making fun of patients

shay · Dec 28, 2002

Lisa, you rock, woman. :kiss Very well said. Excellent.

I want to reiterate Lisa's statement that YOUNG MOTHERHOOD ALONE, FOR THE FIRST TIME, is not a bad thing and I do not begrudge any patient in that situation for the first time.

angelbear · Dec 29, 2002

I could not agree with all of you more. Obviously I do not play the victim and I cant stand those who do. We make our lives what we choose to make them. I am just saying that you cant always judge a book by its cover. I am sure to an outsider I did not appear to have any business having a child at 15 and I didnt. But I was determined to make the best of it and I did. Actually my mother was the best possible help to me and I have told her so often. When she found out I was pregnant she told my husband and I that we had made our bed and now we could lie in it and then she stuck too it. I beleive that she forced us to depend on each other with no way out and that strengthened our relationship to the wonderful point that it is at today. I know this is not the norm. I guess I just wanted all to know that there is hope even for those that appear hopeless. I know you all arent being critical just venting I do that too just wanted to add my story Thanks for letting me I will stop beating that dead horse now.

mark_LD_RN · Dec 29, 2002

PSCHYNURSE were the hell you get off insulting someone is that some new therapeutic communication style you learned?

remember venting is not judging.

and yes people do make leaving of the goverment a lifestyle, there is plenty of it in my area just come down here and seei t for yourself. i will be glad to show you around and introduce you to some people that do it.

I do not have to walk in their shoes to know it. I have plenty of compassion for people in general, but people that abuse the sytem is what gets me. I have no problems with young girls giving birth if they and or their family can raise them or if it is their first one and did not know better, but you going to have a hard time convincing me that all the 21 and 22 yr old medicaid patients i see with 3,4 or 5 kids did not no better or could not help it. pleeeze help on that one.

we had kids young, had no insurance no medicaid,no goverment assistance, no family and i was able to make it work with hard work at minimum wage jobs, why can't they do it to?

LilgirlRN, ADN, RN · Dec 29, 2002

While I do not work IN L&D or post partum, we do see pregnant women in the ER. Like many of you I am too appalled at the number of pregnancies some of the women (most of them should still be considered girls) have had. I recently went out to triage to get a patient that I thought most likely had a kidney stone. She didn't mention that she was pregnant until I asked when her last period was. 5 months ago she says, I asked if she were in labor, she said yes I think so. So, while mom and dad were getting her registered I took her up to L&D. I came back down and went out to the waiting area and got her parents. I said I'm going to take you to your daughter now. We walked through the ED and out the back door, got in the elevator. The dad says, we're going to the 3rd floor, that's where she had "that" baby last year. She's pregnant again isnt she? I said you'll have to ask her yourself, even though the CHILD was 15, I couldn't tell her parents what was going on because of her right to privacy. Anyway, she delivered at 22 weeks, had had no prenatal care and of course the baby died after having about 20000 dollars worth of care. Very sad. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you don't have to work in the pregnant woman realm to appreciate what you nurses go through, society as a whole goes through it too.

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 29, 2002

Thank you, Lili well-said. I see this all-too-much. THIS is the situation that GRIPES us, not the PERSON but the SITUATION....so do you see where we come NOW?????

mother/babyRN, RN · Dec 30, 2002

Well, this has been an interesting detour into something I am not sure of...Welfare...Hmmm....OB nurses see quite a bit of abuse in this area, and, there are people who do love and want the idea of being in the system because that is all they know, as they were brought up that way...No, I don't feel I should support people who can go out and work...I had to do it. I paid my own way, was a single mom and forfeited eating anything but macaroni for 6 months in order to feed and clothe my son and pay the heating bills. I am not sorry about that and have no regrets, but , as it seems now, SCUD missle funding is apparently going to be needed sometime soon....

And, psych nurse, your comments did sound pretty juvenille to me, or at the very least, raw...I could decend into that sort of thing and mention a few and hopefully, inaccurate stereotypical views of psych nurses/physicians, but where would that lead us and what good would it do?

OB nursing is an entirely different genre than many other areas. You have the opportunity, I am certain, to deal with psychosocial/economincal and psychological issues that no doubt drain you...I applaud you, but so do we.....Try to remember that...Just as there are a select few who can function well and appropriately in YOUR field, there are just as many or few who find that OB nursing, while situations result in happy outcomes, are great. But, when situations arise that are horrible, sad and scary, and that happens in the blink of an eye sometimes, please don't try and judge what we do without expecting us to at least want to respond in kind....Take care everyone, and Happy New Year!

Dayray, RN · Dec 31, 2002

I see allot of teen and medicaide mom's too. I try to see the positive in them. Even the drug mom's. Somtimes its hard to see the good in them but I would rather error on the side of the patient (if I choose to see their good sides what could it hurt?) I don't see how a negative attitude toward any patient benifits anyone. You will never change or help a person by focusing on their shortcomings. You will however help some (even if it be just a few) by showing them compassion and understanding even when they don't deserve it.

One of my favorite scriptures is the one where Jesus meets the women at the well == He choose to see the good in her before he addressed her shortcomings. He choose to see her as a person who had never known any life other then the one she was living and focused on the good in her inorder to direct her toward change.

Remeber none of us are worthy of mercy or forgivness .. yet we still hope for it and it's becuse of mercy that we are alive today. Just think of where you would be today if you were judged by your weeknesses or mistakes rather then by your quality and worth as a human being.

mark_LD_RN · Dec 31, 2002

hey day ray glad to see you posting again!

I also try to see the good in every patient, i do not make fun of them .but occasionally I need a good venting session!:)

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 31, 2002

Dayray, we are not saying to use judgement against patients or to compromise care. Your post while well-put does not change how I practice or what I feel. I am quite a few pegs short of Christ, I suppose. But I DO render kind, professional care despite a person's background, beliefs or any demographic facts. That is the truth. Welcome back, by the way! I, too am glad to see you.

Dayray, RN · Jan 1, 2003

Ack... did'nt mean for it to come out that way .....sorry for those I offended =)

shay · Jan 2, 2003

Dayray, honey, I don't think you could offend anyone even if you TRIED. :) We know what you're saying.

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 2, 2003

* is not offended, but felt compelled to clarify what I do.