Men in Nursing/Men in Society

Dplear · Aug 12, 2003

My post was for real and that is the way I am raising my kids. I do not mind being called Nurse. It does not offend me in the least. As for being straight or gay that is just sexual preference. It has nothing to do with being manly or not. I know gays that are effeminate and I know straights that are effeminate. I also have a biker buddy that does construction and weighs 300+ pounds and I have seen him clear out a bar fighting. He is gay. he has had the same partner for 15 years and his partner is the same way. Is he manly. DAMN STARIGHT he is. he has taught me a few things about construction and I have even taught him about nursing. Metrosexualism has nothing to do with orientation it has to do with gender identifacation.

I also do not get offended when people come on to me sexually. I actaully take it as a compliment. If that person is attracted to me then I ,ust be doing something right. I have been approached by both men and women but I turn them down. I have been happily married for 16 years now and I am straight. Does not bother me though when a guy comes on to me. It is not like I am going to go home with him.

Dave

hbscott · Aug 12, 2003

When this thread first started it was about how men's roles are defined by society and how that may relate to men leaving nursing. If you recall I stated that I left nursing for many different reasons to include:

"I left nursing for a job that paid more, had better hours, provided better working conditions, and offered me a brighter future."

"I left nursing because I grew weary of the passive aggressive behavior I witnessed daily in nursing practice as nurses turned on each other for one reason or another."

Etc.,

There was one sentence that referred to the typical male nurse stereotypes that annoyed me so and yet this one area caused so much response, well it just reminds me why nursing can be so frustrating for me personally and professionally.

I feel that there were more important issues raised on why I (and others) left nursing yet there are some who felt that the gay community was being attacked by certain remarks (I still don't agree that my remarks were disparging to gays or other groups).

I say they forget what the real issue was all about, why men are leaving or not attracted to the nursing profession. As a former nurse educator I would have to respond that some of you fine people went off topic.

What is up with that?

:confused:

-HBS

twarlik · Aug 12, 2003

Originally posted by hbscott
What is up with that?

I was simply responding to what you said. Yes, I may have focused on one particular point, but it was one that touched a nerve. Apparently I misinterpreted what you said, and for that I apologize.

I can't really comment on many of the other issues you raised since I am only a student and have worked for the government for the last five years. I could tell you all about passive aggressive behavior in government offices, but I guess that would be far to off topic. As for going off topic, well you did make a point of linking to another thread that focused on the "gay issue." I felt that the thread was leaning in that direction, so I went with it. These threads, like actual conversations, develop over time and sometimes go in different directions than what was originally intended.

hbscott · Aug 12, 2003

Thanks Todd. I see your point as my reference to another thread did lead the discussion to this "hot button" issue. You are quite correct and good attention to detail.

I wish you well in your scholarly endeavors and I pray that you find nursing practice personally rewarding. All I can offer you based upon my experience is that when push comes to shove (proverbially speaking) go down the path that leads to your own personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. You won't be disappointed.

Good Luck!

-HBS

twarlik · Aug 12, 2003

Originally posted by hbscott
I wish you well in your scholarly endeavors and I pray that you find nursing practice personally rewarding. All I can offer you based upon my experience is that when push comes to shove (proverbially speaking) go down the path that leads to your own personal happiness and sense of fulfillment. You won't be disappointed.

Thanks for the advice and kind words! :)

Peeps Mcarthur · Aug 12, 2003

Order up!!....................Can O' Worms!!

By AMV

My husband agreed. He said it sounded too much like nursing a baby, etc. So I wonder, how many other men out there feel that way? As far as the associations to being gay or a "failed physician" (remember the movie "Meet the Parents"?)

As one entertains the possibility of becoming a nurse, the social impact of appearence must be considered. Even if one is female, there is a stereotype that is not exactly honorable.

A little annecdote:

I first considered nursing many years ago. I was fully prepared(or so I thought) to enter a nontraditional field for males. I decided to go directly to the school in my area and talk to someone about it. As I approached the school the door flung open and droves of students piled out on break. All of them with make-up, sweaters over thier shoulders.............................and to my utter horror, every one of them had those white caps:eek:

There were no males, not even a janitor for gawds sakes! I thought, "oh God, what am I thinking?" "why aren't there any men..........am I the only male that wants to be a nurse?"............"obviously, the cap is part of it..............no not meant for men........this is clearly not a place for a man" "So, why did I think of becoming a nurse?" "What's my problem?"

Didn't tell anyone..............not my parents, not my buddies,not my girfriend. I thought that I must be dysfunctional or something. No, I never thought of being effeminent, but percieved as such for wanting to attend to an all female vocation.

Flash forward many years later. I have told everyone that I am becoming a nurse. I struggle still to shake the stygma of the male entering a womans' world. From my first day on, to the day I walked away,every chance nursing had to show equity,from the curicculum to the socialization of studygroups, was neatly boxed up and piled into the impressions that I had shaped so many years ago.

The only difference was that the caps were gone. All my instincts screamed at me "this is for women you weirdo!" I fought to suppress it for 2 semesters, but it proved itself in an experiment of nongender equality as repeatable. In science, even social science, that is as close to "proof" as one can get.

Brad

agent · Aug 14, 2003

Well Im a guy and Im going to do it anyway..

im not afraid, im not intimidated by these women who would choose to "block" me out.

I truly feel I can excel and I don't intend to let anyone or their discrimination hold me back. So enough of the ridicule, ill be an RN and do my best. I will try to rise above the petty jokes and cliqish behavior.

I will be more mature, I will be the better man!

slyhrtbt · Aug 15, 2003

Originally posted by AMV
As far as the associations to being gay or a "failed physician" (remember the movie "Meet the Parents"?) [/b]

I have been asked repeatedly if I wanted to go on to Medical school My reply is always" no because I will be A much better nurse than I would be a doctor. Plus I have never had the desire to be a doctor and feel like I can make a bigger difference as a nurse.

As far as being percieved as "gay" i hear it from time to time. Doesn't really bother me cause the people I care about know that I am strait. The only thing that would bother me is if a girl I was interested in thought I was gay cause it might ruin my chance with her. :devil:

agent · Aug 15, 2003

I guess the wedding ring on my finger might give away the fact im not gay..

since gay marriage isnt yet approved.

twarlik · Aug 15, 2003

Originally posted by agent
I guess the wedding ring on my finger might give away the fact im not gay..

Well, not really...I know several gay couples who have exchanged rings. Just 'cause the government doesn't sanction it, doesn't mean people aren't already doing it. :)

burp · Aug 15, 2003

Im a 5'7 270 lb body builder . spent 8 yrs in the army as a ranger. am married to a rn[my first preceptor] and teach martial arts in my spare time . and yeah im a rn too. I find my masculinity to be a great asset at work. ive never been abused by anyone [one md tried and i let him know that i would take his tone personal and that might be a problem for him and I]. I DO AGENCY WORK NOW FOR THE $ AND TO AVOID OFFICE POLITCS!!! in my experience men are treated better in nursing than women. mostly older people ask me why i didnt become a md. I just tell them i enjoy what i do now . Im a seriously assertive person at work and it has served me well. I think we as men and women can learn from one another , women by being more straightfoward and men by having a little more tact at times. Ultimately who we are at the bedside is a reflection of who we are in our personal lives, if we could learn to appricate that and not criticize it we would all be better off.

agent · Aug 15, 2003

Great post burp.

I really appreciate the insight. I'm a decent size guy too, not as big as you, but 210 and atheletic.

I don't plan on being walked on at all. I know ill get some crap being a new guy on their staff, but I still don't plan on being a doormat.