JUST an LPN

So... if you want to know more, perhaps you could consider going to school to learn more! Very few people regret having more knowledge, and this might help you feel better about not knowing more. You can do it. Lots of people do!

I remember feeling clueless during my first code. RNs and LPNs both learn from their experiences. The more you see the more you learn and the more comfortable you will get. Take pride in your title and in how far you have come!

During my first code as a new grad in the trauma ICU I felt just like you did, shaken, unworthy of being there, and my head spinning. Now 3 years later and coutless codes (now in ED), I know a lot more but still have so much to learn. Part of nursing is always learning, so take this a step towards doing that.

Let me tell you that those feelings have nothing to do with being an LPN. My first code left me feeling helpless, useless, and lost. And I was assured by more experiences coworkers that those feelings are completely normal. I will always replay the shifts events leading up to the code to see if I missed something. And I will always think through the code to learn what I could have done better. And a code in an outpatient setting is sure to be a disaster (as in chaotic) because you just aren't used to having them. So cheer up, and as others have said, if being a nurse in the hospital is really what you want to do then go for it!

Feeling shaken is completely normal. You are not unworthy. No expects you to respond like an experienced code-team member or a paramedic. You did what you could.

Regarding the patient's passing: do you know what the survival rate after CPR is? Depending on various factors (witnessed/unwitnessed down, hospital/out-of-hospital, early defib/no or late defib), it ends up being in the 6-9% range for most people. A witnessed, in-hospital collapse with early defib may have a 12% survival rate. What matters here is that his family knows that y'all tried your best.

I'm an ED nurse and previously worked in ICU. Been in a few codes and I still don't feel 100 percent comfortable with them. The great thing is that you are NEVER alone in a code in a hospital setting.

No one could run a code by themselves. I'm sure you did the best thing you could do. When ever, I'm the first responder to a patient not breathing, the only thing I can do is compressions until the team comes. Be confident in being a LPN. I used to be a LPN, and have worked with many great LPNS.

Having an extra year of nursing school doesn't make any nurse more competent.

I think the feeling of believing you could have done more/done something better is completely normal, whether or not it's your first code. Take this experience and use it as a learning opportunity. You will continue to learn more the longer you stay in the field.

Honey, many times the most experienced nurses and physicians cant bring someone back. Try to give yourself a break. What you're feeling is normal and common

Can I just say congratulations on accomplishing more for yourself despite your family and social history. That is a lot to be proud of. And I will also reiterate what the previous poster's said. A code is traumatic, especially being new and not experiencing them a lot. Even someone who has been through many codes can't say they never leave them unaffected. That said, it's just like anything else, the knowledge and tasks come with experience. You will probably feel only slightly better after your 5th code but you will be more prepared at what you will see or feel (still doesn't mean you will know automatically what to do). Take care of yourself. You are human regardless of your training and regardless of how many years you have been in healthcare.