Just need to vent...

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I have a situation that has kept me sleeplessly tossing and turning all day so who better to turn to then the wonderful folks at AN!! My schedule is 12 hour nights on Sun, Mon and Tue. This past Friday my brother-in-law passed away VERY unexpectedly and too young (64). He was a wonderful man and a fixture in our family and never sick a day (victim of the widowmaker). Needless to say our family is devastated. Arrangements were made over the weekend. When I went into work last night for my first night the ADON was there, as was MDS. I looked to see who was the nurse on call and it was MDS (our protocol is to call nurse on call with these situations). As she was there I began to tell her my situation and that I would need Tuesday night only off and was planning to work the first two nights of my week (of course I was already there). As I am explaining this to her she starts to smile! I stopped what I was saying and said "this isn't funny" to which she started to laugh! I again said " this isn't funny...you are laughing at me?!" That only made her laugh harder!! The ADON was shocked and tried to cover for her saying "she isn't laughing at you she is just laughing because of having to deal with so many schedule issues". Seriously...she does not even make the schedule but she did have to come in yesterday to cover a call off. I am sorry she had to work a Sunday but did I deserve to be laughed at?? She never did apologize, express sympathy or anything...they both just told me to wait til after midnight and call the next on call nurse.

Sooo....I called the next nurse (who actually does nurse schedule) right away instead of waiting til midnight and explained the situation and told her I would try to find coverage for the night. She told me to try Nurse A. I called Nurse A and she was happy to cover for me as long as she was approved for OT because for the past month OT is a felony punishable by death (OK not really but close). I sent a text message to nurse on call as when I earlier called it was very noisy and she was obviously enjoying her day off and I did not want to further bother her since she really was not on call yet and also others have said it is the best way to contact her. So I thought I had just this one night off and then I was scheduled off the rest of the week to deal with my family issues. I came home this morning and have tossed and turned with too much on my mind and just sad. I look at my phone and there is a text....can I switch a day instead of just taking off because they need to eliminate the OT. Seriously?? While I have been there less then a year in that time I have never called off, never been late, never had anyone complain about me. I try to do my job the best way I know and help my fellow coworkers when I can. Can't I now just have the time to grieve with my family?? Isn't that why companies have bereavement time...so we may mourn and began to heal with our loved ones? My question is what do I say to her?? Is it unfair to go in tonight and say "No...I am asking to take off one night and have the rest of my scheduled time off to be with my family". I am sorry this is so long and hope I have not rambled on. Thank you all.....love AN and learned so much from you all over the years!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics, ER.

That's their problem to deal with. Worst case scenario use your sick time. You did the best you could to cover, I wouldn't even respond to her text. Be with your family and put work out of your mind (and when you come back, it may be time to start looking at other job opportunities)....so sorry for your loss.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Respiratory, Cardiac, ED, Maternity, Ped.

WOW! 1st of all I want to say that I am so sorry for your loss! You should be with your family at this sad time! So...here is what I would do...I would go straight to the top. VP of nursing for the hospital! You should not be required to work ANY of your shifts this week and you should NOT be required to fill those shifts! You get bereavement! And the fact that that nurse had the audacity to laugh in your face is appalling! She should NOT be a manager...she should not even be a nurse because clearly she has NO compassion! I would report this and I would NOT worry about those shifts! No one deserves to be treated this way! I am so sorry you are going through this!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to understand the insensitivity of some people. I think they should be so grateful that you would stay and work 2 of your scheduled shifts. I think you have a right to be furious! You already answered your question, just go in there and say "no I cannot switch days off. If they don't want the person you arranged to cover the shift to work, they can do their own work and find someone. This is one time to not worry about others and take care of yourself.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Sorry for your loss.

I've had similar responses to deaths in the family, no laughter but no response either.

Take ALL the time you need. To heck with them. They can't even acknowledge and offer an expression of sympathy.

Look out for yourself and what you need, because they sure aren't going to.

They only look out for themselves.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER.

No, you can't switch. And you weren't asking to have the time off, you were informing them that you have a family emergency and won't be in. After that it's their problem. Bring the employee handbook in a quote their policies to them if you're feeling nervous.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Ambulatory Care, Case Manager.

My sincerest sympathy to you and your family. Stick to your guns with the day off you requested; you are entitled to your bereavement time. If I were you, I would go straight to the higher ups and HR to explain my situation. It's sad that we can be there for our patients, but when it comes to our own family management makes a huge deal.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm so sorry- for you, your family, and for having a total toad for an on call nurse. Totally unacceptable. Take the time and if they get nasty, leave. You don't deserve that sort of treatment any time , but especially w/a death in the family :eek:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I am sorry for your loss. One thing I have learned in this career is;call off when you need to. It is unfortunate that nurse was too wrapped up in her own situation to realize that a person died and that trumps her being inconvenienced . I agree with the one poster, "ignore the text", that asks you to switch shifts.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in SICU.

Does that MDS know she lives with other people on this planet?

Incredible. Freaking narcissist.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma/Tele/Surgery/SICU.

I am very sorry for you loss chasing. I am also very sorry that you are not getting the support and compassion you need at this time from your employer and co-workers. The laughing coworker is a jackbut and I would let her know that you did not appreciate her laughter. Your manager also qualifies as one. Take the time you need and FORGET about that text. Ridiculous! Remember you are not responsible for their short-staffing. There should be back-up plans in the schedule that allow for coverage in an emergency.

I agree with the poster who said they are very lucky you are covering two shifts. If your employer thinks so little of you that they cannot pay one shift of overtime to another RN so that you can be with your family during your brothers unexpected death, it is time for you to look elsewhere.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm very sorry for your loss. And I'm appalled about that woman laughing at you. I only hope she doesn't suffer a sudden, unexpected of a family member before she realizes how inappropriate that was.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment