Let go during orientation, will I ever work again?

pixie120 · Aug 20, 2011

I am feeling great distress over my current situation.
I received a job offer to work full time in a birthing center. This was what I thought was my dream job and was incredibly excited and was counting my blessings for such a wonderful job. As I got into the unit and the orientation, I felt I was struggling a little bit, but was assured by many a nurse this was normal because I was a new grad. I switched from L&D orientation to mom/baby. The expectation was 3-5 days of orientation then I would do a couple more weeks in L&D. I felt the expectation of being completely oriented to mom/baby in 3-5 days was a little unrealistic, but felt I could do it. I did my absolute best. I struggled with organization a little, but overall felt I was doing well. During this entire process I constantly sought out feedback about how I was doing. I was told I was doing well. Then came a meeting with the two nurses who were orienting me and our unit's educator to check up on my progress. I received some harsh feedback and was told I was doing things wrong, and what not. I was incredibly confused because this was the first I was hearing of this. I was told by one of the nurses I was not where I should be according to how far along I was in my orientation. Then I was told that I was asking way too many questions. I left work that evening pretty upset, because I felt attacked, not constructively criticized. I had a long weekend, but ultimately decided I was going to work extra hard and make sure I addressed every area that was discussed with me. I pumped myself up and was feeling confident I was going to overcome this little road bump. THEN... my next day back at work I was pulled into another meeting. Only this time it was my educator and my manager. To keep it simple, more was said to my manager by my orienting nurses and my manager felt I did not meet their expectations and they fired me. I was in shock. I was not allowed an opportunity to fix any problems, etc.
I have several issues with what happened, but regardless I am jobless now and must find a new job. So I decided to move on and not be bitter. I added the two months of experience to my resume, because I feel it counts as nursing experience. I received the feedback that I should just let people know that the job was just not a good fit.
I had my first job interview yesterday since my firing. I told the manager that the job was not a good fit. The manager asked me "What do you mean it wasn't a good fit?" (With quite the attitude I might mention). I said "The manager felt as though I needed more nursing experience to be successful in a high acuity, specialty unit" (my exact words). This manager sneered at me and said "OH!" I was incredibly offended. To say the least the rest of the interview was quite rocky. I got the impression I was wasting her time and she was not nice at all. I left the interview feeling very beat down.
So, here are my questions for you all (preferably management): Is what happened to me with my first job going to negatively effect me the way it did in this interview? I am afraid I will have an incredibly hard time getting a job now. Also, my confidence has been stomped on twice now. I am afraid that if I am offered another job that this will effect my performance and I will constantly doubt myself to the point of performing poorly. Any suggestions??

As a DNS in LTC, I want to hear that you didn't burn a bridge, you take responsibility for all of your actions, and you are a sharp, quick learner and eager to learn and then tell me, what YOU can bring to MY building. I get nervous when I hear that "the last job just didn't work out" and there is no ownership, irregardless of all that you posted, find a way to frame it up differently so you can work effectively. Then, when you get hired at the new job, don't talk about your old job, at all.

OCNRN63, RN · Aug 20, 2011

Nobody in here mentioned lying about anything. If the application asks not only for former employers, but also 'where have you been in orientation but not actually employed', or something to that effect, then that would call for listing that episode. But I have yet to see such an application. Some things are just not anybody's need to know.

There were a few posts that had suggestions for what to say if questioned about the time away from working that were clearly lies.

OCNRN63, RN · Aug 20, 2011

The thing is, if someone has spent six months in orientation, it's going to be almost impossible to pretend at the new job that they have no experience. At some point, it's going to show, one way or another. If it were me, I would still let the person interviewing me know.

pixie120 · Aug 20, 2011

All of you advice is much appreciated! AND has made me feel a lot better! I never realized that what I thought was a eagerness to learn and make sure I was doing things right could have come across as needy or incompetent. I will definitely make sure that the next job I do get I will have a different approach. I will work on my confidence and assertiveness.

Are you sure they said you asked too many questions? or did they MEAN "You should know where tofind the answers yourself?. (And only you can answer that question) (Not trying to be mean, your attitude seems fine, I would interview you, hire you probably, but I would have to hear YOU take full responsibility, in a positive manner, for the previous situation ie It wasn't a good fit and I feel I have more to learn, I am looking for a supportive, teaching environment...... I have done and am doing extensive training, on my own, to beef up my skill set....I have enrolled in some refresher courses...I have a strong RN mentor who spends time with me...... I have set these goals for myself to learn in the next job..... I bring to the table a great attitude, caring and positive demeanor and an eagerness to become a strong leader in my field....

I just hired an experienced RN, she interviewed well, and then she spent every shift, coming in my office, asking me, the Director of Nursing Services, where she might find this, and that, and what about that,...and where are the nail clippers (I seriously had to comment on that one to her, I made her repeat that and then asked her, " Are you asking ME where the nail clippers are?". She failed to listen to her preceptor and she, of course, failed orientation, cuz once she stopped asking me all those questions, then the drama began. She lasted all of 2 weeks..experienced RN...or... experienced "I am helpless??? YOu will help me RN".

For me, I don't mind if the person is asking legitimate questions, and then WRITES it down, and then acts on what I have advised them. Many times, I have to repeat instructions over and over, so I have simply resorted to putting these little ditties IN writing to begin with, yet some nurses STILL don't understand. I guess it depends on how much one WANTS to understand. (I hope this helps, don't take anything they said personal or to heart, you arein a large learning curve as a new grad).

ht07401 · Aug 20, 2011

Some of you had some very tough things to say, but I thank you all for being honest. I think part of my failure in orientation was my lack of experience. I was afraid to admit that the thoughts that maybe I should have waited for a med-surg job offer had been creeping into my mind. Regardless, I am taking all the advice to heart and am concentrating my resumes to med-surg, and I am trying to enroll to finish my bsn (with hopes of refreshing my nursing skills).

chocolateskye · Aug 20, 2011

I am sorry to hear about your situation dear, but I have to agree with 1hotnurse08. This is a common practice in nursing. Nursing is nothing like what they teach out of nursing books. Nursing is an applied science which means you learn on the job! Not every patient will be text book.You have peoples lives in your hands (why is it wrong to ask an experienced nurse?) I also have had a hard time with nursing and nurses with their stupid idiosycrasies. Its a shame that experienced nurses are behaving like children, they are teaching and breeding these super cocky, undereducated fake it until you make ass nurses that will turn right around and take care of us when our health fails or one of our love ones for that matter! We should work with those that are struggling, pull them to the side and encourage them because we know it is hard for those of us with experience to show up to work some days. Always be yourself dont change a happy nurse equals happy patients. Nursing needs a swift kick in the rear it is really getting harder and other nurses are not working together we are lining up to through each other under the bus just to appear confident and competent! I also agree that this job has no place on your resume. Your new job doesnt have to know a thing, take it as learning experience. Yes it hurts! Yes its embarrassing! Will you get over it YES! It will only make you stronger. Anyway I dont let them change me, I know why I became a nurse and please believe me there is always someone that will be willing to let you be the best nurse that you can be! We all have had our journey from novice to expert and you will get there too!

roseonye · Aug 21, 2011

i readlly dont know why some nurses treat new nurses like that. even at my place of employment a nurse did the same thing and gave a harsh feedback about an orientee and she was let go. then the nurse felt bad about what she did to the new grad. nurses eat there young. some nurses think they own the place. i swear to God it makes me so mad

Ruby Vee, BSN · Aug 21, 2011

i don't think there's nearly as much young-eating or backstabbing going on as some of you would have it. sometimes it's just easier for people to blame it all on "nurses eating their young" than it is to admit they screwed up or that they had some responsibility for their own failure.

regarding the asking too many questions -- i wasn't there and i don't really know what kind of questions you were asking. if you were asking the same questions over and over without seeming to retain the answers, that was too many questions. if you were asking questions of the wrong person . . . for instance, asking the social worker where to find the kcl riders or asking the md about nail clippers, that could also be perceived as too many questions. if you're asking things that you could easily look up but you haven't bothered to because "it would be so easy for my preceptor to just tell me", that's too many questions. if you're expecting anyone to spoon feed you the answers, that's too many questions. if someone just spoon feeds you the asnwers, you not only won't learn how to look things up for yourself, but you probably won't retain the answers anyway.

one more comment about "backstabbing preceptors" who tell you that you're doing well to your face and then complain about you to your manager . . . again, i wasn't there. but it has been my experience as a preceptor that if you try to be gentle with the negative feedback, some new grads won't process it. no one likes direct negative feedback, even though many say they'd prefer it that way. but sometimes, you just have to be brutally honest or the new grad doesn't get it. my old manager said that you have to say three positive things for every negative thing when you're correcting someone, but sometimes all they hear is the three positives and the negative just flies right past them. i've encountered a few orientees who don't understand that they're doing poorly even when you meet with them every day and give them feedback in writing. i'm not saying that's the op, but it's worth thinking about.

DeLana_RN, BSN, RN · Aug 21, 2011

Nobody in here mentioned lying about anything. If the application asks not only for former employers, but also 'where have you been in orientation but not actually employed', or something to that effect, then that would call for listing that episode. But I have yet to see such an application. Some things are just not anybody's need to know.

Hmm... in orientation, you are actually employed (unless you don't get paid). I agree with many others, you can leave this job off your resume. However, you are typically required to list all former employers (within reason, not from 40 years ago) and frequently have to account for any periods of unemployment/gaps as well.

I may be alone in this opinion, but I think it's too risky to leave it off. Besides, in many places the nursing community is smaller than you may think....

DeLana

rn/writer, RN · Aug 21, 2011

A new grad in this economy would not have to "account for periods of unemployment." Some old grads still haven't gotten regular nursing jobs since graduating in December or even the previous May (2010).

As I said, that's one of very few blessings to come out of these tight times.

joanna73, BSN, RN · Aug 21, 2011

I'm a second career nurse. Many moons ago I was in retail mgmt, then hotel mgmt. I have had my share of trainees. During the selection process, my colleagues and I could care less about noting employment of a month or two, unless huge gaps existed. Obviously, opinions vary on this. However, a resume should be tailored for the position. I wouldn't worry about including a short orientation. What is the point?

elprup, BSN, RN · Oct 1, 2011

Some of you had some very tough things to say, but I thank you all for being honest. I think part of my failure in orientation was my lack of experience. I was afraid to admit that the thoughts that maybe I should have waited for a med-surg job offer had been creeping into my mind. Regardless, I am taking all the advice to heart and am concentrating my resumes to med-surg, and I am trying to enroll to finish my bsn (with hopes of refreshing my nursing skills).

I started in med surg and my experience was no better than yours.