LPN really screamed at patient.

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Am working with LPN whose twenty something son just died a horrible death from testicular cancer. She is showing signs of depression. On the day of his memorial service the manager changed her shift which caused her to be unable to attend the service. Her guilt and anger where right there on the surface for all to see. We had a couple of very demanding whiny patients. One in particular was a real pain and I had to force myself to be patient. At one point in the evening when this patient was being particularly pesky the LPN really screamed at her. As soon as she did it her eyes got real big and she looked at me real scared like. She apologized to the patient and to my suprise the patient was real big about it. Said, "Oh I know you nurses are overworked and I can be a pain sometimes". Me and then LPN had a conversation about the situation and she is going to get into somesort of therapy. My concern is what other obligations do I have in this situation. Is it a violation of nursing ethics to just quiely let this person get the help she needs or am I required to drag managment into it? I would like to have a little conversation with the manager about why this persons shift was changed in such a callous way. Perhaps my manager did not even know about the memorial service. The LPN in question is timid enough not to have protested when the shift change was mandated. I think I can have the conversation with out bringing up the screaming incident.

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Post removed because my response should have been PM'd to Oramar.

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Only found out one hour into shift what was going on as far as the memorial service that day. She told me she had to work simply because there was no one to replace her. Like I said, I do not know how much the manager actually understood about the situation. Remember I am staff nurse, not charge nurse, only found out what was going on when I asked why she was so distraught. I was totally appalled.

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Oramar, sorry if my post sounded harsh- I know you are a caring person. Very emotional thing for me. Sorry this happened to her and sorry that you had to deal with this.

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Oh my !

I simply cannot BELIEVE this woman did not stand up for herself and insist on a schedule change or replacement. Or notify them ahead of time of the timing. No way under ANY circumstance would I have missed my own son's memorial !!! :eek:

That said, I would do as the above poster stated, and not make a big deal out of this. She has enough to deal with right now, why add to it?

I'd try to be there for her, advise her gently about allowing herself to grieve, and keep a watchful but loving eye on her to perhaps prevent any further outbursts... but above all be an ear and a shoulder.. or lead her to the appropriate grief counseling if warranted.

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Specializes in ICU.

To be honest - the patient was probably better for being yelled at - think of it as "tough love". As for the LPN - let everyone know quietly - that she is justifiably having a hard time. I would talk to the manager about the change of shift. Remember though do not be surprised if in some way she orchestrated the change herself. Occcasionally when there has been a long protracted and difficult time before death it is difficult for the family to attend the funeral meaning as it does that you have finally let go or maybe it is just too much. To have worked through her son's memorial means that this sort of complex ideation is probably underpinning her behaviour and a very very large dose of guilt for feeling this way. Be her freind - she needs one right now.

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This was not a funeral. It was a memorial service. This person belongs to a ethnic group that burys quickly and then has memorial services few weeks later. It comes to me now that this situation may be partly fueled my financial needs. Like many young people, this person did not have insurance and a great financial burden has fallen on the family. The mother has already used all her bereavment pay at this point.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Originally posted by oramar

This was not a funeral. It was a memorial service. This person belongs to a ethnic group that burys quickly and then has memorial services few weeks later. It comes to me now that this situation may be partly fueled my financial needs. Like many young people, this person did not have insurance and a great financial burden has fallen on the family. The mother has already used all her bereavment pay at this point.

ya know what nevermind. I may be in violation of TOS in replying here.

Let me just ask you to have a bit of compassion for this woman, oramar. And take it up with your manager if it was as bad as you say it was. that is all i can say here and be polite. I am too angry.

happy new year all.

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If I knew I was going to get raked over the coals here I would have just kept mum. My bringing up the money situation is just part of my trying to understand what was going on. I must say my manager is not a beast at all and has been very considerate about bereavment situations. I am here wondering how she could have been so bereft of understanding about this situation. I am wondering if she was just not told this person was missing a memorial service and one of these reasons she was not told had to do with finances. You have to realize I was thrown into a situation that caught me quite by suprise. This person was walking around with a black cloud over there head and in distress and I asked why, a lot of people would not have noticed. It was good that I knew because a little while later when the screaming incident occured I understood. I have been as supportive as I possibly could, the person involved has no problems whatsoever which my behavior. What if you were pilot of an airplane and one third of the way through flight you found that the co pilot was missing a memorial service for his son. What if the plane was flying with a crew of four when it should have had five? Would you land just anywhere and send the very needed crew member off on their way? No you couldn't because you are in the air and it is not possible. What if it was to late to do that anyhow because by the time you found out what was going on the service was partially over. The passengers on the plane have rights also. My resonsibility to patients is foremost. It is important that I know what exactly is going on here. There is something peculiar about the fact that this person did not speak up for themselves. I am prevented by sensitivity from prying too deeply. If this person chose not to tell nurse manager that this was the day of memorial service then discussing it with her (nurse manager) is moot. Now that I think of it I am handling it as gently as possible and I don't think anyone could do it better. I trust me completely. It will be fine. I am going to ask this LPN if I can go to support group with them, I just recently lost someone also.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

I personally feel that under the circumstances, the LPN should have been given the opportunity to attend her son's memorial service regardless. That poor bereaved mom. If it was me that happened to, you want to believe I would have attended my child's service. I would worry about the repercussions later. My child would have come first above a job.

Fran

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

exactly fran/.

they would lose me over this myself. really. no job is worth that.:(

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Ditto, BluEyes, I would have been out of there. No job in the world could replace that moment. I just wonder why she didn't yell at managment?:eek: :(

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