Losing hope and suicidal

[Marylandburntnurse]

Hi everyone just made a throwaway to see what you guys have to say. I graduated May 2019 and now I’m working in a high acuity ED with *** staffing for the past year and a half now. 

I have only ever wanted to do PEDS but it’s hard as a new grad Bc I have no experience so I thought working here as a start. But this past 6 months I have been trying to look for a jobs in PEDS in any capacity but it’s all just fails from instant rejected or even going into the second interview and share time and still getting rejected. 

I am so burnt out from the ED that it’s effecting my mental health to the point I’m actually suicidal. The tipping point was this past week where I was interviewed twice for my dream job and was offered a position on the unit in which I accepted but it was rescinded Bc the recruiter actually meant to set up share time. After the third interview with this unit, I was only to be rejected. I want to just take my life. My mental health has never been good to begin with but with this job it’s just been declining.

Is it all that horrible to quit with a 4 weeks notice without anything lined up? 

[dianah, ASN]

1 hour ago, Marylandburntnurse said:

hey everyone just an update. I am doing a lot better now and especially reading all the nice comments helped a bunch. Going to see a therapist soon once I get my insurance figured out but I got good people around me to get me through this. 

Good to read this!  You are so worth it!  So, yeah, agree: SOONER rather than later!  (Mama talkin' here!)

[PortlandRN2020, BSN]

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, I hope you can get in to see a counselor asap! No job is worth your life!

[dilaudaddy]

I hope you feel better soon and please update how it works out 

-similarly struggling new grad 

[T-Bird78]

Hugs. You are more than just this job and mean more to people outside that ED. 

[TheDudeWithTheBigDog, ADN, RN]

On 10/22/2020 at 7:10 PM, Marylandburntnurse said:

hey everyone just an update. I am doing a lot better now and especially reading all the nice comments helped a bunch. Going to see a therapist soon once I get my insurance figured out but I got good people around me to get me through this. 

Therapy is one of the most underrated things ever.  Just like how we all go see our doctor regularly for routine checkups, I think we should all start a habit of seeing a therapist a couple times a year just to talk about what's going on in life.  These people are going to notice a change before we notice it in ourselves, and they can give advice that can help with the normal stress that comes with being a working adult.

It's good you're doing better.  You probably have a benefit that gives a discount, or even if it doesn't, it's maybe $1-200 for the average cost.  You don't NEED insurance.  I'd just make an appointment and go.  Therapy is never wasted money, even when you don't need it.