, mandatory treatment, AA/NA participation, individual counseling, and practice restrictions/quarterly reports from supervisor. One (possibly both, I don't remember) self-reported, and the BON wasn't even involved; had she failed to comply or tested positive THEN a report would have been filed with the BON. Specifics will vary by state.

Take care of yourself!

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I knew I was heading down a bad road but I didn't know how to stop. This is the last thing I ever saw happening, but from I guess it's only up from rock bottom.Thank you both for your support. It means a lot...especially right now.

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I'm not sure if there's a number to call. Right now I'm just waiting to be contacted and scouring the BON site for answers. I know there's a program here but the site is so vague....or maybe it's just me panicking? I don't know. I will contact my supervisor to ask about a number. Thank you.

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I don't know what Ohio's program is like. I'm from Pennsylvania & if its like anything like here you are in for a miserable trip to monitoring land. They will send you to be evaluated and then most likely to rehab. I was in rehab from Oct-Feb of last year. You will be ordered to stop working for a period of time and when you are allowed to return their will be restrictions on your ability to function as a nurse. Here home health is out as there has to be a supervisor on sight. You will be subject to random drug & alcohol screenings & attend 12 step meetings and "support groups". I wish I had something good to say about this process. The best I can say is that if you do everything they say you will probably be able to save your license but they are going to extract quite a bit from you in the form of money, self-esteem, time and opportunities lost. I truly wish you luck

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Thank you for not sugar coating anything. I need to be as realistic as possible looking at the consequences. Looking at the OH BON site I believe I am about to find out that OH is as bad as PA in regards to hoops. It really hurts to know home health will be out bc I really liked the freedom. Rehab sounds scary...and awful. Were you trapped there or did you ever get to go home for breaks?? That's a really long time!! I need to mentally prepare myself for this...I was hoping it'd be like 30 days or something. I'm still prepared to do whatever it takes to get my life back on track though.

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I really wish you wellness on this difficult road that's ahead of you. It certainly must not seem like it right now, but getting caught is the best thing that probably could have happened for you right now; it may have saved your life. I also do believe that compliance with rehab programs (along with restrictions on your license) will keep your license intact.

Also, I find it difficult to find things on BON sites as well. Maybe it would be best to wait until you can get in touch with your supervisor to get a lay out of the game plan.

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Thank you so much for your support. I'm feeling so terrible right now. I know cognitively what you're saying is so right...getting caught is my worst nightmare but better the alternative. It just felt like everything around me was crashing and all the air in the room was sucked out. Emotionally...I'm a mess. You're right that I need to stop scouring the site and wait for what's next. I just can't shut my mind off reliving that moment and thinking about rehab...12 steps...drug test....restrictions...I'm heartbroken.

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I'm not sure if there's a number to call. Right now I'm just waiting to be contacted and scouring the BON site for answers. I know there's a program here but the site is so vague....or maybe it's just me panicking? I don't know. I will contact my supervisor to ask about a number. Thank you.

If you go to here Ohio Board of Nursing / Forms Page and scroll down, you'll see a section on their

Alternative Program for Chemical Dependency

There is a FAQ that you download about the program.

They provide an email address and a phone number where you can get additional information.

[email protected]

(614) 466-0376

Good luck on your road to recovery.

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