Jealous of my residency

[Sinkorswim]

I graduated with May with my BSN. Now I'm in a year long nurse residency program for new grads. I love it!! The problem is, my friends that I graduated with are constantly bashing me for choosing the residency. They chose to go straight to work on a floor at a different hospital. They say I must be inept because I need the residency (I don't think I necessarily need it but I like the extra reinforcement from it), that I'm screwed because I'm "stuck" in a three year contract with the hospital (I did sign the contract but I think it's worth it for the quality of the program--after all, I'm getting paid to do it), and laugh that I haven't even had a patient yet (for now we are only tasking and taking classes, this week I'll have "real" patients after a month). I think they're jealous of me. Even when I defend my program they won't stop!! We get paid the same (i think I even make a bit more than them, not that it matters). What can I do to make them stop!? And why are they doing this?

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

What can I do to make them stop!? And why are they doing this?

Are you sure these are friends? Real friends are supportive, not dismissive.

Anyhow, I wouldn't invest the energy into this matter, nor would I psychoanalyze why they behave this way. You know the saying, "Living well is the best revenge." Continue to live well, and do not let these so-called 'friends' see you sweat. In fact, cut them off...

[DeeAngel]

Learn to put your hand up in the air in the STOP motion and tell them "This subject is not up for discussion or commenting". If they bring it up again, gather your things and leave. Yes they are jealous. Once you join the real working world it can be eye opening how petty and crazy people can get over things like this. Stop discussing all personal matters with these people, they are not true friends, true friends would be terribly excited for you. You asked why they're doing this; they're doing it because they're pot stirrers and not nice people.

[kim0000]

I graduated with May with my BSN. Now I'm in a year long nurse residency program for new grads. I love it!! The problem is, my friends that I graduated with are constantly bashing me for choosing the residency. They chose to go straight to work on a floor at a different hospital. They say I must be inept because I need the residency (I don't think I necessarily need it but I like the extra reinforcement from it), that I'm screwed because I'm "stuck" in a three year contract with the hospital (I did sign the contract but I think it's worth it for the quality of the program--after all, I'm getting paid to do it), and laugh that I haven't even had a patient yet (for now we are only tasking and taking classes, this week I'll have "real" patients after a month). I think they're jealous of me. Even when I defend my program they won't stop!! We get paid the same (i think I even make a bit more than them, not that it matters). What can I do to make them stop!? And why are they doing this?

Just say, "I'm so happy for you guys! It sounds like you are happy with the choices you made. I'm happy with my choice too and I hope you guys can be happy for me!"

[babyNP., APRN]

I love how other new grad nurses know exactly what they need when transitioning into the role of a professional RN. A residency is an incredible opportunity for any new grad nurse. They're not your friends- I would stop talking to them.

[Collor]

Yes, getting a residency is awesome! You do not need to defend your choice, but if you want to..... nursing residencies decrease nursing turnover. The hospital is investing in you. The hospital I work at has a nurse residency program.. (although, it's only 20 weeks) and retains most of the nurses within the hospital 5 years post residency. I wonder how many of your so called friends will still be happy 2 years from now?

[Pca_85revived, LPN]

They're not your friends. You bonded with them in the living hell that is nursing school. You chose a path you felt best for your professional growth and so did they. I'm a total stranger and applaud your decision to make such a long term decision that will benefit you in the future. There. I've just given you more (well due) respect and admiration than your friends have in five minutes than they have in much longer. You deserve better friends, especially during this stressful time. Even if it's on this site. I applaud your bravery and dedication.

[Natasha A., CNA, LVN]

Nursing school taught me A LOT about friendship, jealousy, envy, etc and it was all new to me because when you grow up being "liked" you never see the smoking mirrors with people. I wanted to become better at making judgment with people. how? listen and observe more and talk less. Give vague answers and always redirect the conversation back to them. Honestly, being a great listener and observer can save you a lot from dealing with two-face people. Its not the win-all but it helps you a lot. I even learned how to keep my personal life private in the workplace. People LOVE RESOURCES and not really you. They love to talk about you and get information out of you but not really get to know you and who you are. Learn to distinguish the two. Never share too much about yourself to people why? Lowkey jealousy and envy sometimes even your own family members...Only share your goals etc to those who truly care. Those who are at the place you are at. Those who already been there done that and have time to help you get your foot off the ground. It may be tough at first but you really need to go back and define what a "friend" is and honestly what you are going through is not.

Hang in there *hug*