First let me say that I am NOT working at this time. Two years ago I entered a rehab and stayed for a month recovering from pain pill addiction after surgery. After being sober for two years, I had decided to go back to nursing in the field of recovery working at a rehab. Suddenly one day I felt this incredible urge to urinate, and it was downhill after that. After being seen and tested by numerous urologisrts, urogynecologists, colon rectal surgeons and gastroenterologists, I have found out that I have Interstitial Cystitis and a rectocele which will probably require surgery. After 6 months of unrelenting pain, I relapsed on Percosets again. Without the pain pills, I cannot function at all. I do not feel that I can go to meetings not sober. My AA friends think I should celebrate my anniversary in June, because I have not had a drink. Drinking was never my real problem. I am feeling depressed, as I miss my meetings, I know I will never work again, and I feel like all my hard work and aspirations for success are down the drain. I simply cannot live with the pain of this illness. I have had no choice but to go back on the pain killers. I tried Lyrica first with no response. How does one stay sober from pain pills when they are always in pain? I have seen many people celebrate anniversary after anniversary because they don't drink. They take pain pills for pain and don't see that as a relapse. I can't see it that way, as alcohol was never my drug of choice. I also have the belief that alcohol is just drugs in a liquid form. I cannot resolve this situation at this time. I am thankful for an understanding and loving husband and children who I have been completely honest with.. I have learned so much from AA about living and changing my thoughts to ones of honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. I am so disappointed that I cannot go back to nursing, and I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all and ask if anyone has ever experienced this situation. Krisssy RN
krissy - Just wanted to know I was thinking about you. Please get a good support system - everyone here has given such good advice. Just don't give up.
krissy, you didnt relapse. i wish i could just hug you now. go to a meeting! you need the support. we all know we are in a bad neighborhood when we isolate and get inside our own heads!
i have 2 herniated discs. i've been able to take ultram 2 times/day for a few years now. it took me a while to figure out that as long as i dont take tylenol with it im ok. with the tylenol i got the high from it. i talked about this honestly with my doc, my husband, my sponsor, my groups...anyone that owuld lissn, lol.
sometimes we have to have pain meds. but that doesnt mean you've relapsed or are less than anything.
be proud of your sobriety and celebrate your birthday!
That's interesting. Why would tylenol cause one to get high? Krisssy
krissy - Just wanted to know I was thinking about you. Please get a good support system - everyone here has given such good advice. Just don't give up.
Anne, RNC
Oh thank you so much for your support. Nobody from my support group calls me anymore. It feels like they all just don't know what to do to help me. I went to a pain dr. and told him the whole story. He said that it would be better to take Oxycontin 10mg. 2x a day with Percoset as just a breakthrough medication. I tried it today, and the Oxycontin did not work at all. The pain is back after being gone from 6 Percoset a day for the last few weeks. I will call him on Mon. Needless to say I am very disappointed, because the Oxycontin did not make me high, and it did not have the ups and down from the Percoset. BUT, the pain is back. So what is the use of taking it if the pain is back. Maybe it has something to do with the tylenol. I don't know. I wanted to avoid the tylenol, as I though that was useless. I am totoally confused now. Thanks for your suppoort. Krisssy
My god dear there are many pain specialists out there. Do not hinder or hurt yourself with fear. Be totally honest with your Doc. and if he does not want to treat you get one that will but be honest with him/her. They are there to help you that is what you are seeing him/her for. DO NOT GIVE UP maintain a good support system and that includes your doctor. Good luck and remember we all are pulling for you.
I am so sorry to hear of your physical pain. I did a quick search of the internet regarding Interstitial Cystitis and found a couple of links that might be helpful. If you've already read these I apologize for the redundancy.
As for taking opioids for pain control. My first thought is this...because we are recovering addicts does not mean we must suffer with little or no pain control. Substance abuse, or the more correct term, substance MISUSE is defined as using a substance for non-medical, non-prescribed reasons. If you are taking an opioid, as prescribed, for a chronic pain condition that can't be controlled by other means, that is NOT relapse! Let me say that again.
If you are taking an opioid, as prescribed, for a chronic pain condition that can't be controlled by other means, THAT IS NOT RELAPSE!
I attended a half day seminar on chronic pain management in the recovering addict today (talk about a God-incidence). The physician that provided the seminar is the medical director of a leading addiction center in NE Ohio. He is a board certified addictionologist, board certified internal medicine doctor, and consults frequently with pain management specialists when chronic pain patients also have addiction histories. He said a multidisciplinary approach is one which will provide the best chance for effective pain control while minimizing the risk of return to active addiction. He also made it very clear that recovering addicts and/or those with active addiction DESERVE effective pain control along with monitoring by lab/toxicology studies, frequent evaluations by both the physicians treating the pain as well as those treating the underlying condition.
A couple of years ago I heard a pain specialist/addictionologist say he has a very simple but effective way of determining if the use of opioids for chronic pain is appropriate or is becoming a problem. If the patient is taking the medication as prescribed and is able to participate more fully in activities of daily living, then it's most likely appropriate treatment. If the patient is taking the medication and is withdrawing from activities of daily living while at the same time asking for additional prescriptions and exhibiting signs of abuse (doctor shopping, multiple pharmacies, etc.) then admission to inpatient treatment center for an evaluation and more intense treatment of both the pain and addiction is warranted.
Ask your doctor(s) for a pain management consult. Also, ask about an "opioid contract" with your doctor. I can provide additional info if you're interested.
Using pain medications as prescribed for a chronic or acute pain is NOT a relapse! It is NOT relapse.
Thank you Jack. Yes, if you could find me additional information, I would greatly appreciate it. I would love to know how to find an addictionologist/pain Dr. That would be perfect for me. I recently went to a pain Dr. who prescribed long acting Oxycontin `10 mg. with one 5mg. Percoset every hour until pain is gone up to 8 Percoset a day. I find that the Oxycontin is not helping at all, and I have to take 2 Percoset together for breakthrough pain to get any relief. In the end, I am now taking more Opiates than I was before I went to him which was two percosets 5/325 3x a day. So this is not good. I know I am an Opiate addict, and I am very worried. If you can be of any help in finding me the kind of dr. you mentioned, I would be eternally grateful.
Also, if I start going back to meetings, which i miss so much, should I share what i am taking? Thank you so much. Krisssy
You know i don't think it is necessary to share every detail. Just sharing that you are taking pain medication prescribed by a MD is really all the group needs to know. What it is , how much is too much information. I know AA/NA etc are there to provide support but really there is a limit to what needs to be shared. I feel people in their early sobriety feel the need to spill their guts in the meetings ( I did) but this sort of situation (details, how much what it is, etc) is best left to be shared with a few trusted soles, ie a sponser, a good friend.
It would best to find a sponser to help you deal with this. In a group setting like this, there are just as many people as there are opinions. You could end more confused.
Sorry I just went back to your post and saw you are not in early sobriety. So disregard my staement re early sobriety.
Good luck dealing with this and may you find some relief from the pain.
Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
Krisssy,
I agree with Iloveclay...there is no need to share the specifics of your pain or the medications used to treat that pain. There are lots of recovering folks who don't get how horrible chronic pain can be or how tough it is to deal with unrelenting suffering. The zealots will condemn you out of their ignorance, and you certainly don't need that right now!
Here are some links to help with the search for pain specialists.
That's interesting. Why would tylenol cause one to get high? Krisssy
for me, even with 5 yrs sobriety, i still cant even take tylenol or ibuprofen like a "normal" person. if 2 works...then i should take 4. so my husband gives me all medication like that that i might abuse.
but that doesnt mean that even in recovery we shouldnt be allowed pain relief. the problem is inside us. we used drug seeking behavior for so long in our lives that now in sobriety, even when we have a legitimate need for pain relief...we feel guilty. am i right or am i right?
IMO, as long as we are honest with our medical providers and those around us then we can safely get pain relief. but it doesnt mean you relapsed!
You know i don't think it is necessary to share every detail. Just sharing that you are taking pain medication prescribed by a MD is really all the group needs to know. What it is , how much is too much information. I know AA/NA etc are there to provide support but really there is a limit to what needs to be shared. I feel people in their early sobriety feel the need to spill their guts in the meetings ( I did) but this sort of situation (details, how much what it is, etc) is best left to be shared with a few trusted soles, ie a sponser, a good friend.
It would best to find a sponser to help you deal with this. In a group setting like this, there are just as many people as there are opinions. You could end more confused.
Sorry I just went back to your post and saw you are not in early sobriety. So disregard my staement re early sobriety.
Good luck dealing with this and may you find some relief from the pain.
thanks iloveclay! i STILL share too much sometimes. i edited my response after reading your post and realized you were right.
i did the same thing in early sobriety. spilled all the gory details at meetings. it took me a very long time to understand that less is more when sharing sometimes.
Thank you Jack. Yes, if you could find me additional information, I would greatly appreciate it. I would love to know how to find an addictionologist/pain Dr. That would be perfect for me. I recently went to a pain Dr. who prescribed long acting Oxycontin `10 mg. with one 5mg. Percoset every hour until pain is gone up to 8 Percoset a day. I find that the Oxycontin is not helping at all, and I have to take 2 Percoset together for breakthrough pain to get any relief. In the end, I am now taking more Opiates than I was before I went to him which was two percosets 5/325 3x a day. So this is not good. I know I am an Opiate addict, and I am very worried. If you can be of any help in finding me the kind of dr. you mentioned, I would be eternally grateful.
Also, if I start going back to meetings, which i miss so much, should I share what i am taking? Thank you so much. Krisssy
i found an addictiononlogist thru TNPAP. when i started taking my pain med on a routine basis they asked me to get an eval by an addictiononlogist and gave me a few names in my area. simple as that!
i still see him sometimes too just cuz i want too.
i found an addictiononlogist thru TNPAP. when i started taking my pain med on a routine basis they asked me to get an eval by an addictiononlogist and gave me a few names in my area. simple as that!
i still see him sometimes too just cuz i want too.
What does TNPAP stand for? How do I get in touch with them? Krisssy
Oh thank you so much for your support. Nobody from my support group calls me anymore. It feels like they all just don't know what to do to help me. I went to a pain dr. and told him the whole story. He said that it would be better to take Oxycontin 10mg. 2x a day with Percoset as just a breakthrough medication. I tried it today, and the Oxycontin did not work at all. The pain is back after being gone from 6 Percoset a day for the last few weeks. I will call him on Mon. Needless to say I am very disappointed, because the Oxycontin did not make me high, and it did not have the ups and down from the Percoset. BUT, the pain is back. So what is the use of taking it if the pain is back. Maybe it has something to do with the tylenol. I don't know. I wanted to avoid the tylenol, as I though that was useless. I am totoally confused now. Thanks for your suppoort. Krisssy
this is my last post on this thread for now, i promise. but i have to respond to this post. i am not, and have never been, one to sugar coat stuff and call a spade a spade type person so i hope you do not get offended with this post and accept it with the love it is sent with.
this post by you worries me. it sounds as if you are upset you didnt get high and maybe that is the reason you think the med did not work. that is very dangerous thinking, iMO.
also the statement that "nobody from my support group calls me anymore" worries me too.
relapse starts long before you take the drug. it starts with isolating, self loathing, self pity, victim/martyr type behavior. all of which i am seeing here. so what if nobody calls you! how many times have you called them? it is YOUR sobriety in danger, not theirs. therefore it is YOU that should be calling them daily, hourly, whatever you need.
it only works if YOU do the footwork, krissy. nobody is gonna do it for you.
i also do not think a pain clinic is a good idea for an addict. my husband and i have a running joke between us that we are going to the pain clinic for OUR oxycontin. many of his patients think they are not addicts because they go to the pain clinic. so along those lines of thinking...we wanna go too! lol, we invite lots of people in recovery to go with us too. so far we have a busload going.
the reason we joke about it? because pain clinics put EVERYONE on oxycontin regardless of their needs, or dx. IMO, it's just not a good place for us to go. to me it's just a place to get more drugs under the guise of getting medical care.
i know some dont agree with me and im ok with that. i know im one of those AA/NA "hardasses" but thats what i need to be for me to stay sober. doesnt mean it is for you. but it worries me that you post about not getting high.
i think an addicitionologist is a good idea right now along with starting to call those in your support group.
talk, talk, talk! stop isolating or this WILL turn into a relapse.
i was in group with a nurse with a few years sobriety. he had a neck surgery, got pain meds for it and before long..a month i think, just gave up his license so he could use.
our disease is that strong. so our recovery has to be stronger.
sissiesmama, ASN, RN
1,899 Posts
krissy - Just wanted to know I was thinking about you. Please get a good support system - everyone here has given such good advice. Just don't give up.
Anne, RNC