Less support from friends

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Hello everyone, :)

I have about 11 months left in nursing school and am officially a senior. While this is super exciting and motivating, at times I feel that not one of my close friends from high school are supporting me. I have always supported their goals and aspirations but they haven't done the same for me. At first this didn't affect me but now it gradually is. They all have serious relationships, engaged, married, etc. and I have always been happy for them but I don't necessarily feel that is being reciprocated. I am getting more stressed and realizing I may be losing friends due to the challenge and pressures of nursing school. Has anyone felt this way and how did you not allow it to get the best of you? I appreciate it! :)

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this...it can feel like a blow when we do not receive the support we have come to expect.

I am curious...how old are you? I am only asking because I have not spoken to any of my high school friends since the day I graduated high school. Most adults I know do not regularly hang out with their high school buddies.

Sometimes friendships follow a normal course of development. They serve a purpose in that moment, but most do not last forever. Perhaps it is time to cultivate new friendships with those who will support you.

Good luck to you!

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Believe it or not, this is a common experience. While you may --MAY-- keep a high school friend for life, most people find that high school friendships run their course as lives diverge.

You are on a different path. You will naturally acquire new friendship circles as you travel it. Embrace your future and you won't worry too much about what people from your past think if they obviously don't spend much energy thinking about you.

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I'm going through something similar - though I'm older than you by a bit I think, and most of my high school friends and I have parted ways over the years.

I think it's really normal - as we grow our goals and dreams change, and so a lot of our friendships change, too. It also doesn't help that school takes up a significant amount of time and you just don't have the time (or energy) to put into your relationships that you did before.

I'm in the process of trying to heal a very important friendship that was damaged over the last semester. I won't take all the blame for it, but part of it was just my lack of interest in anything but school, my family and sleep. I'm trying to be mindful and make an effort, but it's hard.

Good luck!

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Thank you so much for your response! And I am 23 years old. And you are so right, all friendships do not last forever, very valid point. Thank you again!

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Thank you for your response! And that honestly makes me feel better knowing it is very common. I do worry a lot about others and I shouldn't allow that to continue for the rest of my life. Thank you for the amazing advice.

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I'm glad this is more common than I thought it was. It does get harder and sometimes it's not our fault. I hope your friendship maintains and gets stronger in the long run. Thank you so much for your advice and input. Best of luck to you as well!

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
I do worry a lot about others and I shouldn't allow that to continue for the rest of my life.
There's a saying that applies to fading friendships:

"If you care for someone, set 'em free. If the person comes back, it was meant to be."

In other words, old friends often drift apart in the normal course of life. If a friend no longer reciprocates the same level of attention and concern as you do, it is time to let him/her go without any malice in your heart.

If this friend reemerges with sincere intentions (e.g. no desire to use you), take it one step at a time. More often than not, he/she needed some space. The friendship will probably last. But if the friend never initiates contact again, let it be. Set 'em free.

One of my unofficial guidelines for adult life is to invest just as much time and effort into others as they spend on me. Good luck to you!

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I loved that quote! Im definitely going to post that quote in my room. Thank you so much for your response and best of luck to you as well in your endeavors in life!

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What kind of support are you looking for that you are not getting from your friends?

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Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.

By the end of college, I was in touch with exactly zero friends from high school. People grow up, change, life moves on. Friendships come and go in life. You will get out into the "real world" and find new friends all over again as you create a whole new life for yourself. Sometimes it is bittersweet, but its life. I can honestly say that the best times of my life happened AFTER college. Don't spend too much time looking back - look forward!

Wishing you lots of luck!

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Um, you need to drop them like a bad habit.

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