Mean Nurses

[ttpurtee]

I hope no one takes this wrong, but I have heard that nurses are really mean to each other and bully each other. I know I would not handle that well. Is it true that nurses really are mean and bullies? If so, why? If they are iin a caring profession, don't they care about their co workers?

[ladybugbaby161]

I've seen a lot of bullying in my first year as a nurse. I was even bullied when I started. So badly I had to go to the manager. The situation was taken care of quickly, and the nurse bullying me even apologized to me!

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

the interesting thing to me is that so many people who claim women are catty, backstabbing female dogs actually are women. and they claim that they themselves are not like that. all other women are, but they aren't.

i suspect that cattiness and backstabbing exists, to some degree at least, in the eye of the beholder. but what is also fascinating is that those who scream the loudest about it also seem to be the ones who engage in the behavior. worth a thought, don't you think?

i don't know if you are familiar with my posts. they're often straightforward and extremely blunt, and frankly, i do not suffer fools gladly.

i also do not tolerate whining, and enabling (which often happens here). i also do not like "nicey-nice"...seee my "lvns training rns post." a clear example of people's egos being too attached to their titles and their inability to remove themselves from the situation without looking at things through standards/logic.

women are not fun playmates unless they are logic oriented...like me =)

too much wah-wah-wah...in my humble opine.

j

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

i've never been a woman's woman...

always been a tomboy...never a girly girl, and seldom could relate to girls/women.

i always went along with the, "women are back-stabbing, catty, *itches", but upon deeper thought, i just appreciate being with people who say what they mean, and mean what they say.

and i find men to generally be more direct.

the bottom line is, i find many women to be highly insecure, which can manifest in many undesirable behaviors.

overall, i appreciate men > women.

that said, those who insist that we witches, eat our young, or are "mean", more often than not, are reacting to a tone of voice they don't like.

because of that, i reject the mean nurse depiction, and tend to believe that true meanness, is the exception and not the rule.

leslie

Leslie, I could work with you in the most stessful situations and something tells me you and I would communicate well without taking the situational stressors personally.

That's my biggest problem with females. A lot of "wah-wah-wah..."

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

Conversely, I have worked in a male-dominated field (research science) and seen the exact same behaviour in men. Middle-aged, professionally and financially successful males. They work in an incredibly stressful environment, with outrageous expectations and uncertain rewards for which they are in constant competition.

And these otherwise rational, mature men participate in the same backstabbing, gossiping, sabotaging nastiness that nurses are blamed for. They can be passive aggressive to a ridiculous, eye-rolling degree . They will throw colleagues and students under the bus for the slightest chance at a new grant or professional advancement.

You're entitled to your opinion, and I want to be clear this is a respectful debate. But I think what's in your pants is a lot less important than what kind of work environment you're dealing with.

So not true for me. When I worked in Trauma and ER, I worked with many men. Stressful and extreme situations occurred. We all knew that those types of situations sometimes caused aggressive tendencies...nobody went into the corner and cried to managemenbt or whined about it...it was "let's take this outside." Often times I would see them clear the air, and DONE. All done. Moving forward easily. Nothing taken personally. LOVE THAT.

Women? OMG did you see what so- and so wore today? OMG do you know whatshisface is sleeping with whatsherface? OMG did you see her give me a hard time during report? OMG I am going to talk to management. OMG my feelings are hurt, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

Really? Really? Honestly, I do not give a shizhpa. Let's focus on work. And get your insecurities and ego-based issues OUTTA DA WAY.

Women who are focused, efficient and can critically think are far and few between. Extremely professional and on top of their work. Those are the best. My environment mostly consists of these types--every now and then we have the Queen Bee/Martyr-Enabler/Superficial-Stuck in High School types...they avoid me and I avoid them. Life is good.

J

[enchantmentdis, BSN, RN]

Don't you guys get it? Humans as a rule are cruel, back-stabbing, and greedy--males and females.

[GQGomer]

In *general*, the lower down the totem pole of life, the nastier and/or more small-minded people are. (Luckily, there are exceptions, and they always draw admiration due to their grace.) Have never quite figured out what the point is. Seems like pointless wheel-spinning. Anyway, it has always been my experience that those with the most on the ball are usually the nicest and most sincere. I suppose when people are treated well, they generally don't have reason to feel nasty, and those with more on the ball are generally treated better. I always try to make it a point to treat everyone well, but I don't get too involved either. I suppose I rarely notice. Call me happily oblivious.

LOL at the comment above re: greed! Yep, when it comes to money, people will eat their own mothers! (...although they rarely see it in themselves)

[sasha2lady]

Speaking from current and past experience I can come to one general conclusion....a mass clash of personalities:)