Keeping your maiden name

He was already acclimated to life with a feminist who wasn't going to fall into traditional roles, poor fellow. :)

Feminism is not a bad thing. A feminist is a person who believes a man and a woman should be socially, politically, and financially equal. I think your husband is a lucky man. We need to move away from the antiquated 1300s mentality of women stay at the home and cook and be a man's property. Actually, that's been going on even as recently as the 1950s.

I'm just a RN, but I changed my last name when I got married. I went from 8 letters to 5 letters, and I like it because now my first and last names are both 5 letters. I like things being even. Obviously it isn't going to work that way for everyone, but that was my internal justification. I grew up with a mother that didn't have the same last name as me (it was actually her ex-husband's last name, ha!) and that made things slightly complicated so I always told myself I'd change my name.

My old last name was also unpronounceable and my new last name is a common everyday word that you'd be an idiot to not be able to pronounce so that was a driving factor as well.

I had a friend who was going to become Shiela Long-Dong. She decided to stick with Shiela Long (First name changed to protect the innocent).

But her husband remained Dr. Dong, instead of becoming Dr. Long.

There is really no good solution, is there? Not with the customs we have inherited. I am getting married next year and am still struggling with this. I really dislike the idea of dropping any part of the name I was given at birth...I know some women drop their middle name and move their maiden name into that position, but because my middle name is after a family member I would feel kind of bad getting rid of it. Besides, I don't like the discontinuity of being known by one name for thirty-something years and then totally changing it...it confuses people, and the fact is that you are the same person after you marry than you were before. That said, I can see where not having the same last name as one's kids could create confusion. I think I will end up hyphenating...seems like the best compromise although I am really not excited about having to still go through all the name change paperwork!!

I was an attorney before being a nurse, and 100% of my female attorney colleagues kept their maiden name. It was the traditional thing to do and part of the culture that one kept one's name. Part of it was because there was a desire not to confuse clients, but even when that wasn't an issue, it was just "what you do." The children usually (but not always) took the father's name.

I can say that there was no confusion caused by the different surnames in the family, at least none that was not surmountable.

I think it is just what you are comfortable with for the rest of your life. Any confusion/effort saved or added by your choice of name would dissipate fairly quickly, and should not drive the decision.