Joke..You know you are truly an ER nurse if...

Specialties Emergency

Published

Thought this was way to true...:yeah:

You are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. If not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse

Your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the ER pervert staring at you.

Your form of birth control is all the radiation from all the x-ray techs who forget you are behind the curtain

You think everyone who comes in for pain is a drug seeker, but give them drugs anyway, complaining to yourself about it and everyone who will listen

The words "the waiting room looks empty" will cause an emergency to happen "immediately"

You are angry for no reason, have no form of emotion and tell the grossest stories and jokes without blinking an eye

You wait for the "super nurse" who thinks they know everything to do something dumb.

You think it is funny to drink applejuice out of a urine cup

You give special nursing dosing for "special patients" who are a little to awake for your taste

You know that most of the drug seekers are the nurses you work with, not the patients

Every time you claim to be good at IV's or good at pediatric IV's, you miss, the ropes, huge enough for an 16 gage.

You laugh at inservices on sterile technique, knowing very well you have bit off needle tops and inserted Foley catheters into every hole without getting a new one.

You work night shift just to avoid working with the day shift crew and vice versa

You find yourself having "liquid breakfast" at the bar when you get off your shift in the morning.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You find yourself laughing with co workers during codes and you don't know how you became so emotionless.

You don't care when your co-workers hate you because "it wouldn't be an ER" if everyone was nice

You have a strong dislike for ICU nurses and vice versa and you do not know why

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer, and you don't care.

Your techs get angry or hide when you ask them for help with anything that involve urine, crap or helping.

You constantly think about the one day you will be that old lady in the bed who can't move and you get really scared.

You find vilals, syringes, needles, tape and pens in your dryer.

You find yourself loving scrubs, because no one can tell how fat you are getting.

(I found this on mynursingtips.com.)

Specializes in Telemetry and ER.

QUOTE: "What happened to you? Your feelings towards the ER nurses and techs are quite negative. Couching it in humor is troubling because this post has real teeth and fits in with all the countless ER bashing posts.

Wow. Are you a nurse? A patient who didn't get the care they felt they deserved? Both? I'm curious."

YOU KNOW YOUR A REAL ER NURSE WHEN YOU CAN LAUGH AT ER HUMOR AND NOT BASH IT. LOVED THE ER POST, ALL OF IT IS TRUE, THANKS FOR BRINGING LAUGHTER TO ALL OF OUR DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS HANNARN! KEEP THEM COMING!!!

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.

you know ur an er nurse when theres five of you trying to hold down a highly confused/post ictal/slightly crazy old guy from jumping up and peeing on everyone until you can get the restraints on, then after changing his previously soiled sheets he gets diarrhea all over and starts peeing again while rubbing his butt in a circle to make a nice soup out of it... all the while we are laughing and trying not to get splashed.... thats when you know your an er nurse haha :no: :nurse: :chuckle :eek:

...you enjoy eating cold Chinese food at 6:30 am after ordering it at 6:30 pm.

...you make prank phone calls to the "red" phone and enjoy getting an unsuspecting colleague thinking that a several multi-traumas will be at your door in less than 5 minutes.

This is a great thread. Keep it going.

You know you are truly an ER nurse if: You have ever told a patient that Geodon is a pain med that can only be given IM. :rolleyes:

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.

.. if you've ever had to give more than five "coochie cocktails" in one shift haha

Specializes in med/surg---long term---pvt duty.

You are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. If not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse

I got this one beat----I'm married to a guy that is a firefighter--paramedic AND a cop!!

If you've ever pointed to the lable on the normal saline IV bag (NaCl) and told the drugseeking patient "I probably shouldn't give you this, the doctor almost never writes an order for it, but this Nackel works on even the worst migraine/fibromyalgia/soft tissue injury/skinned knee. Please keep this quiet."

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
If you've ever pointed to the lable on the normal saline IV bag (NaCl) and told the drugseeking patient "I probably shouldn't give you this, the doctor almost never writes an order for it, but this Nackel works on even the worst migraine/fibromyalgia/soft tissue injury/skinned knee. Please keep this quiet."

:yeah: haha i would SO use that but i have "educated crackheads" in my ER lol they come through triage and say "HEY NURSE I NEED 4MG IV PUSH DILAUDID STAT!" lol i don't think i can slip that one past em, but i love it anyways! :chuckle

If you've ever pointed to the lable on the normal saline IV bag (NaCl) and told the drugseeking patient "I probably shouldn't give you this, the doctor almost never writes an order for it, but this Nackel works on even the worst migraine/fibromyalgia/soft tissue injury/skinned knee. Please keep this quiet."

I just laughed so hard I snorted. This is the best thing I've heard in ages.

Specializes in Emergency Dept, ICU.

One of the better ones I've seen... :up:

Blee O'Myacin , get a life. :down:

Specializes in ICU, CRU, ER, Med/Surg.

You know you are a real ER Nurse if your only allergy is to

"bleeomyacin"

When I take it, I want to tell crude ER jokes!:bugeyes:

You have a patient that is there for SOB and wants to go outside and smoke.You have a patient that is "allergic" to toradol and "dilauda"..at least 4mg is the only thing that will help.

+ Add a Comment