Hello everyone at AN, this is going to be a slight venting session. I will apologize in advance if it becomes a little long...
I am a LPN, graduated last March and I've been working at the same facility since June 08. Well let me just set up the scenario for you all. Last night at work I had an ugly and unfortunate run in with a residents husband. Now this resident is a new admission as of yesterday she has only been there for 1 day. He came into visit, his wife did not have oxygen on and he proceded to go to the desk and ask the STNA's why wasn't it on. The STNA directed him to me, I explained the order I have is for O2 at HS. He said " where did you get that order? thats not right I GAVE THE ORDERS TO THE HOSPITAL!!!" (he has a phD, but is NOT an MD) Well he then walked away, but only for a short time before he came back to attack me again....
So he comes back to the desk, I'm trying to chart. He says "You're the nurse?" I replied "Yes" He said "Well you can't be youre not an RN, LPNs aren't nurses and when I signed my contract here I was told there was always an RN here." Needless to say we got into an argument that I have never encountered with anyone let alone a family member. He kept going on and on about how I'm not a nurse, but his daughter is a RN, I said good for her and congratulations!!! He was disrespectful to myself and my aides. He told my aides they didn't know anything, were they just a bunch of highschool students etc..and the list of name calling continues.
I was so upset in the midst of the argument I told him I don't appreciate the way he was speaking to me and I walked away. I could feel my face steaming hot, I was shaking, my heart was beating in my ears, UGH I was so mad. Mad because I know I do my best at my job and I am a good nurse. Mad because I'm not like that with family members, what happened to my customer service skills, Im supposed to be so helpful....Mad because Ive never been so disrespected or verbally attacked, especially in the middle of my unit. Mad because I know Im not an RN but I don't need someone to repeatedly remind me of my short commings by yelling at me and enforcing the ramblings that YOURE NOT A NURSE YOURE NOT AN RN YOURE NOT A NURSE.
So after being so mad and the situation kept running through my head, of course I cried. I cried myself to sleep last night and I'm crying now. Even though so many residents and family members have said they appreciate me and the other staff, I'm so nice and go the extra mile to assist in any way, I still felt like nothing..just an LPN.
I'm sure tonight will be tense. He will be there again and I'll probably have to speak to management because of the statements the STNAs and I wrote. But I will be as strong as I can, I will not let him see me break down from the effects of his rudeness.
So to everyone out there who has a lesser respect for LPNs remember we are nurses too. We took our state boards, we went to school, maybe not as long, but we busted our butts studying and learning as much as possible to be the best nurse we could be. I have respect for RNs and someday maybe I'll get there but for now I'm just an LPN....
You bet your boots that you are a fine nurse!! Some patients' families love to complain. When I was just out of school, I was often told that I looked 'too young' to be a charge nurse. LOL!! Not a complaint that I hear any more.
What a jerk. I would just ignore comments from him about not "being a nurse". Obviously, he is ignorant, otherwise he would KNOW that an LPN is also a nurse.
Yes, you are a nurse and he is a jerk who is likely projecting his guilt over not being able to care for his wife onto you. Just be nice to him. He will get what LTC is about.
You say the guy has a PhD. We used to call his behavior PhD syndrome. For some reason, when some people earn the right to put those three letters after their name they also think they have earned the right to treat those with an "inferior education" as a lower life form. They also think being called doctor makes them experts in everything.
YOU ARE A NURSE. Do not let him do this to you. If it happens again say something along the lines of "I know you are upset and I would be very happy to discuss this with you once you stop yelling, screaming, and questioning my competence. Please let me know when you are ready to have a calm, intelligent converstion." Then walk away and make him come to you. Unless your DON is a complete worm you should have no problem.
This guy is a bully. People like him behave like this because they get away with it and it gets them what they want often enough that they see no reason to stop doing it.Once you let him know it won't work on you he'll either give you some respect or stay away from you.
I love when non-health care people argue with us! Yes, you are a nurse! A licensed practical NURSE! I have worked with LPN's and, believe it or not, have learned a lot from them. He may be a doctor, but he's not a medical doctor. And, the comment about high school students was very inappropriate. I really feel that patients and their families take our knowledge and skills for granted sometimes. Could you imagine the quality of care residents would receive if there were no aides or LPN's?
Of course you are a nurse. Ignore the egomaniac. There are people out there who put down others because they are insecure, weak, and mean. Ignore them and hold your head high, sweetie.
When I graduated from RN school the best preceptor I had was an LPN, she took the time to actually explain why we were doing what we were doing, never was rushed, even when she had 7 or 8 "low acuity" patients. LPN stands for Licensed Practical Nurse, yes, you are absolutely a nurse. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
If that family member does not do something with his overriding anger issues he will make it to a morgue before he ever gets a chance to be a resident at a long term care facility, to be cared for by the LPNs he so despises.
Ok so last night went better. He showed up about a half hour into my shift and all I could think was why? why did he have to come in the start of the shift, what a way to start. So he didn't say anything right away. He came to the desk and asked if the dietician spoke to his wife about her food preferences, because he was paying for a meal and it should be what she likes to eat. I told him yes they came down and talked with her about her likes and dislikes, he said well my wife said no, they didn't come. So I called the kitchen and found out for sure that they did. He said thanks katie for checking on it. WHAT? I thought to myself he said thanks to me. Well the rest of the time he was there was pretty quiet suprisingly. But he still wont acknowledge me as a nurse, he calls me by name, which isn't bad, better than the other night, I'll take what I can get.
I don't know if managment spoke to him or not. No one said much to me about it yesterday at work except the admissions lady, she said sorry to hear you had a bad night. So I guess everything is ok now, at least so far. I still was feeling a little nervous around him, its like walking on eggshells, because I know the wrath I will have to face if something happens to his wife, like a fall or something.
Once again thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. I really appreciate the support here at AN.
ellakate
235 Posts
You bet your boots that you are a fine nurse!! Some patients' families love to complain. When I was just out of school, I was often told that I looked 'too young' to be a charge nurse. LOL!! Not a complaint that I hear any more.