Mean girls in Pre-Req / Nursing School, how do you deal with them?

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Hey guys , Happy Holidays,

  I keep having this reoccurring problem in most of my pre-reqs like AP1 , AP2 and micro , even in other health-related classes. There is always a clique of girls and a few guys here and there whom seem to try to pick on people's weaknesses in the classes or downright. For the most part it's the people whom do very well in the class so it confuses me, it's like they sniff our people to bother and it gets annoying (in one particular case a girl made it her duty to call me the b-word every lab rotation , and one girl always embarrassed me during anatomy reviews ). I've had a couple of experiences with girls like these but talking to my advisor they said to toughen it up a bit because some might end up in nursing school. I went through a traumatic bullying situation ( some girls thought it would be nice to raise a little hell around students in the classes that our prof had) and I had to drop .. But how do you deal with the mean girls and guys / cliques and negativity that comes with the science pre-reqs and most importantly if I were to see them in nursing school how do I ignore them.. do I alert the instructor. I just find it weird how we are studying to help others yet in the same breath someone torments another for no reason. Any experiences?

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Clap back. I have found that for most bullies, they pick on people they think they can get away with. I am very petite and have a kind face, so people often think they can treat or talk to me any ol way. You have to set the foundation for how you will allow people to treat you. Be stern, be direct. let them know you're not the one. There will always be bullies, everywhere in every profession. I am a very passive person and I HATE confrontation. but I don't tolerate unwarranted disrespect or people attempting to belittle me for my intelligence. 

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.

^that^ Telling the instructor won't help. I suspect your past experience is coloring your current situation. Do you have a counselor to talk with? 

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2 hours ago, JenjaTheNinja said:

Clap back. I have found that for most bullies, they pick on people they think they can get away with. I am very petite and have a kind face, so people often think they can treat or talk to me any ol way. You have to set the foundation for how you will allow people to treat you. Be stern, be direct. let them know you're not the one. There will always be bullies, everywhere in every profession. I am a very passive person and I HATE confrontation. but I don't tolerate unwarranted disrespect or people attempting to belittle me for my intelligence. 

I am the same way ,  most of my bullies are about my height some taller. I am guilty of ignoring this behavior to avoid confrontation , but that doesn't always work, some get worse and the thing about it is some people will flip the script as soon as you clap back. But I will use this ? 

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1 minute ago, ruby_jane said:

^that^ Telling the instructor won't help. I suspect your past experience is coloring your current situation. Do you have a counselor to talk with? 

our counselors aren't worth a damn at my school (excuse my language) , what ends up happening is they victim-shame and give bullies the go ahead ( in my first attempt at AP1 I was told that I was gonna have to assimilate. Keep in my I was the only minority in my class compared to second attempt). I was told I was exaggerating when in one semester because of this clique of girls I had 35+ bullies (their friends and classmates) naming them one by one with description and everything...after calling them out through letter they washed their hands clean of me... by the second attempt , a girl bullying me and got worse because I didn't budge , I practically ignored her use to humiliate me to the point of near tears, this got sent to the teacher while two straightened up she still kept on. Micro wasn't really bullying. Sorry I went on a rant but our counselors aren't really worth going to , they always take the predators side, one being a bully whom bullies co-workers herself.

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14 minutes ago, TheNursingdoll said:

I am the same way ,  most of my bullies are about my height some taller. I am guilty of ignoring this behavior to avoid confrontation , but that doesn't always work, some get worse and the thing about it is some people will flip the script as soon as you clap back. But I will use this ? 

I have found that humor and sarcasm can work really well. It's often unexpected. I've gone so far as to say "I know" or I agree" and it kind of stops them in their tracks a bit. It's not 100% of course, and I'm not recommending you go along with someone calling you names, but time and place, right? I had a girl once sarcastically say to me "You think you're so smart!" and my response was "Yes. Yes I do, too bad you don't think you are" and she stopped messing with me after that. 

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Just now, JenjaTheNinja said:

I have found that humor and sarcasm can work really well. It's often unexpected. I've gone so far as to say "I know" or I agree" and it kind of stops them in their tracks a bit. It's not 100% of course, and I'm not recommending you go along with someone calling you names, but time and place, right? I had a girl once sarcastically say to me "You think you're so smart!" and my response was "Yes. Yes I do, too bad you don't think you are" and she stopped messing with me after that. 

So , throwing subtle/in your face shade

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33 minutes ago, TheNursingdoll said:

So , throwing subtle/in your face shade

Basically. 

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First off, I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's ridiculous that adults can be so immature and childish. However, I think it's important to remember that their bullying comes out of a place of extreme insecurity and feelings of inferiority. Remember that they pick on people who they're threatened by!

As of how you should react, being calm and respectful goes a long way. Never stoop down to their level and sully your dignity. But, at the same time, never feel that you have to take verbal and emotional abuse from moral subordinates. Put them in their place. Call them out on their behavior and how unprofessional and immature it is. Tell them firmly that you will not tolerate their disrespect. Will it stop it right away? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on the type of bully. But it will empower you and make them feel a little less in control of the situation.

As a resource, I read a short article on bullying a few years back that kind of summarizes what I and the other commenters said. It's geared toward a younger crowd but the principles are still relevant. There's a good video at the end of it, too. I'll leave it here for yourself and others who might benefit from taking a look at it: Bullying at School

I sincerely hope everything works out well for you!

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
23 hours ago, TheNursingdoll said:

our counselors aren't worth a damn at my school (excuse my language) , what ends up happening is they victim-shame and give bullies the go ahead ( in my first attempt at AP1 I was told that I was gonna have to assimilate. Keep in my I was the only minority in my class compared to second attempt). I was told I was exaggerating when in one semester because of this clique of girls I had 35+ bullies (their friends and classmates) naming them one by one with description and everything...after calling them out through letter they washed their hands clean of me... by the second attempt , a girl bullying me and got worse because I didn't budge , I practically ignored her use to humiliate me to the point of near tears, this got sent to the teacher while two straightened up she still kept on. Micro wasn't really bullying. Sorry I went on a rant but our counselors aren't really worth going to , they always take the predators side, one being a bully whom bullies co-workers herself.

I meant an actual counselor, LCSW type. Or MSW or whomever. Plainly this is weighing on you. It's possible that therapy can provide some tools for your toolbox. Regardless, the "mean girl" stuff continues on into nursing but once you're past the precepting first year it's good.

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10 hours ago, ruby_jane said:

I meant an actual counselor, LCSW type. Or MSW or whomever. Plainly this is weighing on you. It's possible that therapy can provide some tools for your toolbox. Regardless, the "mean girl" stuff continues on into nursing but once you're past the precepting first year it's good.

I know one ?

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Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.

This will continue into nursing school, beyond nursing school, into most work environments you will encounter for the rest of your life. People that feel the need to be bullies have low self-esteem themselves. In order to make them feel better about themselves, especially when they're in a pack, they try to tear other people down. If you know that you have potential issues with this, as already mentioned, speaking with a licensed therapist may benefit you. I had trouble with it when I was in grade school, but I learned to mostly feel badly for them because they are actually pretty pathetic as people. I know it's easier said than done, but try to ignore them and know that you're a better person than they are. 

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