male instructor touching students - I voiced my concern

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Hi guys, I don't know if you remember that some weeks ago I posted a message here regarding my health assessment male instructor touching the female students during lab classes. Anyway, 98% of the students in my class are women from 19 - 44 years old, and at least half of us (maybe more) feel really uncomfortable with this specific instructor. Anyway, he can be nice and funny at times, but many of us think he is quite bossy and arrogant, and overuses his power making some of us feel really small. So I was already frustrated about this whole thing, and two weeks ago when we had to do the abdomen assessment, I was lying in bed and 2 other students were working with me, assessing each other. We had curtains around and our instructor said that we didn't need to wear gown, so I was lying there with my shirt on top of my breasts and my jeans opened. He came into the cubicle where we were, and he asked me to show my pubic bone. But I was feeling kind of uncomfortable, and he said: "If you can't find it, I will!" And he reached down my panties and started touching my pubic bone, not taking into consideration that he was crossing my comfort zone and didn't respect the fact that I didn't want him touching me. Then when he grabbed my jeans to drop even more I said "NO".. and he ended up making comments about my pubic hair, as there was no reason for me to be shy because he had seen lots, and he looked at the two students and said that eventually we have to be forceful with patients.

I just felt that my privacy wasn't ensured at any time. He again overused his power, compromised my learning, and then came back later to ask if I was ok. Then the next day, he phoned my house to apologise, but because I was already fedup, I phoned the other campus (same University) and talked to the dean of health sciences and explained to her what had happened and I was curious to know what his job description really is and how far can he go. So to make the story short, the Dean of health sciences ended up phoning the coordinator of the nursing program and told her that I had phoned, and the dean also talked to the male instructor.

But it seemed to me that after the Dean talked to the instructor, they were convinced by his version of the story, and I felt as if I am just being a whiner and although the said that they understand my concerns and changes will be made, I think they are saying that just to pretend they are supporting me. The coordinator of the nursing program who is a female, is defending him, and said to me that "he is a nurse and he did that to me, just because he was trying to demonstrate to me where my pubic bone is"

I still think he shouldn't touch us at all. But apparently he thinks that he needs to keep demonstrating how to do things. I also suggested us wearing shorts and tanktops instead of just panties and bra, but I noticed some resistance to the idea.

Oh well... I just get a negative vibe from him, and I am happy to know that he won't ever tough me again, but I really wish something could be done, so people wouldn't feel intimidated to go to his class.

Thanks for listening..

There is a time to fight, and this is the time. Have you talked to the other students in your group who witnessed this? If you are going to meet with any more officials of the university, I think you should get a lawyer to go with you. Universities care more about their public image than they do about the students who attend the school, and if you start to threaten to make this very public, they'll start listening. I'm willing to bet that they all know it's wrong, but want to avoid a scandal at all costs, so they are counting on you to be a meek and mild student about all this and allow it to be swept under the carpet. Don't let them intimidate you.

Specializes in Infection Preventionist/ Occ Health.

This man's behavior is grossly inappropriate and he has no business teaching or working with patients.

It seems like you've been given great advice so far. The only thing I would add is to talk to the students who witnessed this event (or other similar incidents) and warn them they might be getting a call from the Board of Nursing or the police. They may be asked to give testimony to the board or in court, and if they are prepared they will be able to give much better statements. This is a difficult situation, but it sounds like you are handling it well. Good luck and we are here to support you.

Hi guys, thank you so much for your reply. I totally feel like you all do, and I am 33 years old, married, and not naive. I am a foreigner here in Canada and already have a degree in engineering, so I can be anything, but stupid! And because I knew something was very wrong, I decided to phone the Dean. I also phoned the RN Associacion in British Columbia, but they said there are steps that I had to follow, such as contacting the dean first.

The dean was apparently shocked by what I told her and phoned the coordinator (a 62 year old woman who is best friend with the male instructor), and then apparently, the coordinator phoned the male instructor and he phoned the Dean. The Dean told me he was very apologetic and then she said to me on the phone "because he was so apologetic, I see that as a positive thing". C'mon!!!!!!!! So I realized right there that she was covering his butt. So anyway, when I talked with the coordinator in private the week after, she said to me: "Oh I thought you would talk with me first!" WHAT FOR???????? I also couldn't believe that she didn't see the fact as an offense. She said "he is a nurse, he is used to that, he was just demonstrating to you". So I really feel that administration is not supporting me at all.

One of my classmates went to talk to him, and she also phoned the dean, but because she is much younger, apparently they didn't really care. She said that when she talked to both dean and male instructors they were like" uhum-uhum" and didn't say much.

My other classmates (including the ones that witnessed) are relieved by what I did, but are too afraid to face the instructor, and in fact, they continue talking to him as if they loved him. And for me... I can't look in his eyes, I can't stand near him, I can't stand listening to his voice! Apparently they are going to make some changes, but when I mentioned tank tops and shorts or even sports bra, the coordinator said: "but you can't hear the heart beat with sports bra". Oh, another thing... "I was told by a councellor at the college that the situation wasn't considered a theat to me, because there two students standing beside me when that happened, so I can't mention the word sexual offense"

My college is in a small community... the male instructor is skinny, in his mid-50's, wears wrinkled clothes, has a gray mullet hair, a big grey mustache over his mouth, his face is all wrinkled, he used to be a street nurse in town, thinks he is God, tries to be nice and funny to the young students to have them as supporters, etc.. not a great picture!

I will continue following up on this case guys... thanks again, so much for your support!

Specializes in Transplant, homecare, hospice.

:nono: :eek:

OMgosh! Of course that's not what slipped out of my mouth when I read your post. Lord have mercy. He was WAAAAYYYYY out of line. Big NO NO. He should be let go. That's outrageous! First of all, he should have asked you....second of all, since you weren't in the hospital, he didn't have your permission....isn't this considered sexual assault? The other students are okay with this? No way.

This isn't allowed in most schools. They are setting themselves up for a lawsuit. He shouldn't be teaching if he teaches like that. That's crazy!

Specializes in Transplant, homecare, hospice.

I don't know about you guys...but when I have to delve into the uncharted (or maybe charted:rolleyes: ) areas of a person's body, out of dignity for the patient as well as trying to avoid embaressment, not only do I explain what I'm doing, but I tell them why I'm doing it....I need to look at the area so I can get the doctors to give me the right medicine....or orders...sometimes I ask, "Can I look?" Just jumping in and being aggressive is not a good excuse...PPuuullleeeeeeesee.. What a cop out...'sometimes you have to be forceful...' Give me a freakin' break. Yeah! You have to be forceful when your VICTIM won't comply to what you're trying to do....:angryfire

Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
Hi guys, thank you so much for your reply. I totally feel like you all do, and I am 33 years old, married, and not naive. I am a foreigner here in Canada and already have a degree in engineering, so I can be anything, but stupid! And because I knew something was very wrong, I decided to phone the Dean. I also phoned the RN Associacion in British Columbia, but they said there are steps that I had to follow, such as contacting the dean first.

The dean was apparently shocked by what I told her and phoned the coordinator (a 62 year old woman who is best friend with the male instructor), and then apparently, the coordinator phoned the male instructor and he phoned the Dean. The Dean told me he was very apologetic and then she said to me on the phone "because he was so apologetic, I see that as a positive thing". C'mon!!!!!!!! So I realized right there that she was covering his butt. So anyway, when I talked with the coordinator in private the week after, she said to me: "Oh I thought you would talk with me first!" WHAT FOR???????? I also couldn't believe that she didn't see the fact as an offense. She said "he is a nurse, he is used to that, he was just demonstrating to you". So I really feel that administration is not supporting me at all.

One of my classmates went to talk to him, and she also phoned the dean, but because she is much younger, apparently they didn't really care. She said that when she talked to both dean and male instructors they were like" uhum-uhum" and didn't say much.

My other classmates (including the ones that witnessed) are relieved by what I did, but are too afraid to face the instructor, and in fact, they continue talking to him as if they loved him. And for me... I can't look in his eyes, I can't stand near him, I can't stand listening to his voice! Apparently they are going to make some changes, but when I mentioned tank tops and shorts or even sports bra, the coordinator said: "but you can't hear the heart beat with sports bra".

I was told by a councellor at the college that the situation wasn't considered a theat to me, because there two students standing beside me when that happened, so I can't mention the word sexual offense"

My college is in a small community... the male instructor is skinny, in his mid-50's, wears wrinkled clothes, has a gray mullet hair, a big grey mustache over his mouth, his face is all wrinkled, he used to be a street nurse in town, thinks he is God, tries to be nice and funny to the young students to have them as supporters, etc.. not a great picture!

I will continue following up on this case guys... thanks again, so much for your support!

I agree with the other posters here...this was completely inappropriate and a crime once he touched you AFTER you said no.

And the part about this not to be labeled as a sexual offense bc there were two other students who witnessed is a LOAD OF TOTAL CRAP! I am at a loss for words....:angryfire

You obviously aren't getting support from this college. Take it higher...the board of nursing, the police, the media, whatever you must do because I guarantee you he has and will do this again to someone else and should be removed from teaching.

Hi guys, I don't know if you remember that some weeks ago I posted a message here regarding my health assessment male instructor touching the female students during lab classes. Anyway, 98% of the students in my class are women from 19 - 44 years old, and at least half of us (maybe more) feel really uncomfortable with this specific instructor. Anyway, he can be nice and funny at times, but many of us think he is quite bossy and arrogant, and overuses his power making some of us feel really small. So I was already frustrated about this whole thing, and two weeks ago when we had to do the abdomen assessment, I was lying in bed and 2 other students were working with me, assessing each other. We had curtains around and our instructor said that we didn't need to wear gown, so I was lying there with my shirt on top of my breasts and my jeans opened. He came into the cubicle where we were, and he asked me to show my pubic bone. But I was feeling kind of uncomfortable, and he said: "If you can't find it, I will!" And he reached down my panties and started touching my pubic bone, not taking into consideration that he was crossing my comfort zone and didn't respect the fact that I didn't want him touching me. Then when he grabbed my jeans to drop even more I said "NO".. and he ended up making comments about my pubic hair, as there was no reason for me to be shy because he had seen lots, and he looked at the two students and said that eventually we have to be forceful with patients.

I just felt that my privacy wasn't ensured at any time. He again overused his power, compromised my learning, and then came back later to ask if I was ok. Then the next day, he phoned my house to apologise, but because I was already fedup, I phoned the other campus (same University) and talked to the dean of health sciences and explained to her what had happened and I was curious to know what his job description really is and how far can he go. So to make the story short, the Dean of health sciences ended up phoning the coordinator of the nursing program and told her that I had phoned, and the dean also talked to the male instructor.

But it seemed to me that after the Dean talked to the instructor, they were convinced by his version of the story, and I felt as if I am just being a whiner and although the said that they understand my concerns and changes will be made, I think they are saying that just to pretend they are supporting me. The coordinator of the nursing program who is a female, is defending him, and said to me that "he is a nurse and he did that to me, just because he was trying to demonstrate to me where my pubic bone is"

I still think he shouldn't touch us at all. But apparently he thinks that he needs to keep demonstrating how to do things. I also suggested us wearing shorts and tanktops instead of just panties and bra, but I noticed some resistance to the idea.

Oh well... I just get a negative vibe from him, and I am happy to know that he won't ever tough me again, but I really wish something could be done, so people wouldn't feel intimidated to go to his class.

Thanks for listening..

:eek: what in the world? I can't believe this is going on! watch yourself and document things carefully.

ok i would tell them that if they dont do something about his behavior that i would be filing a sexual harassment case. If you told him NO he had no right doing otherwise.

Im afraid to think of what else he has gotten away with or what else he WILL get away with in the future. Maybe you can stop him now before something worse happens to someone else...

what does your husband have to say about it, I know mine wouldve already paid him a visit...

Good Luck....

i just shared this thread with my husband and he added:

"she needs to take it beyond the school and get local law enforcement involved. The perv would probably wind up in jail and the school in a lawsuit for trying to cover it up"

I am so sorry this happened to you. You must feel so violated. He assaulted you physically and verbally. From someone in a position of authority and trust, that is very damaging.

I have been through something similar. When I was in my early 20's, I worked for a man who sexually harrassed myself and several other women who worked for him. As in your case, management refused to acknowledge the situation and told us we were imagining things. I and several other women ended up filing a lawsuit. I was scared, embarrassed and wondering if I should have kept my mouth shut. But in the end, I was glad I stood up for myself and didn't let him or the company intimidate me into staying quiet.

It is so hard to get into nursing school and it's scary to make waves. Only you can decide what is right for you. But be sure to make a detailed record of everything that has happened and what everyone has said to you. You will need it if you decide to call the police, the board or contact a lawyer. Whatever you decide to do, know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I am horrified after reading this. PLEASE report this instructor to the board. He has NO right to do this to you or anyone else. How far will he go with his next "victim?"...and that is what it boils down to. He had NO right to touch you like that.

This was upsetting to read and I am sorry it happened to you. Just from reading your post, I trust you are doing the right thing and will take this as far as you need to.

~J

As a man, it's embarrassing what some other men do.

My daughter will start Nursing School next fall. If someone did that to her....

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