Long...but HELP!

[Jay2daq]

So here is my situation:

I am a nursing student in my junior year while working 2 jobs. I work as a CNA in the hospital as my main source of income, and i work as a CNA in a nursing home to pick up periodic shifts here and there....so its not that often.

So my dilemma is in with my job at the nursing home. i work in the dementia unit, and i've been there for four years i am used to all sorts of different situations. however; one of our newer male residents has gone far beyond my comfort level.

He literally hits on the younger, more "attractive girls." We are used to him making remarks like "Get into bed with me sexy" "I like your body"....or him just plane pleasing himself when one of the younger more "attractive" girls is present. he does get hard, quite often....like when a girl just walks into his room is like BAM!! ok so RARLEY does it ever become a huge issue...like, he makes comments but if we state "No, i am married" (even though were not) he will give it up for a while. So the last several times he has actually cornered me in his room, with him hard stating "Do you like it? huh? do you like it?"....he has grabbed my butt numerous times. I read back in his charts and noticed that he has been doing this almost every shift!! literally, NOTHING has been done. Like i know there isnt a whole lot you can do about it....but its like its being ignored! It is such a violation to us as workers.

So the other day he corners me in his bathroom and grabs my breasts and says "OoOo those are nice, im going to get lucky"...without saying anything i just forced my way out of it and left. i got the nurse and stated "You finish his cares...i am done!"

well....it got reported to the DON that "I did not do my job and finish a residents cares"

Ok...so i really stood up for myself stating this is a HUGE violation of my privacy. and the DON goes on and on about how "he doesnt understand, and he doesnt know what he is doing"

SO THAT MAKES IT OK?!? no....i should NOT have to go through with that at work, i don't care how confused he is...i should not have to put up with someone groping me. And the fact i got in trouble for refusing to finish his cares? what the heck was i supposed to do??? let him sit there and grope me? i dont think so.

So i really argued with her....i speak my mind!!! she was like "Well if you girls would not wear your clothes so revealing"

WHAT?!?!?! they are SCRUBS!!! ok, i wear normal scrubs like anyone else....i dont wear them tight, i don't cut them so my clevage hangs out, i dont wear them where my underwear sticks out. i wear them just like anybody else.....

the DON wont do anything about this.....the fact i am in nursing school, i do not want to risk ANYTHING. i have a huge fear that something is going to happen and i could have reports filed against me and what not.

What would you do??? I requested not to work with him and she pretty much ignored what i requested stating i am over-reacting. Is it wrong to ask that?? i cannot risk my nursing career.!!!

[leslie :-D]

you stated that he backs off when others say they're married...

how would this resident respond if you firmly told him "NO!!!"?

be explicit in your repulsion when he 'man-handles' you.

yet, it is totally unacceptable for the DON to be enabling this behavior.

maybe if a few of you, approached the administrator???

leslie

[SweetOldWorld, BSN, RN]

he does get hard, quite often....like when a girl just walks into his room is like BAM!! ok so RARLEY does it ever become a huge issue...

Tell me you didn't really write this...! :stone

[Jay2daq]

^ HA! no, i did not write that....thats very unprofessional. My charting is very professional...i was just stating that.

and im VERY sure having a 6'3, 300 lb guy would change that real quick. Its different when a 5'2, 21 year old walks in...lol. That would be a freaking miracle if we had a male CNA like that haha.

...unfortunatly we attempt to have male CNA's with him but we only have one. and no male nurses!! So....he is being treated with medications apprently. Obviously isnt doing much cause it has not changed at all.

I worked with him today and i was assigned with him. i grabbed one of the other CNA's and im like "You are coming with me to do this, or im not doing it at all". so i basically demand to have another CNA present untill something gets done.

I agree, i don't necessarily feel upset about the resident because...clearly he was not like this before his illness. (he does have severe dementia). He was a very good family man- very good worker and a wonderfull/faithfull husband. So, i don't blame him...at all. I truley to have a heart and i do understand.

what im upset about is my DON! like telling me that?? it is completley uncalled for and i felt more harassed by her, then by the resident because atleast she knows better.

The nurse i worked with the night he grabbed my breasts...i told her and she acted like it was nothing. I was like...do i need to fill out an incident report? she is like "No, he always does this so you shouldnt have too"

i DID put it in his chart exactly what happened that night, but i didnt write up an incident report.

[caliotter3]

When incidents like this happen with him, I would write up incident reports just in case this takes a bad turn in the future. Cover yourself.

[mustlovepoodles, RN]

Absolutely write an incident report! You would do that if he assaulted another patient, wouldn't you? There is no way I would just sit down and put up with this. It doesn't matter how old you are or how you're dressed, you shouldn't expect to go to work and have to endure the language, the groping, and the physical assaults. The thing that worries me is it sounds like his behaviour with you is escalating. If you aren't documenting these incidents with Risk Management and he goes on to assault another resident heads are gonna roll.

YOur DON is dropping the ball here. I wonder what an attorney would say about this situation? Nobody should have to work in a place where they are sexually harrassed, I don't care who's doing the harrassing.

ETA: I left a job once because of rampant sexual harrassment by the doctors. Even though I had spoken to two of them and demanded that they cease and desist, they thought it was funny and continued saying nasty things and touching me inappropriately. One of them even slid his hand up under my scrubs and undid my bra! And he was considered the best surgeon in the area! I told my husband that if something happened to me he was not to take me to my own hospital because I didn't feel safe. That's when I knew I had to go.

[Moogie]

I worked with him today and i was assigned with him. i grabbed one of the other CNA's and im like "You are coming with me to do this, or im not doing it at all". so i basically demand to have another CNA present untill something gets done.

I agree, i don't necessarily feel upset about the resident because...clearly he was not like this before his illness. (he does have severe dementia). He was a very good family man- very good worker and a wonderfull/faithfull husband. So, i don't blame him...at all. I truley to have a heart and i do understand.

what im upset about is my DON! like telling me that?? it is completley uncalled for and i felt more harassed by her, then by the resident because atleast she knows better.

The nurse i worked with the night he grabbed my breasts...i told her and she acted like it was nothing. I was like...do i need to fill out an incident report? she is like "No, he always does this so you shouldnt have too"

i DID put it in his chart exactly what happened that night, but i didnt write up an incident report.

Your supervising nurses and, indeed, the entire facility are wrong in not providing some sort of protection for their employees. If the resident cannot control his behavior, it is incumbent upon the nursing staff to create a plan of care to provide both adequate care for this man as well as protect employees from his advances. Frankly, I think this is a form of negligence and if the DON refuses to do anything, you may need to take it to administration, corporate headquarters, the ombudsman or the state department of health. As I see it, nursing care for this man may be falling short because no one wants to spend much time with him. This negatively impacts his care as well as staff morale.

Sexual acting-out happens in many facilities but most places include mention of these behaviors in the care plans. In some places, if the care plan stipulates that no staff member is supposed to be alone with a certain patient, staff members can get written up or fired if they don't follow that plan. In other places, it is in the care plan that a nurse or nursing assistant can tell a resident his/her behavior is inappropriate.

Where are the facility's RN coordinators when this is happening? Shouldn't they be writing a care plan that ensures appropriate care for this man as well as staff protection? Where is the facility social worker? And why isn't the resident's primary care provider doing something?

IMHO, I think the DON is partly responsible for contributing to an environment that condones sexual harassment by focusing on something you allegedly did rather than on the resident's behavior. Your co-workers who shrug off this behavior are wrong. No one should have to put up with this kind of treatment.

BTW, it is not a good idea to try to fend off someone's advances by telling him you are married or otherwise attached. I think it gives the wrong message to the offender, that maybe you would be interested, but because of that pesky wedding ring, you just have to resist the temptation. I also disagree with the idea of sending in the guys to always take care of these kinds of patients. Men can be sexually harassed as well---and, as you said, what happens when the guys aren't working or you don't have enough men on staff?

[havenrn]

Seriously DON? I'm sorry for your situation. If your only working prn I would probably quit. That's not a good place to work. Maybe it's the easy way out but really who needs the drama? Not worth it for prn. They should really make it a priority to find more male aides to care for him.

[Jay2daq]

Moogie, i guess i never really thought about the whole marriage thing you stated. It does kind of send him the wrong message. however; it does sometimes work on him.....and at this point im really willing to try anything.

The other thing that makes me really upset is im the only one upset over it!!! like really, im not exaggerating and all the other Aides are like "ah he doesnt mean anything by it. he cant help it"

Um...hello? i hoenstly feel like if the aides would just stand up and say something, not just me...the PRN aide, then something would be done.

I dont think it is going to his POA (who is by the way his wife!!!)

Too add on to the POA thing...our facility holds their meetings with the POA to discuss care plans and any other concerns. I dont know how often but...anyway, Aides and nurses can add their concerns to a "concern sheet" and the DON looks over it and discusses those concerns with family if need be.

NOBODY even added that on his concerns sheet. Had i known his was coming up, i would have (remember im PRN)....so i'm thinking his family is somewhat aware because they did some medication changes, which requires POA approval. I just dont htink they are aware of the extent.

and agreed...i dont think sending a male aide in all the time would really work. It's a smaller, and newer facility and we have one male aide and no male nurses. This male aide works every monday and friday so they made his bath nights monday and friday, which helps alot!

I really appreciate all of your advice here, and atleast i know im not over-reacting with this situation. They were starting to make me feel like i was....just cause they all shrugged it off. I really wish i would have written an incident report. LIke other people have stated, what if he does this to a resident? Some of our female residents are so vulnerable!! the poor lady next door is just this tiny sweet old lady that is just so welcoming. I could see it happening to her if anyone!! (Thanks for bringing that up. I never thought about that before, and i think i will take that to my DON. She wont tolerate that happening i can tell you that much)