Leaving Bedside Nursing

[Deebuzz]

Your emotional, physical and mental health will suffer along with your family life. I have finally decided to leave the bedside and I've never felt so happy. At only 25, I felt like I was going to be stuck in this state for the rest of my working life but I found the courage to finally make the decision that saved my health and my marriage.

I went into nursing with the intention of helping people and being the one to make a difference to those who may feel hopeless. All my intentions were quickly shut down when I started working on the floor.

We deal with some unappreciative, sarcastic, rude, and egotistical (patients, family members, physicians, coworkers, and managers). There is no care in nursing just bottom-line concerns.

My first nursing job was ok, I worked in ND at the time, I moved to FL and that gave me the green light to officially leave floor nursing. I hate the anxious feeling before every shift, the nagging family members, pts who are rude self-entitled, coworkers who throw each other under the bus, physicians who disregard concerns, and a whole lot of other things I can elaborate about that is just downright awful.

I'm glad to say my degree didn't completely go to waste as I am now an RN case manager. I believe being away from the bedside will renew my interest. I refuse to live a day dreading having to go to work, nursing has literally changed how I respond to people before I use to smile at everyone now I walk past people with my face looking like a pit bull ready to bite.

Whenever someone would tell me to smile I thought, "Wow I have changed for the worst" I refuse to be a martyr for this profession.

Taking care of myself is more important than risking it for people who **** on theirs.

[baleen]

Born4spending said:

OMG I totally understand! Nursing was my second career which I was only going to work at for 10 years. I'm now 20+ in critical care nursing. Initially worked in a level 1 inter city trauma step down position. That job was harder than anything I have ever done, I left after three years jaded by how the patients, hospital, physicians and co-workers treated one another. Saw and learned so much but I would not go back for any amount of money! Unfortunately, because RN is after your name it gives some, not all, the right to disrespect and degrade you. I care for my patients as is they were my family but that does not give them the right to be verbally and or physically abusive, same goes for physicians. Nursing is one of if not the hardest degree to obtain, yet so many times I hear "just a nurse". I'm glad you were able to find a position that suits you.

I think nursing is hard in the way that status is an important dictator of wellbeing, and nurses get a lot of crap from all over. They are not trained enough and in a rigorously focused enough manner to demand more respect. They get on the job training. I can understand your feeling frustrated and put upon. But I would say that the buck stops at nursing being one of the hardest degrees to attain. It may be a quibble, but nursing is full of silliness that any person with a decent head on their shoulders can do. Mostly its just time. There is very little in the way of actual mind bending. I wish it were different. If it was, we could justify getting more autonomy as we would be more of "the cream of the crop"

[psychnpbkny, MSN]

NurseRies said:

I think it's blame game to say nursing ruins marriages. It does if you let it. I've had opposite schedules with my husband for 7 years, but I understand that I don't need to be with him 24/7. If we want the same time off we plan ahead. I don't bring my job home with me and burden him with my woes. His job is hard too in a different way. I come home, and spend time with him when I can, keeping a positive attitude and thankful for a good job in tough times.

Don't let your circumstances determine your attitude. If you are depressed, seek medical help, it is a disease and I understand that. Maybe re-evaluate your well being.

Ok there were a lot of "don't be negative", "it's your fault you can't handle the bedside", and "you have a disease get some help already" comments in this forum that sound more in the defense of the authors' chosen lifestyle than actually wanting to genuinely help this person achieve happiness in life. Okay fine. I'm also one of those people who left the bedside and am SO amazingly happy that I googled "nurses who left the bedside" to land upon this forum to seek validation, but also to provide support for those who did it--Horray! I now get to choose my own schedule, am working on a business plan, and have every friday and saturday off.

Of course bedside work affects your relationships, you sleep weird hours, are blamed for everything, don't get breaks, miss out on important events, and it affects your rhythm. It's sad that fellow nurses scream some version of "weak" when the bedside doesn't vibe with someone. Health care professions are tiered, customer service-based under resource-restricted environment (get a soda for the family members or suffer from one star ratings on Yelp!), and nursing has the most workplace horizontal violence (as evidenced by comments on this forum and a nonprofit in DC that receives calls from occupational abuse). Having changed specialties, some preceptors and instructors also treat training like hazing, to emulate the old days. Well some of us want to put an end to it. By leaving.

In any case, I think it is wise to gain as much experience as possible outside of one area if possible early on, or you may lose mobility in your career. This is not the era for one career forever. We must think outside the box, have conversations with nurses or professionals who are doing something different, not the same. All of the nurses I have known who have left the bedside have NO regrets. They are creative go getters and figured out a better career for themselves. I also understand that this flexibility is dependent on your circumstance (namely children and debt). I am also in NYC, where there are just more jobs and small business opportunities..period. Cannot say the same for say, Omaha Nebraska.

On one hand NurseRies is right. Take charge of your circumstances. And this forum creator did! She realized bedside was miserable for her and put an end to it. However, in addressing mental health, which is unfortunately a severely neglected area in our (everyone's) education, it is probably not the best to call someone diseased. Or describe their moment of anxiety as a disease. People will cope as they see fit. Simply commanding someone to seek therapy is seldom convincing nor sincerely helpful (just like me right now declaring what is the "better" advice to give, you will still regardless cling to your paradigm). People have to be ready for change to seek and plan for it, then action follows. They can put their own label on their feelings and the best we can do is collaborate with others to help the individual decide what is best for their own happiness. NurseRies' relationship with her husband is probably not comparable to the forum creator's relationship with her husband/wife. Not everyone copes with stress by holding feelings in and being positive all the time, but some people do--and they are both fine! As they say defense mechanisms are actually our brain's natural method of preventing us from experiencing negative effects of trauma, and it can be arguably healthier to put them to use.

On another note, also have my qualms with providers (many nurses...) calling people "addicts" or "schizophrenic" and wish we could address this habit. It happens and we grew up with that language, but let's look from the other side and see what it's like to be identified solely by a mental/any illness. The person-centered verson would be to say "person with schizophrenia/an addiction".

Sorry to pick on this post but it was the first one to make me (insert palm up emoji). A lot of posts delivered the same tone. Just support this person and wish him/her/they the best!

Peace

[jaderook01, BSN, RN]

First of all, it is okay to acknowledge that you don't like doing something. It's especially good if you're also doing something about it and making a new plan for yourself. Bedside nursing isn't for everyone. I happen to like it- but then- this is my second career- and what I've encountered so far is not nearly as stressful to me as teaching middle school for fourteen years. That was killing my soul. Work also doesn't go home with me anymore- which is fantastic. When I clock out I'm done. Anyway, good luck to you. I hope you like your new position better.

[jaderook01, BSN, RN]

dcoopeRN said:

I have survived at the bedside for over 16 years by mastering the concept of being pleasantly disengaged. Some days are easier than others but for the most part by the time I am pulling into the driveway at home after a shift then I have stopped thinking about work.

Pleasantly disengaged. This is it- exactly! Well said.

[jrlmom]

Sounds like someone went into nursing for the paycheck, not the job.

[Tracyg01]

I don't mean any disrespect at all but have you thought about an antidepressant? You seem very angry. I know when my anxiety was at its worst, I felt mad all the time. Best of luck to you!

[Melbell85]

I have been in case management and bedside nursing. I would choose bedside any day! If you think dealing with rude people at the bedside is difficult, wait until you find a job in management.

I would encourage you to evaluate what it is that led you to nursing. Perhaps you just need to find an area that fits you. Perhaps nursing is not for you. Yes, we sacrifice our life to help others. If you find yourself burning out, step back and re-evaluate. Know the signs of burnout. Nothing says you have to stay at the job you are currently at. Why do you think nurses move around in the field?

[TNnursejane, BSN, RN]

You know, nursing isn't for everyone. I've been a nurse for 30+ yrs and I've left the bedside several times throughout the years. I've left the bedside then went back. I finally left the bedside 7 yrs ago. There are so many options in nursing. I've worked in Risk Management, Education. Corrections, Endoscopy, etc. Don't feel bad. Being at the bedside is not all that nursing is about. You can care for people in different ways. You can make a difference in about anyway as a nurse.

[Purplemommy, BSN, RN]

What area of Florida & what parent company owns Your hospital? Just curious because 35 with 5 & 2 is horrible. We think 32 with 6, 2 techs and a free Charge is no bueno, but occasionally doable if all else fails. 35 c 5 & 2 would mean the directors working the floor!

[Coloradonurse1983]

NurseRies said:

I think it's blame game to say nursing ruins marriages. It does if you let it. I've had opposite schedules with my husband for 7 years, but I understand that I don't need to be with him 24/7. If we want the same time off we plan ahead. I don't bring my job home with me and burden him with my woes. His job is hard too in a different way. I come home, and spend time with him when I can, keeping a positive attitude and thankful for a good job in tough times.

Don't let your circumstances determine your attitude. If you are depressed, seek medical help, it is a disease and I understand that. Maybe re-evaluate your well being.

That's manageable for some people. It's not for mine. My husband is is active duty army. He doesn't get to pick his schedule. He leaves for weeks at a time and will deploy for 9 months coming up. We work opposite schedules on days that I work. Nursing and jobs can have a huge impact on marriage. We don't let it, but that doesn't make it easy either.

[stucker2]

After only being a nurse for 1.5 years it's unfortunate you have such a distaste for working with people and families on the floor. We have extremely difficult jobs today as we work with an ever increasing population of "me" centered people. This includes our colleagues. And people become even more self centered when they are ill or their loved one is suffering. I think it's good you've looked to finding a different niche in your career and I wish you well but perhaps you too are one of the self centric. Instead of dreading each day thinking about how you would be treated begin each day with how you can make a difference for others. I hope as a case manager that is part of your thought process. That is why we become nurses!

[alterbody]

Yes. Yes. Yes. Run. I have several aides who will complain about their work load and the frustration of working bedside. And, then, comment that they are heading to nursing school. I do my best to provide a reality check and encourage them to seek out a different profession. I work in ECF/Rehab/LTC facility. Some days we are a nurse over and an aide short. I gladly volunteer to cover the aide position. Young women who are going into bedside nursing have no idea about the weight and responsibility loaded onto present day RNs. The money is not that great, it's also not that bad. But, you've got to have a strong constitution for swallowing ****. As in "Load up my plate, I'll just keep shoveling it in." You have to be fully capable of passing the buck back to the administration. You have to be able to say, "I've contacted your doctor and he hasn't responded yet. Perhaps you need to seek another physician." Or, "That is a matter to take up with your Social Worker." I think as an RN, you need to educate yourself as to which problems belong to you, and which problems belong to others. I am surviving because I have decided to learn "What's not my F'ing problem." A screaming demented patient is not my problem. It is the problem of the other patients. I tell them to complain to the DON and the administrator. A patient who will not eat is not my problem. It is the problem of the family, who can freely volunteer to come in and feed them. Patients who get up and walk around and fall or just fall because they are impulsive and can not comprehend or are too stubborn to follow instructions are not my problem. I can do the paperwork for their fall with no problem to me. They are the problem of the administration who has to account for the number of falls in their facility. I will not it let it be my problem when a 300 pound diabetic eats 2 deserts and their blood sugar goes off the chart, or they get an infection from all the sugar in their blood. RNs are notorious for being enablers of bad behaviors, and wearing them as their personal failures. I don't do that. I go to work for my 12 hours; I chart my direct experience with quotations of what 'they said' and what 'I said.' My heart is mostly hard now. I interact very well with patient's whose condition is not one of their own poor choices. I give drug addicts their pain meds as prescribed, because "it's not my problem." In my setting, I just have to close the room door on the patient who is schizophrenic, and psychotic, and screams at the phone for her imaginary friend to call her. Then I chart the behavior and place an order for a psych consult. Not my problem. If you don't have the constitution for dealing with the most dysfunctional of the world's population, and are not able to blow off the grief and frustration at the end of a work day, DON'T become a nurse. Attitude is everything. To do this job successfully and well, I think a person has to have a VERY clear sense of their own personal boundaries. RNs remain in high demand. You can get crapped upon anywhere. If you don't like your crap job, get another one. They're all basically the same.