Leaving it at the door

ThrowEdNurse, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2008

I totally feel your pain. Are you taking enough frequent vacation time? Even if you don't go anywhere just not being at work makes a huge difference. Also, make sure you have a life outside of work. The job really does wear on you when it becomes the biggest part of your life. Get a really time consuming hobby that takes a lot of focus to distract you. Exercise is great also, don't need to explain that here. And finally, what has worked well for me is finding happy hour. The daiquiri bar down the street has 2 for 1 every Tues, so you'll know where to find me! Also, try melatonin. It does an awesome job of helping me sleep and is an OTC herbal supplement.

lunden · Oct 8, 2008

try not to sweat the small stuff and only do what you can do. try having a sense of humor about things, think positive thoughts and be glad that it's not you laying on that table.hope this helps.:nuke:

mmutk, BSN, RN, EMT-I · Oct 8, 2008

I feel your pain and know what you mean, with me it only lasted about 2 years, and then I just stopped caring when I left the door. That's how I adapt, it may not be the best, but if I am not taking care of you right this second...I could care less about you.

ThrowEdNurse, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2008

I know you can leave it at the door. Just think: Let's say you are tailgating at your local college just before a major game. A young male falls down, obviously drunk and begins to vomit. The ambulance crew arrives. Would you 1) begin to give them orders, 2) act like you never saw a thing, 3) or point and laugh? If you said point and laugh, you're going to be okay. All sane ED nurses know this is the right answer. Last week a paramedic friend of mine told me how some nurses began to tell her what to do in a similar situation. I was shocked! Then she explained that these were not ED nurses. OH! Now I get it. You know when you are at work and when you are at play, right? Now really embrace those differences....

mmutk, BSN, RN, EMT-I · Oct 8, 2008

I know you can leave it at the door. Just think: Let's say you are tailgating at your local college just before a major game. A young male falls down, obviously drunk and begins to vomit. The ambulance crew arrives. Would you 1) begin to give them orders, 2) act like you never saw a thing, 3) or point and laugh? If you said point and laugh, you're going to be okay. All sane ED nurses know this is the right answer. Last week a paramedic friend of mine told me how some nurses began to tell her what to do in a similar situation. I was shocked! Then she explained that these were not ED nurses. OH! Now I get it. You know when you are at work and when you are at play, right? Now really embrace those differences....

Perfect example. The ones who start telling the paramedics what to do and what not are not true ER nurses. unless CPR is needed and not being done I'm not having anything to do with that. :bow:

NurseAmy · Oct 8, 2008

What things are you doing to nurture yourself every day? You are taking care of folks all shift long at work, but are you taking care of yourself too? For me, yoga is the key to staying decompressed. If I don't do a yoga class at least twice a week I am too wretched to be around. I also find knitting or other needlework to be a big help to reset my brain into home mode after being in work mode. You have to experiment and find the hobby that works for you-if work leaves you feeling really ****** off and angry, maybe a kickboxing class is what you need!

You can also practice a little visualization exercise as you leave work after your shift or when you are trying to go to sleep - I know it sounds hokey, but it helps! Take a few minutes and visualize yourself like you are Mr. Rogers, changing out of your work sweater and shoes and into your play clothes, leaving behind all the work crap. I visualize taking off the work coat, folding it and putting 'it' (aka work worries) into a chest and locking the lid. The more detailed you can visualize the better- like let yourself feel the weight of the work coat, the color, do a little stomp on the chest, etc. I follow that with a breathing exercise (Dr. Weil's program is good) to get rid of the adrenaline overload from being stressed out and to relax, and I am good to go, work forgotten, crisis over, until the next shift. Of course, my visualization for preparing for work involves lacing up combat boots.... :chuckle

Take care of you, you are the only one who will!!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 8, 2008

needing some advice. i love the er-i really can't see myself elsewhere. but i have a problem with "leaving it the door" when i'm leaving work. i don't sleep well because i am stressed out so much. so does anyone have any good and simple ideas for me?? i have asked to work shorter hours but it didn't go over. i just want to love what i do and not feel defeated when i leave. it seems like more and more people come in with stupid complaints and i really have a hard time keeping up with them (and the call light) and the critical patient that just rolled in....hope this all makes sense. thank you in advance.
ps. i know that i will probably get the "burn out" phrase, but i'm not leaving the er because i do like change that occurs everyday. it is just the other crap that gets on my nerves!!!

if your problem is truly in "leaving it at the door," decreasing hours per shift isn't going to help much. what will help is taking care of yourself after you've left work. make sure you take the time you need to decompress before you try to sleep. in my worst stages of burn-out, i was journalling for hours or walking my dogs three or more miles after a 12 hour shift. both exercise and talking it out help, but if you have no one to talk to who "gets it," a common enough situation for nurses, journalling helps.

if you love the er and don't want to leave it, sometimes a simple change of shift is all you need. or maybe to work at the er across town, or in the next town. at my worst, i moved 3,000 miles to work in a very similar unit to the one i'd left. work was different -- my whole life was different!

once i got totally burned out and decided to leave nursing. i went and got a master's degree in another discipline -- and found out that i really loved nursing and didn't want to leave. the classes i took helped relieve the stress of my job, and i found i really wasn't burned out after all -- or anymore, anyway. another time a friend talked me into taking scuba lessons. somehow, when you're sitting at the bottom of a lake concentrating on breathing slowly so you don't suck up all your air, work seems far, far away! i became a certified diver, and we spent every weekend off diving. we met a lot of guys that way, and she got married. but i still had a hobby to share with the man i eventually married!

as long as work isn't the only thing in your life (and i know all too many nurses who are or have been stuck in that situation) you can relieve the stress by concentrating more on another aspect of your life. good luck, and let us know how it works out for you!

TraumaNurseRN · Oct 8, 2008

These have been all great posts!

I have a story here that brings a smile to my face everytime I tell it, so, needing a smile today I will repeat it here. (It's long...but oh well)

Plans to meet my husband after my 12 hour shift at our favorite restr. one night at 730pm were in place. My son was a senior at the time and had dropped my husband off at the restr. and I was to meet him there, eventually driving home as not to have two cars...(essentially I was the Designated driver...lol...so to speak...or we could call a cab and have only one car left in the parking lot)....So, I meet my hubby there. He asks me how my day went?.....(May I say, nobody should ask that question if they really don't care to hear the answer) It was a rough day, and I sucked down 2 cocktails like they were lemonade...lol...

My husband says to me....(my husband is a CEO of a company and I know he has stress, different stress than I do, but stress none-the-less) "You have no clue what real stress is".....

I stay there and get the dinners and pay. I leave the restr. and call him to see if he got a cab....He (lol) had no money/no credit cards, and instead of coming back in with his tail between his legs and apologize chose to walk 7 miles home.

I allowed him to walk those 7 miles home as a stress reliever....and actually beeped at him as I passed by. :yeah: :up: Ahhhh, so nice as a stress reliever for me...hahahahha

mpccrn, BSN, RN · Oct 8, 2008

'burn out" is a cop out. you let it win over you. you are a thinking, caring human being. do the job, maintain a sense of humor. if at the end of the day no one died that wasn't suppose to, those that were supposed to did in as peaceful manner as possible and you were standing up at the end of your shift........your job is done for the day. as a nurse you only have control over yourself. it's the nature of the job. you control your attitude, your perception and what you choose to put your energy into. make them good choices........then you can leave it at the door. :smokin:

JB2007, ASN, RN · Oct 8, 2008

These have been all great posts!
I have a story here that brings a smile to my face everytime I tell it, so, needing a smile today I will repeat it here. (It's long...but oh well)
Plans to meet my husband after my 12 hour shift at our favorite restr. one night at 730pm were in place. My son was a senior at the time and had dropped my husband off at the restr. and I was to meet him there, eventually driving home as not to have two cars...(essentially I was the Designated driver...lol...so to speak...or we could call a cab and have only one car left in the parking lot)....So, I meet my hubby there. He asks me how my day went?.....(May I say, nobody should ask that question if they really don't care to hear the answer) It was a rough day, and I sucked down 2 cocktails like they were lemonade...lol...
My husband says to me....(my husband is a CEO of a company and I know he has stress, different stress than I do, but stress none-the-less) "You have no clue what real stress is".....
I stay there and get the dinners and pay. I leave the restr. and call him to see if he got a cab....He (lol) had no money/no credit cards, and instead of coming back in with his tail between his legs and apologize chose to walk 7 miles home.
I allowed him to walk those 7 miles home as a stress reliever....and actually beeped at him as I passed by. Ahhhh, so nice as a stress reliever for me...hahahahha

Thanks for sharing that story! I am still laughing. Sounds like one of me and my husbands dicussions. Only so far he has not had to walk home.

RNperdiem, RN · Oct 8, 2008

The people there for stupid reasons can wear a person out, especially if those people are demanding too.

OK, you like ER, consider a change of field such as ICU. With rare exceptions, patients are in ICU because they need to be there. The patients are genuinely sick and it is rewarding to help in their recovery.

You could still do some PRN work in the ER.