Just started Ramp and thinking of stopping

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Oct 10, 2015

I would stick with it. From personal experience, I learned its better to stick with it even if it's a pain in the behind, than leave nursing all together thinking it might be easier to get into a new career. I tried that, even went back to school and got an additional college degree. When I got done I couldn't find a job aside from housekeeping in spite of having not one but two college degrees. I decided about two years ago to get back into nursing no matter what it took, hiring an attorney for the licensure/BON issues and going one step at a time to fulfill the conditions listed on the Board Order. I just renewed my expired license and started on my Recovery Monitoring Agreement. With patience and work I should be able to apply for reinstatement soon. It is possible to get back. Good luck on whatever decision you make.

Omaapecm, ASN, RN · Oct 11, 2015

I am in the state of nevada and am under a probationary contract. I am having a rough high risk pregnancy and do not want to continue with my program while I going through all of this, especially while I am not working. I spoke with my lawyer who advised me that I need to just put my license in an inactive status. This way there will be no black marks or non compliance issues. I to wanted to just give up but I am so glad I talked with my lawyer first. Contact your case worker and ask of that is an option. From what I was told once I am ready to go back it shouldn't be much of an issue. They may request a written letter or a meeting before returning to active status.

Hang in there and don't give up. Keep us updated !!!!

tamifitz · Oct 11, 2015

thank you for responding... I haven't made any decisions yet, I am curious however how that would work because I don't want to go back into nursing. the financial burden of going through this program is a major entity to my decision as well... and if I am not compliant even with financial hardship, they will put an action against my license. I feel that it would be better to surrender and get us to a better spot. I am not making any decisions until I start going to peer group meetings and then I will go from there.

odaat · Oct 11, 2015

Before I finally found work 1.5 years after starting my program I went through the same feelings you're having all the time. The financial burden alone was tough but the stress also made me feel like it was actually impairing my ability to heal and get mentally well again. Because my program also plays middle man between me and my psychiatrist and therapist I felt like I couldn't even get the honest help I needed. I could go on and on about this, but the point is it was really rough and I totally commiserate with the feeling of just wanting to walk away. Just imagining the freedom I'd feel, like a million pounds lifting off me if I just quit, was great. But at the same time I love nursing and I have a family that needs provided for now, not years later after I invest in more education and another career.

What got me through is knowing that I could deal with monitoring for one more day but I didn't know if I could deal with how I'd really feel if I quit. So I stuck with it. Now that I'm finally working it's a whole different experience! I don't have to decide between paying for a uds or eating. I'm settled in and easily just complete my reporting requirements and fly under the radar which is all I ever wanted to be able to do. There's still things I resent about it for sure, but the difference for me between working in the program vs not is like night and day. When I couldn't find work for so long all I could constantly think is what is the point of putting myself through this?? But now I'm so glad I stuck it out.

So I guess my point is that there really is a huge difference mentally between working and not in the program and if you could stick it out until you start working again you might find your feelings change as well. For me it also seemed like I would never find work but I did and so has everyone else I know in this situation.

Good luck with whatever you decide and just know that your feelings right now are completely valid and I totally understand where you're coming from'

Big Blondie, ASN, BSN, MSN, APRN · Oct 11, 2015

Second time around for me after 7 yrs clean. When I got started this time it was more difficult. I had people to do anything I didnt want to do in my workand home life for many years. Here I was faced with all of these tasks I didnt want to do, I felt like crap and frankly I was overwhelmed with all of it. I thought I may just throw in the towel. But I didnt. tPAPN has helped me salvage my career and my life. The life of an addict alone is horrible. Your circumstances arent clear, so I cant comment on too much of your post. Put one foot in front of the other, breath, and do what you have to do. This will be behind you someday and you will be able to advocate for nurses who are in the same boat. Be strong! You can do this!

tamifitz · Oct 11, 2015

I am also an addict and have to do the 90/90, OP and see a therapist for my depression/anxiety. This is just for me, RAMP requires me to go to peer meetings, daily check ins and pay for my labs, which can be anywhere from $50-$300 depending on the type of test and thats a minimum of 25 times a year. I also have to get weekly report from my sponsor and rehab facility weekly for the next 5 years... I double checked on this too. I had a relapse and told on myself to ramp when I called and asked questions... they said if I didn't comply within 14 days they would report me to the BON... So I have been complying of course. I had to quit my job immediately and put a suspension on my license... the kicker is I felt it coming on for months and had made a decision to change fields to take the temptations away, this is the reason I want to change my field. I thank you for your input and wish you the best of luck... I just hope I find an answer...

caliotter3 · Oct 11, 2015

Don't sell yourself short OP. The fact that you realized what was going on and called and reported yourself shows that you have a lot more on the ball than what you may think. Best wishes going forward.

SororAKS, ADN, RN · Oct 13, 2015

Does your program have assistance for those with financial difficulties? Mine does. It's worth asking about. This can defray costs for uds. I would keep on doing things one day at a time. It is stressful now, but nowhere near what you might feel if you quit. You could go to another career, but I wonder if that would be a version of a geographical cure. Just saying. I tried that too, thinking I was done with nursing. Turns out, I wasn't. I am now dealing with things years after the fact, again. I learned that leaving might have been an option at the time, but the knowledge that I had QUIT really hit me hard and I was not only ashamed of myself for that, but ashamed because I could have had much less in terms of penalties upon my license had I just bit the bullet and stuck it out. I was suspended for three years. Now I am working towards reinstatement, in the monitoring program, and see light at the end of the tunnel. I did, however, lose many years that could have been spent in nursing.

tamifitz · Oct 13, 2015

thank you so much for the support. it is nice to hear...

Ozymandia · Oct 20, 2015

Are you allowed to get treatment by. Psych doctor and take meds prescribed for anxiety and depression? If yes that's what I would do asap. Don't give up. You can do this. Don't let them win.

eknurse1 · Oct 28, 2015

I am also in RAMP and completely understand here you are coming from. I struggle every day with whether or not to quit nursing due to the requirements of RAMP. I have no issues with staying clean but its the hoops they make you jump through that really bother me. I have seen people come into the support groups who I believe truly should not be there and get 5 years in the program and then others with a similar issue only get 1 or 2. I think its a big scam, there is no rhyme or reason to half of the decisions they make and when you start asking too many questions to your case manager they retaliate against you. I was told by my case manager that if I wanted to not continue being a nurse, and therefore I would no longer do RAMP that they would have to report me to the BON and that there would be a public action against my license for not completing the program, even if I voluntarily decided not to complete and inactivate my license. So if there was a public actions against my license, when I applied for another license for another career path there is a possibility that they could look up and see my public action on my nursing license. My case manger said its a 50/50 chance they would see it and that I could just explain to them that I voluntarily quit the program and it could either go in my favor or not. But definably something that has kept me in the program so just thought I would share and perhaps you could speak with your case manager about it. My experience with my case manger is that she takes forever to answer my questions and when I get her on the phone she never knows the answers and always has to ask the director or bring it to the team. Clearly I have very negative opinions of RAMP. I believe that it can indeed be a very great program for people who are struggling and need it, but they don't seem to really take things case by case and seem like power hungry people who are far removed from addiction and lack the proper education. Hopefully one day there will be enough people who take initiative to do something about it and contact NJSNA to file complaints against RAMP and they make the necessary changes that I believe are needed to the program. Hope that you find the answer and can make peace with your decision about staying a nurse or not. Just take everything one day at a time! Prayers and well wishes with you!